In which Primo and I disagree on laundry philosophy and how clothes should be arranged in a closet

Me: There are clothes hanging in the basement that you have not brought up.

Primo: I brought up the rest of the laundry yesterday.

Me: I can't find my black zip-front athletic jacket.

Primo: I brought it up.

Me: Oh. Here it is. It's with the t-shirts.

Primo: Yes.

Me: But that's not where it goes. It goes with athletic clothes.

Primo: Your closet is organized by color.

Me: By color within a category. Look - dresses, skirts, shirts, and athletic tops.

Primo: That's too much to remember.

Me: What? You were Phi Beta Kappa!

Primo: I can't be expected to remember all of that. I never expected you to remember where my shirts go when you were in charge of laundry.

Me: Short sleeve vs long sleeve.

Primo: No. It's a lot more than that.

Me: OK. It looks like you also have stripes and solids separated from patterns.

Primo: NO! There is also "not worn yet" and "worn once or a few times."

Me: What?

Primo: So I can know when to wash them.

Me: That is a binary status. Either something is clean enough to wear or it's not.

Primo: There are degrees. I have to keep track.

Me: If you can't know if something needs to be washed based on smelling it, you are not doing it right.

Primo: You are wrong.

Me: You are.

In which a comment from Webb reminds me why I have stopped skipping the abs sections of my workouts

In this post, Webb commented that she hopes we all make it to 95.

I do, too, but I want it to be a healthy, vigorous 95.

Have I told you guys the story of finding the woman who had fallen who couldn't get up?

It was a super cold day in February. I had stopped at the school on my way home to vote in some primary. I walked out and had not put my sunglasses back on. I saw a woman on her back on the sidewalk, reaching her hand under the car.

I squinted and decided she must have dropped her keys and was trying to retrieve them. But when I got closer, I realized that she had fallen (because really, who lies down on her back to get keys?) and could not get up.

You guys, it was freezing cold. FREEZING.

I dropped my purse and gym bag, reached out my hand to her, grabbed her one hand, and tried to pull her up.

I. Could. Not. Pull. Her. Up.

I am fairly strong and in decent shape for my age. She was probably in her late 50s or early 60s, maybe 30 pounds overweight.

Even with my pulling on her, she did not have enough abdominal strength to sit up from lying down.

I grabbed her hand with both of my hands and tried pulling again.

She did not move.

I am strong! But I was trying to pull up dead weight and it was not working.

I saw some other people come out of the polls and yelled at them to come help. It took three people to get her back on her feet.

That, my friends, is the day I stopped leaving BodyPump before the abdominal routine. When I am old, I want to be able to get up when I fall.

In which it is a year since the drama with Sly and Doris started with drunk Sly falling on drunk Doris and starting the chain of events that led to her death and it is still not over

You would think that six months or so would be enough to clean up and settle an estate, but you would be dead wrong.

1. The house is emptied and sold
2. Sly and Doris' 2015 taxes are done.
3. But - the grandchildren's trusts are not set up
4. Ted is still a pain in the ass
5. We have boxes and boxes of Sly and Doris' crap in our guest room.

Or maybe you wouldn't. Maybe you have experience in such things and it has been obvious to you all along that this was not going to go smoothly - put together two quasi-hoarders who make almost no death preparations, disinherit the executor and his half siblings, and add a disgruntled, entitled, obnoxious half sibling and you have yourself a nice situation comedy. Or dramady. Or something that makes people laugh and cry at the same time because honestly, what else are you going to do?

A year ago, Primo got the call about the drama having been set in motion. Doris told Primo, "This is the call you have been dreading" and LordHaveMercy she was right.

Thank you Sly and Doris for being such selfish jerks that you couldn't get your crap together.

Thank you Ted for picking up the mantle of The World's Biggest Jerk, at least in the Drunk Family, and trying to intimidate and bully Primo.

So lovely to have the dead keep on giving.