tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3577155903853273621.post1681702188905706329..comments2023-10-05T10:00:27.231-07:00Comments on The Diary of a Gold-Digger: In which I fill in the missing pieces after I spend a night lying awake thinking about all the things I didn't write about Doris' funeral weekendthe gold diggerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09134199198587591427noreply@blogger.comBlogger16125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3577155903853273621.post-90408450590744348862015-10-28T14:34:22.448-07:002015-10-28T14:34:22.448-07:00Stephanie is an angel. She and her kids are the be...Stephanie is an angel. She and her kids are the best part of Primo's family!the gold diggerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09134199198587591427noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3577155903853273621.post-9776101977158889402015-10-28T14:31:00.025-07:002015-10-28T14:31:00.025-07:00Thanks, emma. Yes, in the end we do want husbands ...Thanks, emma. Yes, in the end we do want husbands who go all out for sick old women. :)the gold diggerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09134199198587591427noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3577155903853273621.post-27091528433140173242015-10-28T08:06:38.568-07:002015-10-28T08:06:38.568-07:00You're very welcome. And that isn't to say...You're very welcome. And that isn't to say that you shouldn't push to maintain some things for yourselves, limit the impact of others and such. Just that I think Primo is also dealing with a reality - if he did just drop everything and force Ted & Jack to deal with it, things would be worse than they are, and allowing a human you know and have ties to—even one as mean as Sly—to suffer in such circumstances - I think that as much as you kvetch you would not really be able to let it happen either. Which probably makes you even crankier. :)<br /><br />- Anonymous CatAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3577155903853273621.post-38185058962700900102015-10-27T21:28:21.119-07:002015-10-27T21:28:21.119-07:00That makes a lot of sense, Lionors. I have had a t...That makes a lot of sense, Lionors. I have had a thought in the back of my mind a lot lately where I wonder why he hasn't just taken advantage of all of the considerate people in his life instead of alienating them. I know a lot of people who do things like that, especially where they are nice to someone's face when they need something and rude when they don't want anything. I guess at least Sly is consistent and doesn't act loving in one situation and cold in another.Jessicanoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3577155903853273621.post-40321852831156422772015-10-27T21:25:28.374-07:002015-10-27T21:25:28.374-07:00I was mainly talking about you (GD) and Stephanie....I was mainly talking about you (GD) and Stephanie. These stories are showing how much effort and thought you both are willing to put into helping out when he hasn't shown any kindness toward either of you. :( I don't mean his more recent behaviors in the care facility, but his behavior all along. And now you guys are helping plan and make sure things are running smoothly. Stephanie has to have a heart of gold!Jessicanoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3577155903853273621.post-33759503271822473062015-10-27T18:34:00.440-07:002015-10-27T18:34:00.440-07:00Anonymous (Oct. 27) is very wise! I wish I had had...Anonymous (Oct. 27) is very wise! I wish I had had their insight when my spouse was going the extra ten miles for his mom...<br />Best wishes to you and Primo - this is an emotional and physical marathon.emmahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08831705475681591440noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3577155903853273621.post-87007075069685813492015-10-27T15:06:20.324-07:002015-10-27T15:06:20.324-07:00Thanks, Anon Cat. This past week I have been so cr...Thanks, Anon Cat. This past week I have been so cranky. This has been going on for a year. And to my shame, I am letting my anger spill over onto other parts of my life to people who certainly do not deserve my ill treatment.<br /><br />You are absolutely right about how to look at this. Primo's generosity of spirit is one of the things I love about him. This is clearly not a man who will abandon me when I get old and sick. Thank you for the reminder. xoxothe gold diggerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09134199198587591427noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3577155903853273621.post-50271066719323459502015-10-27T15:03:29.686-07:002015-10-27T15:03:29.686-07:00Lioners, I know. When you read just about this par...Lioners, I know. When you read just about this part - with Sly in the hospital, it's easy to be sympathetic, but when you put in context of how he has treated people, including Doris, whom he made cry from his meaness, it's harder to feel bad for him. the gold diggerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09134199198587591427noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3577155903853273621.post-76225118502166512122015-10-27T15:02:26.312-07:002015-10-27T15:02:26.312-07:00Liz, that makes sense. Being in a hospital bed in ...Liz, that makes sense. Being in a hospital bed in diapers (I read ahead and saw a reference to diapers - I had forgotten) and feeling awful and having just lost one's spouse has to make a person feel super vulnerable. Sly does not do vulnerable - he wants to be the powerful one. I would hate the situation, too. (But I also hope that when I do get there, I have not alienated everyone in my life and that my son is not taking care of me only out of obligation - I want people around me who love me and want to be with me, the way we all were with my dad.)the gold diggerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09134199198587591427noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3577155903853273621.post-1556852625221928622015-10-27T15:00:07.163-07:002015-10-27T15:00:07.163-07:00Jessica, I don't know. That nurse assistant is...Jessica, I don't know. That nurse assistant is so sweet and so gentle and so respectful. We took the funeral leftovers to the rehab center so she and the other nurse assistants, all of whom were lovely, could have a treat.<br /><br />I sort of understand Sly - if he came to my hospital room while I was not well, I would not be happy! I would be pretty cranky, actually, that in addition to being unwell I had to deal with someone I don't like. But yeah - his behavior does not mesh with the "Give Goldie my best."the gold diggerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09134199198587591427noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3577155903853273621.post-92073501254312327972015-10-27T14:57:19.858-07:002015-10-27T14:57:19.858-07:00Thanks, Emma. I have to work harder to not let it ...Thanks, Emma. I have to work harder to not let it get to me. Bitter is not a good look on anyone, even with a migraine!the gold diggerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09134199198587591427noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3577155903853273621.post-27331830529577931252015-10-27T10:16:43.716-07:002015-10-27T10:16:43.716-07:00Goldie – possible thought for you. It sounds like ...Goldie – possible thought for you. It sounds like a lot of your frustration here is that this is a situation that you have seen coming for years. It’s been like watching a tornado gathering on the horizon and knowing that no matter how fast you move, you are not going to be able to escape it. In large part, because of who Primo is. And nowwwww – it’s hit. So that is nutzoid making, and it makes you cranky even as you try not to be, and man – you guys sound like you are doing a pretty good job of staying sane and supporting each other even when you’re fighting with each other in the midst of the tornado crapstorm.<br /><br />But – while Primo could be making ideologically better decisions about all of this, if he were someone who really really did – you probably would not love him so much. Because the compassion and sense of duty and responsibility that makes it hard for him to draw those boundaries with his parents, likely shows up in much more beneficial ways that you appreciate in other places. So it’s all part of him.<br /><br />Although I freely give you permission to strangle Sly, Ted, and Jack, if you had to cancel your long-awaited vacation. Or better yet, I’ll do it for you. Cuz nobody should have to put up with that after all the rest!<br /><br />- Anon Cat<br /><br />P.S. Let's not forget about TW. I mean, if she can clip the man's toenails, she surely can cover for Primo so he can go on vacation.... right? Um. Yes. Well... So yeah, let's not forget about her in the strangle-a-thon. :)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3577155903853273621.post-86014419931725488852015-10-27T07:16:55.700-07:002015-10-27T07:16:55.700-07:00"Why does Sly hate all of the people who are ..."Why does Sly hate all of the people who are caring and considerate? I don't understand this."<br /><br />Hmm. Maybe because he is not caring and not considerate, so he doesn't understand people who are? Or maybe he finds those qualities to be weaknesses?<br /><br />I want to feel bad for Sly, I do, but he is the cause of much of his own miseries. Lionorshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05214517929030206646noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3577155903853273621.post-88172658293439442912015-10-27T06:13:15.323-07:002015-10-27T06:13:15.323-07:00I would say embarrassment has a lot to do with the...I would say embarrassment has a lot to do with the current situation. Also anger that he can't take care of himself. Sly can't/doesn't want to admit that he is an old man who needs people. Aging is not easy.Liznoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3577155903853273621.post-9424480086860231892015-10-26T21:12:40.372-07:002015-10-26T21:12:40.372-07:00Why does Sly hate all of the people who are caring...Why does Sly hate all of the people who are caring and considerate? I don't understand this.<br /><br />I find it odd as well that he wants Primo to give you his best, but he couldn't find it in himself to give you anything at all while you're there in front of him (best or otherwise)? *sigh* <br /><br />Poor Primo. :(Jessicanoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3577155903853273621.post-49603506832710265792015-10-26T18:18:21.674-07:002015-10-26T18:18:21.674-07:00Tiredness may not be an excuse for being bitchy to...Tiredness may not be an excuse for being bitchy to your spouse, but tiredness + tension + migraine + insensitive jerks would try the best of us.I'm glad has one nice sibling. Too bad he split up with Stephanie, she's a gem. emmahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08831705475681591440noreply@blogger.com