Golddigger 101

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Saturday, November 26, 2016

In which Primo has to adjust the windows at the cottage where we go on vacation

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Only we are not on vacation any more, so we are very, very sad. I wish we were the kind of people who can be on vacation all the time. We ar...
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Monday, November 21, 2016

In which I get Primo to concede that my brother using Too Many Paper Towels! is not the worst thing in the world and I remind him that his parents stayed in our house for nine days in our bedroom and I had to suck it up

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Primo was ultra cranky when my brother was here, as I mentioned, but I wanted him to get the heck over it. But, sadly, Primo had already rea...
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Sunday, November 20, 2016

In which my brother visits and it is stressful for Primo because - I think - he has never had a normal adult relationship with a sibling

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My brother is here on his way back home after my uncle's memorial fish fry last week. Greg rode up from Texas and is visiting us on the ...
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Thursday, November 17, 2016

In which I find another reason to think that Sly and Doris were Bad Parents

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As we are making the bed: Primo: How do you do that again? Me: A hospital corner? Primo: Yes. Me: Like this. Primo: You are so muc...
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Wednesday, November 16, 2016

In which I take a cooking class with some friends and the instructor tells us the cake we are making is perfect for when unexpected guests arrive and I ask why on earth would anyone want to encourage and reward that kind of behavior

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Really - why would you reward people for showing up unexpectedly at your house? I don't mind cooking and baking things to take to a si...
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In which Smithsonian magazine will not stop sending us stuff for Doris, even though Primo called them a year ago to tell them she had died and to remove her from their list and even though I have emailed them several times since then to tell them that she is still dead

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Fw: Doris Smithsonian mailings - she is still dead (No subject) golddigger ...
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Sunday, November 13, 2016

In which we attend my uncle's memorial service, which is a fish fry at the lake, and nobody starts a eulogy with the hesitant phrase, "He could be difficult," and I am not even the one who says that out loud - it is Primo

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My uncle died. He was 81. We went to the memorial service, which was a fish fry at my aunt and uncle's lake place. There were about 150 ...
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Saturday, November 12, 2016

In which Primo is reminded that yes, indeed, the tree placed the apple exactly where it wanted it to be as the tree's siblings nodded approvingly

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Saturday afternoon, as we are driving to my uncle's memorial fish fry. My sister, brother in law, and aunt are flying into [big city...
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In which I prepare for attending my uncle's funeral, which will be sad but was not unexpected, as he was 81 and had been in poor health for years

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The main part of preparing? Cooking. I am making a tortilla, the amazing Memphis Junior League hot onion dip , and a zucchini crisp. (We...
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Friday, November 11, 2016

In which Primo and I are not happy about attending a funeral because 1. funeral and 2. it's just starting because I have a lot of older aunts and uncles

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Primo: I don't want to go tomorrow. Me: I know. Primo: This is just the beginning. There are going to be a lot of funerals over the ...

In which it is Friday night and THE SEXXXXXY is already done

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It's done! Less than 100 minutes from leaving for the store - which included stopping for coffee - and a toilet that flushes as it is ...
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In which Primo does another Really Sexy Thing that gets me all excited

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You know how some women want wine, roses, and diamonds? I am not that woman. I don't think there is anything wrong with wanting wine...
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Thursday, November 10, 2016

In which there is a discussion of bellybuttons on Ask A Manager, my favorite blog, and I know I am with my people

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From the interview AAM did with her cool niece. The niece did not mention bellybuttons; they just came up, as they do.
Wednesday, November 9, 2016

In which Primo shares with me that Jack wants to discuss manscaping with him and I try to plug my ears and sing loudly

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Primo: Jack broke up with his girlfriend. Me: So? Primo: He said he needs to get his stuff trimmed. Me: What? Primo: He needs the ma...
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Saturday, October 29, 2016

In which I speculate that the reason Sly invested in Jack's restaurant was that he felt guilty about abandoning him and Ted when they were little boys

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"I've never thought of that!" Primo said. "Seems perfectly clear to me," I said. "But - he said that he w...