tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3577155903853273621.post6009805657716404784..comments2023-10-05T10:00:27.231-07:00Comments on The Diary of a Gold-Digger: In which I am kind of mean to my cancer-ridden dad - no, just mean - and the shame haunts me stillthe gold diggerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09134199198587591427noreply@blogger.comBlogger2125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3577155903853273621.post-46163890742691971772010-06-01T13:46:46.310-07:002010-06-01T13:46:46.310-07:00My Mom died 17 years ago (was actually buried this...My Mom died 17 years ago (was actually buried this day in 1993), and I still remember two events where I was an unbelievable little sh!t to her. Neither happened while she was ill, but I am still haunted by the fact that I can no longer make it any better. I can't tell her or show her any more how sorry I am. How much I regret that I didn't understand how hard it was for her to give us Chanukah presents the year my Dad lost his job, and how sorry I am that I yelled at her when she gave us a package of #2 pencils one night. The other story is even worse. I feel you, my friend.Bohemiandochttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06758811279203924367noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3577155903853273621.post-46486335306511458162010-05-28T22:04:26.250-07:002010-05-28T22:04:26.250-07:00You have very high standards for yourself, chica. ...You have very high standards for yourself, chica. Best to forgive yourself, as Im sure he forgave you. All you were was frustrated. We all say mean things from time to time. Did you ever wonder what it must have been like for him, to have people around him be full of love, grief, remorse, guilt because suddenly there is so little time left? Kind of unreal, right? Maybe he actually on some level enjoyed hearing you be 'real' to him. I am sorry you lost your Dad. Your sadness really comes through.<br /><br />Seems like cancer only takes the good people. I wonder, why couldn't cancer pick some useless, evil person instead? xxooMichaelahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11038916759970109311noreply@blogger.com