The Diary of a Gold-Digger

Me: My sister's wedding. Wow. Primo: It will be fun. Me: But a lot of travel in December. Primo: Yes, but it will be fun. And we c...

One of the most stressful things about going on vacation with my family for my mom's birthday, other than worrying about getting Bart to...

My mom turned 70 last winter. Winter is not a good time to fly to Colorado, where she lives, unless you want to spend a lot of time in an ...

Paint the garage instead of hiring someone Let me change my name back to my maiden name Only visit his parents once a year Let me publish...

Primo: So I'm not sure who to vote for in the state party election. Me: Why? Primo: One of the candidates tried to get another candi...

My friend Bruce told me that he was thinking of running for office. He owns his own business and is quite successful. He is financially secu...

Primo: I was arguing with Potsie last night about the Polka Dot candidate for governor. He thinks she's our best option but he's pre...

I saw this story in Slate and showed it to Primo immediately. He laughed and agreed that Sly is a grammar (and every other kind of) bully. ...

Primo burst breathlessly into the bedroom, where I was happily reading a book, minding my own business, not thinking about politics at all. ...

Rember that stupid Meyer lemon tree that Doris sent us as an anniversary present a few years ago? She was nice to send us a present and she ...

You guys know that Primo wants to quit his job and do something more meaningful, which is completely understandable: the alimony ended last ...

Remember how Doris didn't like how I addressed the letter to her? And how she queried Primo about why I used my maiden name on the retur...

Primo's birthday approaches. You all know how fraught gift-giving events are with Sly and Doris. I would rather get nothing at all t...

Doris sent me a letter and I guess I didn't hop to it quickly enough. Here's the email she sent Primo: I am at a total loss on wh...

The letter from Doris arrived. Below are selected quotations and my commentary. A week after she sent the letter, she sent me a gardening ...