Tuesday Aug 7 I'm tired and Primo threatens to get a girlfriend, which is fine with me

Primo: So are we going to [wxyz]?

Me: It's late! I have to get up for work at 6.

Primo: So?

Me: Too late. I'm sleepy. It looks like our love life is going to become another casualty of your campaign.

Primo: Maybe I'll just have to get a political girlfriend.

Me: What? You think there are other people who want to stay up all night like you?

Primo: Politics is full of party people.

Me: Fine.

Primo: Or I can just have someone come over during the day while you're at work.

Me: If she'll clean the bathroom, make the bed, wash the kitchen floor, and make supper when you guys are done, I'm OK with it. As long as she does all the work around here, she can have the [wxyz].

Tuesday Aug 7 Primo talks to a Polka Dot talk show host

Primo: Guess whose door I went to today!

Me: Who?

Primo: Demarcus Evans!

Me: Oh! The guy on the radio. I like his show!

Primo: We had a really nice talk. I told him my wife really liked his show.

Me: Did you tell him that I usually disagree with him?

Primo: No, I left out that part.

Monday August 6 Ships passing in the night

This is the conversation I had with Primo, who left yesterday morning at 5:00 a.m. to attend a wedding, so of course I did not see him before he left for the airport - get up at 5 on a Sunday? are you nuts? - and who is returning today.

Primo: I'll be home about 11. You'll probably be asleep.

Me: That is my plan.

Primo: And then I won't see you tomorrow morning before you go to work. [Because Primo does not get up before 8:30 unless it is very dire circumstances.]

Me: Nope.

Primo: I'll be gone when you get home. I have to go to that town festival thing tomorrow night.

Me: Have fun.

Primo: And on Wednesday, I have to make an appearance at a fundraiser.

Me: I will never see you again, will I?

Sunday Aug 5 I ask my friends for money

I wrote this on my facebook page this morning:

If you are someone who gives money to political candidates, perhaps you would like to give some to Primo's campaign. [link to his campaign site] Even though I disagree with him on almost every issue, I can promise he is honest and will work hard for all of his constituents.

Let's see if it does any good. Nobody is obligated, of course, but for all the times that I have supported my friends' various causes, I wouldn't mind a little reciprocity, especially from the ones who share Primo's political persuasions. I told Primo that I was only doing this once.

Sunday August 5 The fight about thank you notes, printing the taxes, and painting the balcony

On the phone, while Primo is at the airport waiting for his connection to the wedding of the daughter of old friends of his.

Me: Did you ever print the taxes?

Primo: No. Why are you asking this?

Me: Because I was just upstairs on the balcony (that goes off his office) and I realized we need to seal it again this summer. The water is puddling and soaking in.

Primo: Why did that make you think of taxes?

Me: Because I wrote "paint balcony" on your list on the fridge and I saw that I had written "print taxes" months ago.

Primo: I haven't been to a [his employer] office in months, so I haven't had a chance.

Me: What about your thank-you notes?

Primo: What?

Me: To your friends who made campaign contributions.

Primo: I don't have any stationary.

Me: It doesn't have to be on stationary! An email would be better than no thank you at all!

Primo: I'm sorry I'm not living up to the standards set by your mother and my mother on thank-you notes, but I don't think they're that important. I'm also incredibly busy.

Me: They are important!

Primo: When am I supposed to write them? Don't say that I have time to go out so I have time to write thank-you notes. Am I never supposed to have any fun?

Me: No, you're not! You are not supposed to do the fun things until the work is done.

Primo: I'm too busy.

Me: You're not doing it right.

Saturday Aug 4 The dreamboat politician

Primo: I should go to the country Polka Dot meeting.

Me: OK. Except that's not our county and they're not voters in your district.

Primo: It's good for me to go.

Me: Then go.

Primo: Except they plan to sing "Happy Birthday" to [a major Polka Dot political figure].

Me: Gag.

Primo: I know.

Me: What do you mean, you know? He's your guy.

Primo: You know I'm not that happy with him.

Me: I know I'm not. Singing to him seems kind of cultish.

Primo: It is. But there are so many people who still gush about him. They say he's sooo inspiring and that he's changed their lives.

Me: Strange people.

Primo: All I see is someone who is continuing the policies of the previous administration and then lying to us about it.

Me: So don't vote for him.

Primo: I can't vote for his opponent.

Saturday Aug 4 Money from my mom

Me: Listen to what my mom wrote: "I'm trying to figure out what to start first with preparations for the wedding and company! I'm contributing $1,000 toward Jennifer and Matt's wedding, so I plan to give you and Primo a check for the same amount; it's only fair."

Primo: That's crazy.

Me: I know. I'm going to tell her not to give it to us.

Primo [shaking head]: It's nice of her, but no, we don't need it.

Me: I agree.

Primo: Although if she wants to contribute to my campaign...

Me: I don't know, honey. You and she do not agree on the issues.

Primo: I know.

Me: How supportive would your mom and dad be if I were the one running for office? I mean, considering that one of the reasons they didn't want you to marry me was because I don't agree with them about politics?

Primo [laughing]: Oh yeah. I'm sure they'd be sending a check right away.

Saturday August 4 More heat, more chores, more politics

I got home from work last night a little earlier because I snuck out early. My boss had already left and I thought, "Well why not? If I catch the 4:48 bus, I'll be home at 5:40 instead of 6:00." So I left.

I got home, watered the flowers on the front porch, roasted five eggplant and six peppers, prepped the Japanese eggplant and zucchini for Primo to grill before he grilled the salmon, made salad dressing, washed lettuce and prepped tomato, onion, and cucumber for salad. I did all the dishes.

This morning, I did three loads of laundry, went to the grocery store, made a batch of baba ganoush and a batch of avjar. I did the dishes and washed part of the kitchen floor. I will be ironing Primo's shirts, scooping the cat box, and putting clean sheets on the bed.

So at 11:30, when Primo asked if I wanted to attend a political event with him tonight, it was very easy to answer no.

No way. No way do I want to spend my Saturday night with a bunch of people I don't know talking about politics. But thanks for asking.

Saturday Aug 4 Primo talks to his brother Ted the jerk who is well connected or at least says he is but Ted lives in his own reality so who knows?

Primo: Did you hear me on the phone?

Me: Yes.

Primo: I was talking to Ted.

Me: Why?

Primo: Because I'm going to DC tomorrow for that wedding and wanted to see if he was going to be around.

Me: And?

Primo: No. He's on vacation.

Me: You didn't really want to see him.

Primo: Why do you say that?

Me: Because if you had really wanted to see him, you could have called him as soon as you had your tickets for the wedding to arrange a visit.

Primo: He still would have been on vacation.

Me: But you didn't know that. Calling someone at the last minute is what you do when you don't really care if you see them but are worried they'll find out you were in town.

Primo: Maybe.

Me: I know I would never call him. I don't care if I ever see that jerk again.

Primo: He might be useful. He says he'll use his political connections to help me.

Me: That's fine. You might as well get something out of him. But I'll believe it when I see it.

Friday August 3 The creeping campaign crap

Me: I want you to get all this campaign stuff* out of the dining room.

Primo: Well, then, you know where it will have to go.

Me: Oh no it won't.

Primo: It will have to go in the guest room.

Me: Forget it. Put it in your office.

Primo: There's no room in there!

Me: I know! Because you have 20-year-old software training manuals in there! Why won't you throw them away?

Primo: I don't have time to go through that stuff now!

Me: Your crap is taking over this house like kudzu! Why can't you just spend half an hour a day going through your junk and throwing things away?

Primo: I'm too stressed! I'm too busy!

Me: You're not too busy to go out to karaoke.

Primo: What, I'm not supposed to have fun now?

Me: You promised! You promised that once your leave started, you would clear out some of the junk.

Primo: That was last year, when I took a sabbatical.

Me: No, you promised a few weeks ago.

Primo: I can't do it.

Me: You're a liar. You make promises you don't keep.

Primo: I'll do it after the election.

Me: Liar! You've been promising to clean stuff out since before we moved into this house! I don't believe you.

Primo: Now is not the time for me to become disciplined.

* Flyers, The Candidate Boot Camp boot, more flyers, and some clipboards

Thursday August 2 Household chores

I asked Primo what he did today. (That he was so busy that he couldn't water my flowers as I emailed him and asked him to do. I noticed as I was leaving for work that they looked thirsty. I didn't have time to water them last night because I came home from work and went to a meeting at city hall that lasted until almost 11.)

1. He went to a press conference about Stripes supporting Polka Dot candidates who agree with them on the school voucher issue.

2. He went to a restaurant to talk about having his campaign launch party there.

3. He went to Joseph Banks to pick up his new suit, the one he didn't thank God make me help him pick out. We do not shop well together. It takes him 20 minutes to pick out bacon. He has to examine every package to find the optimal fat/lean ratio.

4. He went to the state fair to drop off campaign literature at the Polka Dot booth.

5. He came home, fed the cats, and then went to a neighborhood free concert. "I talked to at least 30 people," he said. "Some of them said they wouldn't vote for me, but they were nice." He sounded surprised when he said that, which is annoying. I get tired of the implication that those of us who disagree with him are mean and bad. Reasonable people can disagree, you know.

I pointed out that he could have watered the flowers anyhow and he said that he had scooped the cat box, made the bed, and done the dishes and wasn't that enough?

Wednesday Aug 1 The leave of absence begins

Note from Primo:

Sweetie,

I got up at 8:40, went upstairs and read my e-mail at 9:15, and found out that Samantha wanted me to join her and another consultant at her office at 10:30! I am still at her office; I didn't make it until 11:00 and am just about to go home, but then I'll be leaving again at 3:30 to knock on doors for my friend M and then go to his fundraiser. Then I'll be going to a health care forum at the library (probably arriving late for a 7:00 - 9:00 session) and talking to people as they leave. Unfortunately, I'll probably get home from that before your meeting is over!

I let the cats out of the basement and was surprised to hear the sound of PrettyCat pulling the dish away from SmartCat. After a few seconds, I realized that PC had not eaten and kept SC away while she ate (but still didn't finish her food). If you want to leave in the morning without feeding them, that's fine.

So another duty has been lifted from my shoulders. Whew. Life is much easier now.