Golddigger 101

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Saturday, June 17, 2017

Ch 2 February Doris calls Primo from the bathroom, which is the sort of thing I thought happened only in fiction

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Primo: My mom just called me. Me: Oh no! Is something wrong? Your parents never call you! It’s not even Sunday! Primo: Well, sort o...
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Friday, June 16, 2017

Ch 2 January Sly says he is glad his sons didn’t have to be in the military and it’s not because he suffered so much – he was on a ship during peacetime, unlike my father, who actually went to war and whose death was caused by exposure to Agent Orange – but because – I don’t know why

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Primo: My dad asked what rank your dad was. Me: Why? Primo: Why what? Me: Why did he ask that? Primo: I don’t know. He was ...
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Thursday, June 15, 2017

Ch 2 Primo and I plan to Christmas together and Sly and Doris are pissed that he isn’t going to their place

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Need I say more about this? I mean, is there anything else to say but even though Primo just spent several days visiting them that Sly and ...
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Wednesday, June 14, 2017

Ch 2 And this is why I don’t care about Valentine’s Day now or ever

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Because Primo got rid of the dead rat (that cost $20 of poison to kill) that was making my basement stink. ...
Tuesday, June 13, 2017

Ch 2 Sly and Doris do not like how I addressed my thank-you note and I think, “People! You should be glad you got a thank-you note AT ALL because there are plenty of people who don’t even write thank-you notes anymore, even if a person has bought a wedding gift and stood in line at the post office to mail it!”

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I write a thank-you note to Sly and Doris because my mama raised me right. Not because I am truly grateful for the visit. I am not. They we...
Monday, June 12, 2017

Ch 2 Sly and Doris are angry that I ate something (but we don’t know what it was) and that Ted'sWife ate all of the pickled herring and left after dinner a few years ago

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Primo has his weekly call with Sly and Doris. I told you about that, right? Did I? Every Sunday, before 3 p.m. his time, he calls them....
Sunday, June 11, 2017

Ch 2 I google Sly and Doris OH LIKE YOU WOULDN’T – don’t act like you never open the medicine cabinet when you are at someone else’s house – and find a letter to the editor that needs no commentary

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I know I am the nosiest person in the world. I like to have information. I wonder what I might find online about Sly and Doris. So I go...
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Saturday, June 10, 2017

Ch 2 Sly and Doris thought I was “rude and detached” because I was on Primo’s computer reading the Sunday newspaper online while they were reading the paper Sunday newspaper in paper

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Primo: Ready to visit my mom and dad again? Me: Yeah, sure. It was so fabulous. They were so welcoming. Primo: I know. Me: They...
Friday, June 9, 2017

Ch 1 Sly has disdain for Doris’ parents because they didn’t have PhDs, which, in Sly’s book, made them unworthy of life

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Primo: My dad’s mother was not a nice grandmother or mother, but my other grandparents were the kindest, most loving people ever. My dad wo...
Thursday, June 8, 2017

Ch 1 Monday Sly and Doris are pissed that Priomo and I are probably going to get married

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Primo: My mom and dad told me I shouldn’t marry you. Me: What? How did they even know that we have talked about that? Primo: They’r...

Ch 1 Monday I get the scoop about Primo’s brothers, whom Sly and Doris are careful to call “half-brothers,” which is weird to me, as I have half-cousins and step-cousins and adopted cousins but they are all my cousins and all my family, period, without any qualification

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Of course he has mentioned his brothers before, but it’s not something we talk about a lot. What? Did you think that they might be importan...
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Ch 1 Monday Sly complains about Stephanie's weight again and I wonder what he will be saying about me when I am not around to hear, as I am not the thinnest person in the world

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We just had breakfast. No meal – no gathering of two or more – is complete without some complaint about Stephanie, who is, you will remembe...
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Wednesday, June 7, 2017

Ch 1 Sunday We haul the empty booze bottles out for recycling and it takes a long time

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Oh you guys. I had no idea. My mom and dad are/were not big drinkers. Sure, I had my pencil case made out of the soft blue bag with the gol...
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Ch 1 Sunday I try again to bond with Doris and she talks about Primo’s dead sister

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One of the first things I learned in my organizational behavior class in grad school that to break a dysfunctional group, you have to divid...

Ch 1 Sunday Sly makes breakfast for us and it’s not very good but it is food, so kudos to you, Sly

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At least this morning, Sly does not ask if I want to shower in the master shower with his son. Dang. Is decorum just dead in this country? ...
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