The Diary of a Gold-Digger

After I met Primo in early November, I stopped calling or emailing Gomez. Yes, I know I should have broken up with Gomez immediately. It was...

Lest you think the Paris trip was nothing but horrible, let me tell you about getting Gomez to do household chores. He is very quick to warn...

I return to Springfield, ignoring the many, many red flags that were thrown into my face in Paris. Gomez and I continue to talk. The red fla...

Gomez has called me. Not on the real phone. Via skype. He won't email. Makes me nuts because I prefer to write. Plus he calls while I am...

I left you with my stupid, low self-esteem decision to see Gomez again, despite his attempt to manhandle me. Norah thought I was nuts, but N...

I realized I had not told you the whole, mortifying story of how I came to even date the Moroccan millionaire. I have been too embarrassed, ...

Me: Did you talk to your mom and dad about moving into assisted living? Primo: They didn't want to talk about it. They don't want to...

One of the big deals for Sly and Doris is taking the trash out every Sunday night for Monday collection. They accumulate it in the garage in...

Primo is an engineer. A singer. An arranger of knives. He can fix almost anything wrong with the computer or the car. He repaired my washer ...

Primo is the Rememberer in our relationship. A few months after we started dating, he would say, “It’s been three months since This Event or...

When I lived in Springfield, I had two fairy godmothers. They were wonderful women. The first was Mary Linda, my landlady. Mary Linda introd...

The other day, I got an email from a Fairview actor and comedian. Let's call him John McGivern, for that is indeed his name. John puts o...

Me: If you die, I am changing back to my maiden name. Primo: What? You would? Me: As soon as I get rid of the cats and all your crap in the ...

February 2010 Primo has to go to Germany for work. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It sounds good, but I have traveled with him before and here's how ...

Spring 2009 We are in the house, done with the big traveling (we take a two-week trip to Spain and Morocco in the fall as our sort of honeym...