Sunday, February 19, 2017

In which Primo notes that he should be calling people to ask for money even though [our state's football team] just lost and lost big and people are all, "Well, that's it for this year" and are depressed



Primo: If I were a serious politician, I would be calling people as soon as the game is over.

Me: Right. Because all people want after [the big football team in our state] lose is to hear from a politician.

Thursday, February 9, 2017

In which Primo accidentally sends a LinkedIn invitation to his opponent, which still is not as mortifying as when I learned that you can see who has looked at your LinkedIn profile and I wonder if my old boyfriends, whom I have been googlestalking, know about that feature

Primo: You know how LinkedIn is always pestering you?

Me: Yes.

Primo: I never do anything on LinkedIn, but I clicked through to the "People you may know" section.

Me: And?

Primo: They suggested I connect with [my opponent]!

Me: OK, that's weird!

Primo: So I clicked through to look at his profile and I accidentally sent him an invitation to connect!

Me: That's awkward.

Wednesday, February 8, 2017

In which our sweet catsitter, who just turned 18, says he will vote for Primo

The reply to my request that our sweet, sweet catsitter, who is a senior in high school, feed our cats when we go on vacation over Christmas:


Yup! I will be in town. Also I saw the sign for Primo around the neighborhood. Good luck! I plan on voting for him!

Catsitter

In which Primo thinks about doing a report ahead of time rather than staying up all night to finish in a panic, which has been his preferred approach for doing taxes and other things that the lack of doing can put a person in prison

Primo: There's one thing I haven't been procrastinating on.

Me: What?

Primo: There is nothing worse than doing a campaign finance report at the last minute.

[I would say that there's nothing worse than doing anything at the last minute, but whatever.]

Me: OK.

Primo: So as I have been getting contributions, I have been adding them.

Me: Instead of staying up all night the day before the report is due?

Primo: Yes!

Me: Who ARE you? And what have you done with my husband?

In which the mother in law of Primo's best friend asks us how to donate to Primo's campaign and we realize, once again, how lucky we are to have such wonderful people in our livesl



Mrs W wrote,

Good Morning, Goldie:
How is the wife of the candidate holding up? As well as the candidate? I hope...
What a grueling and grotesque campaign this has been. Given my level of agony and disgust, I'm well aware that yours is infinitely worse.

I'd like to make a contribution to Primo's campaign; however I don't wish to put it on a credit card.
Would you please let me know how to do so by check -- name of payee line and address to which it should be sent.
I hope that Primo has a chance to be the victor rather than the perennial sacrificial lamb. Please keep me up-to-date.
Wishing you both fortitude and victory!!!
With love,
Ruth

In which a reporter - I am shocked, shocked! - gets it wrong again

Primo: You know that guy who called me for an interview?

Me: Umm. Yes. Of course.

Primo: The article was printed today. He made some mistakes.

Me: Like what?

Primo: Instead of writing that I am a "chip designer," he says I am a "ship designer."

Me: At least there is not a big difference between designing microchips and designing ocean-going vessels.

Tuesday, February 7, 2017

In which a politician whom I have never liked anyhow donates $1,000 to a candidate who is running unopposed in November but only $100 to Primo, even though Primo has donated money to this politician and has helped him campaign


Primo: Politician X gave $100 to my campaign last night.

Me: Wow! That's really nice. I think he's a total sleazeball, but that's nice of him to contribute.

Primo: He gave $1,000 to [Candidate Y], too.

Me: Really?

Primo: She won her primary in August and is running unopposed. So she doesn't even need the money.

Me: That seems kind of - unbalanced.

Primo: I have done doors for him. I have helped him a lot. I have contributed to his campaigns.

Me: Did he at least contribute as much to you as you have given to him?

Primo: Nope.

Me: I see.

Primo: So now I know where I stand.

Me: So you're not going to give him more money or help?

Primo: Um. No.