tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3577155903853273621.post8921234692588264500..comments2023-10-05T10:00:27.231-07:00Comments on The Diary of a Gold-Digger: In which all roads lead to Ted and Primo should just get it over with because there is no repairing that relationship everthe gold diggerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09134199198587591427noreply@blogger.comBlogger10125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3577155903853273621.post-20819369965546655232016-02-18T20:55:40.979-08:002016-02-18T20:55:40.979-08:00The hardest working, most responsible people I kno...The hardest working, most responsible people I know are adult children of alcoholics.They are very successful. I'm afraid they also learned to be "people pleasers" and we know how well that works out. <br />I think you and Primo are a good balance. You have boundaries, and boundaries are something ACOAs need to develop. When a child has to survive with mercurial, punitive parents, they will do anything to feel safe.emmahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08831705475681591440noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3577155903853273621.post-48410446185332184942016-02-18T16:36:38.867-08:002016-02-18T16:36:38.867-08:00If you'll forgive the armchair psychology, chi...If you'll forgive the armchair psychology, children of narcissists and alcoholics are raised to base their value on pleasing or placating those who create strife. They often need to please their parents to survive, no matter how irrational or destructive their parents are. This may or may not apply to Primo, but from what you have posted about Sly, it wouldn't surprise me if this was at least somewhat applicable.The Cosmic Avengerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10197101759099190901noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3577155903853273621.post-15960490554548352162016-02-18T15:24:27.465-08:002016-02-18T15:24:27.465-08:00Yeah, Primo is a really nice guy. But even so, he ...Yeah, Primo is a really nice guy. But even so, he agrees completely with me that Valentine's Day is a big ripoff! When we met, we agreed that we would not make a big deal of it and there would be no recriminations.the gold diggerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09134199198587591427noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3577155903853273621.post-19561577943282110582016-02-18T13:49:50.223-08:002016-02-18T13:49:50.223-08:00Wow, we did have a drug dealer but no face lickers...Wow, we did have a drug dealer but no face lickers in our family. There are other bad things, though, but they would take too much time to describe (I think I'd need to write a book).<br /><br />Primo sounds like a really nice, sentimental guy and you sound as if you are a lot like me - practical vs. sentimental. You and Primo perhaps make a good couple because each of you (secretly) wants to be a little like the other. <br /><br />My husband and I, on the other hand, are both decidedly unsentimental and it works well for us. For example, neither of us had to participate in the sham and tomfoolery that is Valentine's Day. Debranoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3577155903853273621.post-89325684401718055302016-02-18T12:49:41.870-08:002016-02-18T12:49:41.870-08:00Thank you. :)
Having all the papers in one room s...Thank you. :)<br /><br />Having all the papers in one room seems like a really good deal to me!the gold diggerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09134199198587591427noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3577155903853273621.post-55428558609540230582016-02-18T12:48:48.439-08:002016-02-18T12:48:48.439-08:00Yes! I have a big family (26 first cousins) and I ...Yes! I have a big family (26 first cousins) and I don't mind not being in touch with the cousin who licked Primo's face the first time she met him. <br /><br />(If you don't have an alcoholic cousin or a cousin's daughterwho has spent a year in jail for living with a meth dealer, then you just don't have a big enough family.)<br /><br />I don't care if I ever see her again. I don't care if I ever see Ted again. I won't ever see Ted again. But Primo gets tortured by it and I do not understand why. the gold diggerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09134199198587591427noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3577155903853273621.post-73745963382275647542016-02-18T12:45:25.192-08:002016-02-18T12:45:25.192-08:00Ah, thanks, TMA! Ah, thanks, TMA! the gold diggerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09134199198587591427noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3577155903853273621.post-57290135458685880582016-02-18T10:51:47.722-08:002016-02-18T10:51:47.722-08:00I don't hate it when my husband travels on bus...I don't hate it when my husband travels on business. And I am going away for two weeks by myself this summer to study in another country and I will not hate that even though I will be away from my husband and my kids, all whom I love dearly.<br /><br />Since I come from a dysfunctional family background I have a somewhat cynical view of family relationships, and have decided that I don't want to have a relationship with any family member who behaves in a manner that I would not accept from a non-family member. Just because you happen to be related to someone does not mean that they will be a good person for you to have in your life.<br /><br />Primo should not feel guilty for not having a relationship with Ted, you should not feel guilty for not desperately missing Primo when he is gone.<br /><br />Guilt is ok when it is merited, but feeling guilty for things you should not feel guilty for just sucks.<br /><br />Debranoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3577155903853273621.post-45499022571137766732016-02-17T15:43:37.879-08:002016-02-17T15:43:37.879-08:00Gah, I'm sorry. I'm sorry Primo is weary a...Gah, I'm sorry. I'm sorry Primo is weary and having to deal with all this ish. And I'm sorry you feel guilty. You shouldn't! I can give countless examples of wanting some space from my hubby (even though I love him), and he just doesn't get it. He is not an introvert and loves spending time together. I do too, except for when I don't, and just want to be left alone. You're great and supportive and honest. All fabulous qualities in a spouse!<br /><br />TMAAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3577155903853273621.post-90671168343533941722016-02-17T14:27:33.521-08:002016-02-17T14:27:33.521-08:001)Yes, Dilbert can be right on so often. Too often...1)Yes, Dilbert can be right on so often. Too often my husband is living this life at work.<br />2)And you are not a bad wife. I also enjoy when my husband is gone. Doesn't happen often but a break is always nice.<br />3)I found the car title when MIL died in a random file. At least everything was in the den.Libbynoreply@blogger.com