Thanksgiving 2008 I am trying very hard to keep my mouth shut while we are visiting Sly and Doris. I don't want to set Sly off. It's not hard to do. Remember the whole, "Pot, kettle" thing? Sly has no sense of humor. He definitely has no sense of humor about himself. And as he is always the smartest person in the room, maybe the world, correcting him is a dangerous thing to do.
For example, he once went on and on about how sociology was an exact science and how everything could be measured, but the more he talked about it, the more I realized he was really talking about some kind of hard science. I dared to ask if he didn't really mean biology and he snapped at me. How dare I question him!
So when he and Michael emerge from the office one evening so he can settle an argument, I am thrilled at what I am hearing. Michael is insisting, "Grampa. I'm right on this," but Sly will have none of it.
He storms into the room and demands of Primo, who is the math whiz in the family, "Primo. Five times negative five is zero, right?"
Oh. This. Is. So. Good.
I am talking to Stephanie. I don't even look up as I interject. "Five times negative five is negative 25, Sly."
"I told you, Grampa," Michael says.
"No," Sly insists. "The negatives cancel each other out."
"It's negative 25," I repeat. "You're wrong, Sly."
Primo confirms what I've said, which is not hard to do because duh five times negative five is negative 25.
Sly stubbornly insists he is right. He is Sly! He is smarter than anyone else! It's zero, damnit. ZERO!
Except he is wrong hahahahahaha.