Golddigger 101

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Saturday, October 21, 2017

In which Ted sends Primo an email on Doris' birthday and then calls on Sly's birthday, a few days later, causing more stress than he alleviates (which is How Ted Is Always)

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Ted has not been a jerk recently. We are concerned. Primo thinks perhaps Ted has had A Change of Heart and is not Not A Jerk, but I say t...
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Thursday, October 19, 2017

In which Primo asks if I will make the amazing Memphis Junior League Onion Dip for the house party and I say, Yeah, I love you, but no

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Primo : Would you make your onion dip for the house party? Me: No! You promised I wouldn't have to do anything for that event. You sa...
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Tuesday, October 17, 2017

In which I wonder if I am evil or just practical

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Turns out Primo is hosting a house party (i.e., a political ask for money thing that happens at the home of someone who is not the candidate...
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Saturday, October 14, 2017

In which I wonder what to write from now on, as Sly and Doris are dead (although the estate still is not settled and continues to present challenges) and as Ted has quieted down some, which makes us nervously happy but also scared because when will the next shoe drop?

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So yeah. There's the draft of the book I wrote, where I fictionalized events because really, nobody wants to read a story where there ...
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Wednesday, October 11, 2017

Ch 12 Primo gives me the best wedding present ever and nope, it’s not a trip to Paris or a diamond bracelet or anything else you might think of

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Primo helps Sly and Doris to bed. My mom, who is not drunk, is able to get to bed by herself. Primo and I use the guest bath to brush our t...
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Ch 12 Doris is all weepy at my wedding dinner and it kind of ticks me off but then I really listen to her and it makes me sad for her and then she makes a Grand Gesture and it makes me so sad because her daughter is dead and she is married to a jerk and there is nothing she can do

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Doris waves me over. Good grief. Now what? Her cheeks are wet. Why is she sad? This is a wedding, a celebration. I know! I know! I ...
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Ch 12 Sly makes a toast but can’t even bring himself to say my name

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Sly stands. “I want to offer a toast to our son, Primo, who is our only joy. He is intelligent and accomplished. [1] He is the only thing ...

Ch 12 My brother and my sister each make a toast welcoming Primo to the family

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My brother stands. “I would like to make a toast,” he says. “We are very happy to have ...

Ch 12 Primo and I make sure we will not be sitting by Sly and Doris at the restaurant

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Primo and I arrive first at the restaurant. Bayou, one of our favorites, serves excellent New Orleans style food. I worked with the che...

Ch 12 We take pictures by the lake but Sly and Doris want no part of it and it doesn’t hit me until now that of course they would not want to be with us – it is almost 4:00 p.m.

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After the church photos and chatting are done, we depart for the lake to take more photos. It’s a prettier backdrops than the inside of Pri...
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Ch 12 And we get married and live happily ever after, right?

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Pastor Gail and Father Joe share the pulpit at Primo’s little cinderblock Lutheran church, with Pastor Gail performing the ceremony and Fat...

Ch 12 I show Primo my new and improved self and he proposes for real, although still not with a ring, which is good because I do not like wearing rings and an engagement ring for me would be a big fat waste of money

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Primo: Wow! Me: Don’t get used to it. There is no way I could re-create this look ever. I don’t have the skills or the patience. Pr...

Ch 12 Jenny gives me makeover, which is fitting because she has the hair, makeup, and accessorizing gene that I did not get

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Jenny knocks on the door of the guest room, where I am getting dressed. She hands me a box. “Open it,” she urges. It contains a pair of...

Ch 12 But they hardly drink the Lactaid

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So far – what day is it? Friday? – after five mornings here, they have used only about two cups of the Lactaid, about one quarter of the co...

Ch 12 Sly and Doris finish all the booze they bought and start drinking our booze again

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Remember that liquor Sly and Doris bought on Monday? That liquor of which I thought there would be leftovers to add to our liquor supply an...
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