Primo: I need to talk to you about something.
Primo: You don't even know what it is!
Me: When you start with, "I need to talk to you about something," it always ends with something I don't like.
Primo: This isn't bad. I'll do everything.
Me: Definitely no now.
Primo: You won't have to do a single thing.
Me: No. Way.
Primo: I spoke to Cassandra McCauly today.
Me: She wants to run for governor.
Primo: Yes. I want to have a fundraiser for her here.
Me: No. I am not doing another fundraiser.
Primo: You won't have to do anything.
Me: I'm not doing anything.
Primo: Nothing. I will do everything.
Me: I am not cooking.
Primo: I will get volunteers to bring the food.
Me: The house has to be cleaned.
Primo: I know. I will vacuum.
Me: It's not just that.
Primo: I will vacuum the living room and the dining room.
Me: The bathroom has to be cleaned.
Primo: I will vacuum the living room, the dining room, and the bathroom.
Me: No. The bathroom has to be cleaned. The toilet and the sink and the tub.
Primo: I will clean the toilet and the sink.
Me: And the tub.
Primo: That's what a shower curtain is for.
Me: Do you know how many times I have pulled the shower curtain back to check the tub at other peoples' houses?
Primo: I don't care about the tub. Nobody will be taking a shower. I don't care.
Me: But other people will. And they will blame me if it's not clean.