Friday, September 21, 2018

The Candidate's Wife: Primo calls his contributors to tell them why he is withdrawing and asks them if they want their money back

Fortunately, most of them say no.

I say "fortunately" because campaigning is not a money-making endeavor and Primo has already paid his campaign manager and paid the graphic artist who designed his door lit and paid for a few fundraising events (which - never raise that much money because we do not know rich people) and paid the hosting fees for his website.

That is, the campaign has incurred expenses along the way.

Most donors say they know Primo has already incurred expenses, so either use their money to pay for those expenses or give the money to other good candidates.

It is not easy, to call people who have so generously given you money because they believe in you and want you to win.

It feels like you are letting them down.

It feels like you are betraying their trust.

But Primo does it.

And people are kind and generous and they understand - pretty much any rational person has no interest in running for public office. That's why they were excited about Primo - he is different. He is not in it for ego or power. He is not in it for himself.

He said, "I don't have anything to prove to anyone. I've had a successful career. I can return to that career if I want. I wasn't trying to gain power or make a name for myself. I have other things in my life. I just wanted to make things better for other people."

And he's sincere when he says that. He is wrong :) in some of the ways he wants to get things done, but he really was not on a power trip.

Which is why it's OK for someone else to run when that someone else shares his beliefs.

And why I think his donors don't feel like they've been lied to or cheated. It was never about Primo. Ever.

Saturday, September 15, 2018

The Candidate's Wife: Primo goes to a campaign event for The Challenger

who wrote,

Thanks to everyone who came! The Challenger here, and I have a few things I'd like to say. I'll post 2 now, and another later when I have a few more minutes. These two are people I forgot to thank last night- I realized it later in the evening.
First, Primo. As many of you might know, Primo was my primary opponent until he endorsed me. Primo has long cared for our district, and he came last night to support the Kickoff--- which shows what a class act he is.
Primo has been tremendously supportive of our campaign, and we appreciate him for that. Thanks, Primo, for coming, and for all your support!

which was very nice, I thought.

Wednesday, September 12, 2018

The Candidate's Wife: Primo talks The Challenger off the ledge after someone tells her she has to raise $100,000 to be a credible candidate

This is the bullshit people tell candidates. That you have to raise a ton of money and then spend it.

Yes, money is important to campaigning because graphic artists do not (nor should they) work for free. Printers do not (nor should they) work for free. Campaign managers do not (nor should they) work for free, although if any of you ever even think of hiring the campaign manager Primo had for his first campaign, please let me talk you out of it.

Also - if you hire a campaign manager - and we LOVE Primo's former campaign manager - please write some sort of agreement about what CM will do. CM did earn his money by listening to Primo's angst, but I would have liked some more objective accomplishments.

But I digress.

It does cost money to run a campaign. Clipboards cost money. Stamps cost money. Gas costs money. Even a DIY campaign from your own house, where you are not paying rent on a campaign office, costs money.

But boots on the ground and the zeitgeist matter more than almost anything else, I think. There are candidates who spend 20 % or 10% of what their opponents spend and still win. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez raised a lot less money than her incumbent opponent but yet she won. Her message resonated with voters. She resonated with voters.

And honestly? I am happy to see a ten-term incumbent ousted. Nobody should hold an office for ten terms. Nobody. Nobody is that good. And being in office takes you further from voters, not closer to them. They work for us. They should understand our lives.

Back to the money. The money is necessary. There are expenses, even in a grassroots campaign. But if you can capture the hearts of voters, you can do without expensive TV ads. You can do without being rich or having rich friends.

The Challenger does not need $100,000. She needs a great message and voters who are tired of this crap.


Sunday, September 9, 2018

The Candidate's Wife: The architect who implied that Primo was racist because we did not want high-density housing replacing the church parking lot two blocks from our house is upset that Primo dropped out of the primary because he felt like Primo owed him something? Not sure

Primo: The architect? For those apartments?

Me: Yes. The one who kept telling you that high-density housing increases property values? Which is why you see so much of it in rich neighborhoods?

Primo: Yes. He is upset that I dropped out of the primary.

Me: Why? Why does he care?

Primo: He thinks I have an obligation to the voters.

Me: But - you and The Challenger agree on the issues. So it's not like the voters have lost a voice.

Primo: He thinks I should have fought it out with her.

Me: About what? You guys agree!

Primo: He said that point of a primary is to "sharpen the sword."

Me: So - did he ever give money to your campaign? Did he ever volunteer to do doors for you? Did he volunteer to phone bank for you? Did he want a yard sign? Did he share your facebook posts and ask his friends to vote for you? Did he come to any of your events?

Primo: Nope.

Me: So - he wants a sharp sword but he doesn't want to do any of the work.

Primo: Exactly.

Thursday, September 6, 2018

The Candidate's Wife: Primo asks The Challenger why she didn't talk to him before she announced she was running and she says she knew he would try to talk her out of it WHICH IS TRUE

Oh yeah. I meant to post this yesterday.

So not much more to say about this. Primo and The Challenger have become friends. They now speak honestly. And he asked her why she didn't talk to him before announcing, which apparently is comme il faut, but

1. The Challenger is not a party insider and
2. She didn't know the rules and
3. Even if she had known the rules, so what? Who says that we have to abide by unspoken rules made by groups in which we are not participants?

Primo and I argue about that principle a lot. Example - he comes down hard on people who do not speak standard English.

(OK - I know the rules about standard English are not unspoken - just go with it.)

I point out that there is no intrinsic right or wrong about language.

He, the son of a snobbish English professor, insists that there is Right English and Wrong English and One Must Speak Correctly.

I say Right English is whatever is imposed by the dominant culture but that speaking non-standard English does not make someone morally corrupt.

He thinks it makes someone Wrong Wrong Wrong not to speak properly. That's one of the reasons it takes him so long to compose an email or a facebook post - he has to make sure it's perfect.

Clearly, as evidenced by this blog, I do not spend hours copyediting. (Blogger is telling me that I am spelling "copyediting" wrong.)

Language, I tell him, is just dialect with an army.

I finally convinced him.

Well, I didn't. A young woman did.

We saw a play at a local college that an African American student wrote about the African American experience. In it, she talks about how if white people can learn to pronounce names like Pfieffer and Ziegler, we can take a minute to learn how to pronounce African American names.

And - he was convinced.

So I won.

And yes - Primo would have tried to talk The Challenger out of running. She was worried she would have let him convince her. So I am glad she didn't talk to him! I am happy that Primo is out of this game.

Monday, August 20, 2018

#NotDeadYet #WaitSheIsDead

This came for Doris.

1. Doris is dead. She has been dead for three years.
2. Doris never lived at our address.
3. Companies that sell mailing lists apparently do not validate their lists against the "Deceased do not contact" list. Or - maybe they do?
4. Doris never owned a timeshare.
5. I guess timeshare owners are presumed to be unable to use the internet?
6. Keep sending junk mail, you idiots. Using paper helps the stability of my potential pension and using the USPO keeps my first-class mail rates down.


Friday, August 17, 2018

The Candidate's Wife: Primo writes a lovely letter explaining why he is withdrawing from the race and gets more accolades from that then he ever did for running, it seems

So there you go.

Not only did he withdraw from the race, he endorsed The Challenger.

"I think you would like her," he says. "She is very nice."


Thursday, August 16, 2018

The Candidate's Wife: To endorse or not to endorse - Reader's Digest version because the actual transcript would bore you to tears

Me: No.

Primo: Maybe.

Me: Nononono.

Primo: Maybe.

Me: Why should you?

Primo: Party unity.

Me: Screw the party.

Primo: I know.

Me: Honestly. Why should she get your literal political capital?

Primo: Because I still want her to win the seat because it's good for my side and because after spending time with her yesterday, I like her.

Me: Uh huh.

Primo: She is really very nice.

Me: But we don't like her!

Primo: I know...

Me: BUT WE DON'T LIKE HER!

Primo: But - after talking to her, I realize she is actually very nice.

Me: And Not Running Again! And Other Political Guy Who Tweeted About Her!

Primo: I asked her about that. NRA is her neighbor. She's never even met OPG and was horrified at the idea of developing that land.

Me: She seems clueless. Her issues...

Primo: We might have been wrong about that. I asked her about the human trafficking. She said that she has been working at weddings in our district and has seen women being taken to rooms - women she knows are victims of human trafficking.

Me: I hate being wrong. Were we wrong about EVERYTHING?

Primo: I don't know. Her speeches are bad.

Me: But only because she hasn't had practice.

Primo: Yes. I was bad at first.

Me: And then you listened to me and got better.

Primo: I think I might endorse her.

Me: But we don't like her!

Primo: But maybe we do? She really is very nice.

Me: OH MAN. I HATE LOSING.

Primo: It's the right thing to do.

Wednesday, August 15, 2018

The Candidate's Wife: Primo meets with The Challenger and tells her he is withdrawing from the race and the angels weep

Time remaining for Primo to collect another 300 signatures for his nominating petition: Eight days but it doesn't matter because he is withdrawing from the race

Number of signatures it is reasonable to collect on a weekend day when you are not facing a primary challenger who is covering the same territory you are: 40

Number of signatures it is reasonable to collect on a weekday when you are not facing a primary challenger who is covering the same territory you are: a lot fewer than 40


Saturday, August 11, 2018

The Candidate's Wife: Primo's campaign manager tells Primo that he cannot just get his name on the ballot and then not campaign

Time remaining for Primo to collect another 300 signatures for his nominating petition: Ten days 

Number of signatures it is reasonable to collect on a weekend day when you are not facing a primary challenger who is covering the same territory you are: 40

Number of signatures it is reasonable to collect on a weekday when you are not facing a primary challenger who is covering the same territory you are: a lot fewer than 40

Campaign manager: That's unethical! You can't do that!

Me: Um. This is POLITICS.

Primo: He's right.

Me: You guys do know how non-politicians see politicians, right? We think you are all lying jerks. Not you, Primo, but the generic You Politicians.

CM: Primo. You cannot just put your name on the ballot and then not campaign.

Me: But - if he campaigns for the primary, we will have to skip our vacation in July.

Primo: We can move the dates to August instead.

Me: But I don't want to go in August!

[Yes I know I am being childish.]

Tuesday, August 7, 2018

The Candidate's Wife: We return home and Primo goes to some political things and still doesn't decide

Time remaining for Primo to collect another 300 signatures for his nominating petition: 17 days 

Number of signatures it is reasonable to collect on a weekend day when you are not facing a primary challenger who is covering the same territory you are: 40

Number of signatures it is reasonable to collect on a weekday when you are not facing a primary challenger who is covering the same territory you are: a lot fewer than 40

Again, I offer you the Reader's Digest version and not the hours and hours and hours version.

Primo: Should I run?

Me: Well, I would be happier if you didn't, but I support you whatever you decide.

Primo: Should I?

Me: You could make sure you get on the ballot but then not campaign.

Primo: That doesn't seem right. People have donated money to my campaign. If they are going to donate, I need to do the work.

Me: Yes, I suppose so.

Primo: Should I run?

Me: I can't tell you that, sweetie.

Saturday, August 4, 2018

The Candidate's Wife: We go to my mom's for Mothers Day and Primo realizes that life without campaigning is actually kind of - nice - but he is still cranky that nobody from The Party has given The Challenger A Stern Talking To even though he knows in his heart that That Is Wrong And The Party Should Stay Out Of It

In the meantime, this happens:

Messaging to Primo, who is going to the store, as my mom is sitting right next to us:

Me: (chocolate covered strawberries)


Primo(out loud): Chocolate covered strawberries? Why are you messaging this to me?

Me: Shut. Up.


Primo: But why??

Me (glaring)


Primo: What??

Primo: Ohhhhhh!!!!!!!

Wednesday, August 1, 2018

The Candidate's Wife: Primo takes a week off from campaigning and collecting signatures to Think About Things and wonders if he dares disturb the universe

Time remaining for Primo to collect another 300 signatures for his nominating petition: 21 days but we are at my mom's, so the next few days can't count

Number of signatures it is reasonable to collect on a weekend day when you are not facing a primary challenger who is covering the same territory you are: 40

Number of signatures it is reasonable to collect on a weekday when you are not facing a primary challenger who is covering the same territory you are: a lot fewer than 40

Pretty much every conversation we have for an entire week:

Primo: Should I run?

Me: I can't tell you that.

Primo: I can't believe that all the people I have helped and supported over the past eight years won't fight for me.

Me: That's hard.

Primo: Should I run? I am so pissed off. I don't deserve a primary.

Me: I know. But I can't tell you that.

Primo: I don't want to do a primary. It's hard. I'm tired. I would be the only one of my political friends who would have both a primary fight and a general election fight. The ones who do have primaries don't have serious general challenges and the ones who have general challenges don't have primaries.

Me: I know.

Primo: Should I run?