In which Primo suggests that I am just so, so much better at removing petroleum-based stains from all clothing, especially his

Primo: I got vaseline on my pants!

Me: How?

Primo: I was at Sandy's house and she wasn't home but one of her [Senate candidate's] signs was crooked so I straightened it out for her.

Me: And?

Primo: And she had put vaseline on it because there have been some sign-stealing incidents on her street!

Me: That's what you get for meddling with someone else's business.

Primo: I wasn't meddling! I was trying to help! I was doing the right thing!

Me: And you are not seeing a problem with this?

Primo: It was the right thing to do!

Me: Uh huh.

Primo: Will you clean the stain off my pants?

Me: No, but I will tell you how to do it.

Primo: No! I want you to do it!

Me: That's OK. I'll just tell you.

Primo: But - but - I don't have time! I'm busy!

Me: Oh, and I didn't spend all day working?

Primo: But you already know how to do it!

Me: Yes.

Primo: And you're already good at it!

Me: All you need is practice.

Primo: But - but - but - it's not something I should need to know how to do. It happens so rarely.

Me: So?

Primo: It's your telling me I need to learn how to bake an apple pie. You're already so good at it that there's no reason for me to learn how.

Me: Now you are advocating for division of labor and specialization?

Primo: Yep.

Me: Kind of ironic that the only time you are in favor of free market policies is when they benefit you.