Sunday, October 26, 2014

In which Primo has to compete with trick or treaters to campaign

I am posting this one in real time so you will see how stupid it is here. Our trick or treating happened today. It is not Halloween. It is the Sunday before Halloween. We do not trick or treat on Halloween here unless Halloween falls on a Sunday. Is nothing sacred?

Anyhow, Primo went out as a politician.

I joke.

He said he couldn't do doors because the kids would be trick or treating. I said he should tell homeowners that he was not asking for anything their vote.

Which he did. Actually, the way it worked was he came home from an afternoon of doors and said, "So I had this idea! I told people I wasn't asking for candy but for their vote!"

"Great idea!" I said.

I wish he had asked for some candy, except he probably would have gotten just peppermints. Who gives regular-sized candy bars to a politician?

Friday, October 24, 2014

In which I get an invitation to vote for someone from the AFL

The AFL sent me a postcard. They sent it to me, addressed to me with my first name and Primo's last name. Did I tell you that I legally changed my surname back to my maiden name? I am not opposed in principle to women changing their name upon marriage, but I regret having changed mine, mostly because I do not want to be in any way identified with Sly and Doris but also because I missed my own name. I didn't realize how attached I had become.

So the AFL-CIO sent me a postcard and I have no idea how I got on any list they might have. I have never given money to any candidate or any party in my entire life. Except wait - Primo and I donated $100 to our college friend Susan's campaign for mayor of West University in Houston because she gave money to Primo's campaign and gave us a lot of good advice, some of which, unfortunately, arrived too late, such as, "Do not hire a campaign manager. You do not need one. You can figure this out yourselves."

Instead, we spent $7,000 for a campaign manager who turned out to be HORRIBLE and whose name I would publish here as a BAD CAMPAIGN MANAGER and a BAD PERSON except I am trying to be somewhat anonymous. But someday, I will reveal her name and you will know not to waste your very hard-earned money on her.

I try hard to stay out of politics. I want to keep my money away from politicians. I don't like how they spend it.

So why did the AFL-CIO send me a postcard and why did they use the wrong name and why do they think that a postcard would even affect my vote?


Thursday, October 16, 2014

In which Primo speaks at an event where there are posters of the president all over the place which is not surprising but there is also a life-sized cardboard cutout of the pres, which is a little weird

I rolled my eyes when I saw the photo on facebook. There is Primo, speaking at a campaign event. And there are posters the president on the wall. And there is a life-sized cutout of the president standing next to Primo.

Honestly.

Sunday, October 12, 2014

In which I marvel at Sly's ability to sacrifice in support of his principles

Primo: When I was at my mom and dad's, my dad made a huge shopping trip to Wal-Mart.

Me:  But I thought your dad hates Wal-Mart.

Primo: He does.

Me: But I thought he thinks Wal-Mart exploits workers and is anti-union and is pretty much evil personified, responsible for the downfall of American society.

Primo: He does.

Me: I mean, he rails against Wal-Mart!

Primo: I know.

Me: So why does he shop there?

Primo: I asked him. He says they have things he can't get elsewhere.

Me: Like they are the only place that carries the drug that keeps him alive?

Primo: No. They have a breakfast cereal that he likes.

Thursday, October 9, 2014

In which another friend wonders why on earth Primo is running



  • Brian


    So what has possessed Primo to go out and lose this fall?

    sorry, if I phrased that coldly.

  • Me

    The PDs wanted someone on the ballot and they needed it to be someone who wouldn't embarrass them

  • Brian


    makes sense.

    Hope the campaign season passes without to much headache

    too

  • Me


    too late.

  • Brian


    You need a third cat

  • Me


    YESSSSSSSS!

    More kitties would help!

Sunday, October 5, 2014

In which Primo and I discuss Sly's life post Doris

Primo: When I am at my mom and dad's, I need to ask my dad what he wants to do.

Me: What he wants to do?

Primo: If my mom goes first.

Me: I wish your dad would die first. I want your mom to have a few years of peace. She would be so happy in a retirement community where she could have some friends.

Primo: I know. My dad won't take her anywhere. He isolates her.

Me: She is so lonely. I feel sorry for her.

Primo: But he is in a lot better health than she is.

Me: I know.

Primo: My hope is that he will want to move near his sister.

Me: You wouldn't bring him here, would you?

Primo: No! He wouldn't want to be here. He and his sister get along.

Me: Does she know what he's like?

Primo: They talk on the phone. He considers her an intellectual equal.

Me: But does she know what he is like in everyday life?

Primo: Well, he couldn't live in the same house with her. Just near her.

Thursday, October 2, 2014

In which Primo's social media person quits, again

Primo and I are finally on vacation. Finally. We started on Wednesday with a visit to the Adams County Fair, where the only people at the Party booth were Primo, his campaign manager, and another candidate, a farmer/soapmaker who was told by the state party that if she ran, they would totally totally support her and now she wants to know where the support is because of course the party lied. They do that.

While Primo politicked, I looked at the goats and the horses and the chickens. I love the fair. Primo got all freaky because I was wearing sandals around animals. Primo is a city kid. His grandfather worked in a factory and taught Primo how to shoot pool. My grandfather was a farmer and the other was an auto dealer/mechanic. Neither of those are super clean professions. My grandparents taught me that dirt is OK. Farm dirt is fine. Sure, you don't want to step in manure, but at the fair, the kids are cleaning those stalls all day long. I would rather walk at a fair or in a barn than in a public restroom at a bar. Besides, it's not like I am rolling my half-naked feet in poop. I am walking in the normal way. There is a layer of leather separating my feet from the ground.

Almost nobody came to talk to the candidates, of course. Why would you talk to politicians when you can look at baby goats? Baby goats might be about the cutest farm animals in the world. They are interested in everything and have a ton of personality. Calves and foals are cute, but they are not as smart as goats and not nearly as interesting to watch.

I looked at animals. Primo politicked.

Then we spent the night in a motel, where Primo stayed up almost all night completing the League of Women Voters survey. Remember that one? It has the questions like,

And how can you mend a broken heart?
How can you stop the rain from falling down?
How can you stop the sun from shining?
What makes the world go round?
How can you mend a this broken man?
How can a loser ever win?

What we didn't realize until Primo started to complete the survey was that there was a limit of 600 characters - not 600 words - for each answer.

How can you mend a broken heart? 600 characters or fewer, please.

Not a good night. Not a lot of sleep.

Then Primo got an email from his social media person, who has been doing a fabulous job on facebook and I suspect, on other social media, but I haven't been following anything else but facebook. She really is great.

However, she does tend toward drama.

She already quit once at the beginning of the campaign because Primo copy-edited one of her facebook posts.

In Primo's defense, she was wrong. She had made a grammar error.

In her defense, Primo handled it badly. He should have sent her an email asking her to correct the post. He shouldn't have done it himself. Either you are delegating or you are not.

There was drama and there were probably tears and it took up an entire Sunday afternoon. I think I wrote about this already. In the end, Primo convinced her not to quit.

She quit again.

She is upset that the campaign manager is also posting on facebook and she wants him to run things through her, which I agree is the proper way to do it. You give people responsibility and authority and then leave them alone. You do not micromanage.

But if you are upset that the campaign manager is micromanaging, you take it up with him. You say, "Dude. Am I or am I not the social media manager? Let us discuss the implications. Let us discuss the roles and responsibilities. If you want to assume the role of social media manager, that is fine, but then I am not necessary. If you have ideas, please discuss them with me. I have an overall strategy that I have developed and we want to present a unified face of the campaign. Please do not post without clearing it with me first."

That is how you do it.

But blessherheart that is not how she does it. She is very non-confrontational. I understand that. It can be really hard for some people to speak directly when they have a problem. But that is a far better solution than quitting.

Primo didn't even try to talk to her. He decided she must mean it if she is doing it for the second time. I think this might just be how she does things. That's an exhausting strategy to deal with - to have to beg someone not to quit - and I won't do it. Primo decided not to do it, either.

He wrote her an email and thanked her for all the great work she has done for the campaign.

Then he got an email from the campaign manager telling Primo that the social media person was on vacation. You would think the campaign manager would have sent an email that SMP had quit, as that indeed was what she had done, but perhaps CM thinks SMP can be talked into not quitting before we get home.

That would be nice. As long as someone else is dealing with the drama, I don't mind it so much.