Golddigger 101

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Saturday, September 23, 2017

Ch 12 If you need toilet cleaner at the Apocalypse, come to our house

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Primo: I got some more toilet bowl cleaner. It was only 99 cents. Me: You got more? Primo: Yes. We'll use it eventually. Me...

Ch 12 Sly falls out of bed and I learn that this is a frequent occurrence

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Primo: My dad fell out of bed again. Me: Again? Primo: This has happened at least three or four times in the past year. Me: Tha...

Ch 12 We go to premarital counseling not because we are conscientious but because it is a condition of marriage in the Catholic Church

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We decide not to do the full-fledged premarital counseling where you write up a budget and talk about who takes out the trash and all of th...
Friday, September 22, 2017

Ch 12 We argue about how to eat ice cream

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Primo: You've been eating the good stuff [1] out of the ice cream Me: Yeah. So? Primo: You act as if that's normal! Me...

Ch 12 I put together a project plan for the wedding

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I put together a project plan for the wedding. When you have people staying at your house – against my better judgment, Sly and Doris are s...
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Ch 12 Jenny says she cannot plan a shower

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My sister: I won’t be able to plan a bridal shower and party for you in two and a half months. Me: That’s OK. I didn’t want to wear pen...
Thursday, September 21, 2017

Ch 12 Primo buys crummy stuff for the house but it was a good deal

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Me: What is all this crap? Primo: It was a good deal. I'll have rebates. Me: But what is this? Primo: That's a mat to p...

Ch 12 Sly and Doris didn’t like Primo's ex because she was a bad hostess and I think, “Pot! Meet kettle!”

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Primo: My parents couldn't stand ex and they had some good reasons. They actually visited us a few times, and ex was a terrible hostess...

Ch 12 We argue about the silverware

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Primo: You need to stack the silverware by category and size. Me: I bought that sep...
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Wednesday, September 20, 2017

Ch 12 Sly and Doris think we are asking if the date is convenient for them, not that we are informing them of a fact that is immutable

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We find a date that works for my sister and Pastor Gail, the pastor at Primo’s little Lutheran church, and Father Joe, the priest at my chu...

Ch 12 We set a date because now there is a financial benefit to getting married, unlike before, when we would have been married filing joint with two incomes

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Me: I guess we need to get married. Primo: Why the rush? Me: None, really, except we will be better off with income taxes if we fil...
Tuesday, September 19, 2017

Ch 12 I lose my job, which stinks, but I guess the timing could have been worse because at least I can get on Primo’s insurance as his domestic partner

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So there is that. I just got laid off. Nice. PS Being laid off stinks more than I can describe, so I won’t even try. But it is horrible...
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Monday, September 18, 2017

Ch 12 We argue about corn on the cob

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Me (eating corn on the cob) Primo: You're not doing it right. Me: What are you talking about? Primo: Eating the corn. M...

Ch 12 We argue about butter

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You guys, I thought Primo and I already had enough things to argue about – politics, his parents, how leftovers should be put in the refrig...
Sunday, September 17, 2017

Ch 12 Can you be engaged without an engagement ring? I don’t like rings – they highlight my short, stubby fingers and my short, stubby fingernails

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Primo: Don’t you want an engagement ring? Me: No. I don’t like wearing rings. Primo: But – we are engaged. Me: I guess. We just...
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