tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3577155903853273621.post5188347398869072458..comments2023-10-05T10:00:27.231-07:00Comments on The Diary of a Gold-Digger: In which I am a big fat bitch about my own husband and I feel guilty about itthe gold diggerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09134199198587591427noreply@blogger.comBlogger12125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3577155903853273621.post-51479478853646863922015-11-11T13:38:39.106-08:002015-11-11T13:38:39.106-08:00Anon, I think there was a specific clause in our w...Anon, I think there was a specific clause in our wedding vows excluding daily care for a jerk FIL. :) I know there was a politics exclusion. (It was implied. Running for office is so far out of bounds from "for worse" that it can invalidate a marriage immediately.)the gold diggerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09134199198587591427noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3577155903853273621.post-88430074179860757572015-11-10T07:58:26.912-08:002015-11-10T07:58:26.912-08:00Eh. You joined a partnership and that means you to...Eh. You joined a partnership and that means you took on more dues along with that.<br /><br />BUT. There's not only one way to pay your dues, and what you can and are able to invest certainly depends in some part on the particular person and what they are willing to do to help themselves/the people who are there to help them.<br /><br />I loved my grandfather, but he went through some real cranky bastard periods for awhile there while he lost more and more of his independence. We (as a family) had a bunch of talks about how to deal with it, and how we were dividing up who was doing what so that we could support each other and do our best not to feel overwhelmed.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3577155903853273621.post-364686971628534262015-11-09T16:18:35.271-08:002015-11-09T16:18:35.271-08:00I wish you could wave that wand, too, Anon! Browni...I wish you could wave that wand, too, Anon! Brownies! No phone! I think that would cure just about anything.the gold diggerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09134199198587591427noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3577155903853273621.post-30390212471178093202015-11-09T16:18:02.106-08:002015-11-09T16:18:02.106-08:00Oh Lauren - YES! Primo and I have been trying to g...Oh Lauren - YES! Primo and I have been trying to get Sly and Doris to take action for years. And yes, I am cranky about being the person who is supporting the person who is supporting a jerk who does not deserve it.the gold diggerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09134199198587591427noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3577155903853273621.post-75585534888692401062015-11-09T16:15:15.747-08:002015-11-09T16:15:15.747-08:00Thanks, Cat. Part of it is that I have already bee...Thanks, Cat. Part of it is that I have already been through the caring of a sick parent. I think I have paid my dues on that one! I don't want to have to support a sick parent who isn't even nice. (My dad was a sweetheart.)the gold diggerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09134199198587591427noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3577155903853273621.post-4255480952187995972015-11-09T16:12:30.728-08:002015-11-09T16:12:30.728-08:00Hi Joan - thank you. No, I don't think I will ...Hi Joan - thank you. No, I don't think I will go real time. It is Nov 9 and I am writing posts into March now. the gold diggerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09134199198587591427noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3577155903853273621.post-85744529896042415632015-11-09T16:11:40.640-08:002015-11-09T16:11:40.640-08:00Thank you, Hephaestia. xoxoxThank you, Hephaestia. xoxoxthe gold diggerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09134199198587591427noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3577155903853273621.post-834717236469767682015-11-09T09:03:28.603-08:002015-11-09T09:03:28.603-08:00You two have been in crisis mode handling for mont...You two have been in crisis mode handling for months...no wonder you feel burnt out. I wish I could wave a magic wand and give you a weekend with books and brownies and no phone access. I am sure you would feel much better! Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3577155903853273621.post-86400800854596842482015-11-09T07:51:36.831-08:002015-11-09T07:51:36.831-08:00It is not bitchy to not want to hear about problem...It is not bitchy to not want to hear about problems you've tried to solve that people have ignored your solutions for, or to want some time on your own in which you are not the recipient of bitching, or to tell your husband, 'I love you, but I cannot hear you complain about your father/Ted/Jack any more right now. I am at the end of my rope, too, because while, yes, you are dealing with Sly in person, I am dealing with you dealing with him AND I am still working AND you have been cranky about this with me. I need a break. I love you, but I just can't right now.'Laurenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17961324142363330268noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3577155903853273621.post-39034686175698203082015-11-09T06:58:23.754-08:002015-11-09T06:58:23.754-08:00It is absolutely a thing to run out of ability to ...It is absolutely a thing to run out of ability to be supportive. To need a break and say "I just can't today. I love you but I can't today."<br /><br />That Primo is who he is in terms of feeling responsible, etc. for taking care of his dad doesn't mean that it comes without cost in terms of the other people and other relationships in his life.<br /><br />No. You don't want to be a drain on him and making his life harder. But at the same time, there is nothing bitchy about needing a break yourself during ongoing-not-actively-a-crisis time. Nothing at all. He's going through a lot, but so are you holding up your end of this tent, making it possible for him to do his end. Doing a permanent cut and run would be bitchy. Not saying "Not tonight. I need to not deal with this tonight please. Tomorrow, okay?"<br /><br />- Anonymous CatAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3577155903853273621.post-85404060066737510792015-11-08T02:31:26.525-08:002015-11-08T02:31:26.525-08:00That is what we are here for, and we are happy to ...That is what we are here for, and we are happy to perform this publiic service for both you and Primo.<br /><br />Will this blog ever go real time? Just wondering...Joanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09458408621855773976noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3577155903853273621.post-30161727968935987712015-11-07T21:31:49.012-08:002015-11-07T21:31:49.012-08:00Dear Goldie,
If it's any consolation, I don...Dear Goldie,<br />If it's any consolation, I don't think that not wanting to have to hear about Sly and the ordeals he puts Primo through after a long day which followed a long weekend which comes after many, many long months makes you a bitch. I think it makes you human. But not a bitch.<br /><br />I think that you are underestimating the effort it takes to be as you put it "the only one not effing up" Primo's life all the time. And sometimes you need a break! And that's Okay! (Which is not to belittle Primo's experience, I just think you're having a rough time too.)<br /><br />Just my unasked for, completely inexperienced/ unqualified 2 cents from far away, on the internet.<br /><br />Love from Hephaestia.Hephaestiahttp://studyfood.blogspot.comnoreply@blogger.com