In which Primo makes a ghoulish little Halloween joke about selling a used urn

Just picked Primo up from the airport. He checked three bags. Three bags of Sly and Doris' junk. Three bags of stuff they just would not deal with.

Primo: And I don't know what to do with my mom's ashes!

Me:  I thought you were taking them to her cousin's to scatter

-----------------

Primo [reading over my shoulder]: Hey! I didn't bring home junk! One suitcase is full of my clothes - the clothes I left there all year.

Me: Then what is it?

Primo: The lamp [that he made in shop in high school]. Three file boxes of papers. An attachment for the Dyson. Some toiletries. Some beer. It's not a lot of my parents' junk!

-------------------------

we now return to our regularly-scheduled blogging.

Me: I thought you were taking them to her cousin's to scatter them in that plot with Nancy's ashes.

Primo: It's big! It's a big urn!

Me: Do you want some at home?

Primo: Maybe.

Me: Maybe something you could do - maybe this is something to consider - would be to put some on the beach, some with Nancy, and then mix the remainder with your dad's. Your dad's are in three small containers, right?

Primo: Yes - Jack has one and Ted has one and I have the last small one.

Me: So you could scatter most of your mom's ashes and most of your dad's and then mix the remainder of your mom's with your dad's in your dad's small urn. And then you could keep them together in your office.

Primo: Or by my bed.

Me: That would make it easier for me to keep a vow of celibacy.

Primo: But what would I do with the urn?

Me: What do you mean?

Primo: It's nice!

Me: And?

Primo: Well, I can't just throw it away.

Me: What would you do with it?

Primo: I don't know.

Me: Maybe it could be a planter? I don't know.

Primo: Or I could try to sell it.

Me: I don't think there is a a secondary market for urns.

Primo: Could be.

In which I am getting even angrier at Sly and Doris for leaving their affairs in such disorder - if you love your children, get your act together and throw away your 40-year old papers so they do not have to spend weeks sorting through your junk. Don't be an asshole

Primo
I am planning the driving trip. Do you have anything going on November 17 or 18? I am not sure yet about exactly when to leave. It would be nice if you could drop me at the airport to pick up a car (in this case, cheaper than the Hertz place in [the place on your way to work]). I could take the bus there, but that would be a pain. In the worst case, I guess I could take the bus there, drive home and pack the car, and then leave. (I would not want to carry everything with me.)

Primo
I just talked to my mom's cousin about visiting her.

Primo
She asked whether you would be with me. I don't think my parents caused her to have a bad impression of you.

Primo
Hey!

Primo
Now is a good time for me to discuss plans for the trip.

Me
I could drop you at the place on my way to to work

Me
Tell your mom's cousin I am working and cannot take vacation - that my vacation is really limited

Primo
I know, sweetie.

Primo
[the place on your way to work] is much more expensive than the airport, oddly.

Me
OK - but how much inconvenience are we expected to endure

Primo
So maybe you could go out of your way on the way to work?

Me
to save the estate a few dollars?

Me
or maybe the estate could pay a little more so it's easier for us

Me
and for me

Primo
Picking up at the airport also benefits me because they have an area where I can choose a car (instead of just having to accept whatever they give me).

Me
then it will need to be after work

Primo
You couldn't go there on your way to work?

Me
it would mean leaving the house at the crack of dawn

Me
which you would not like

Me
I have 8 a.m meetings those days that I cannot miss

Primo
You couldn't get in to work just a bit later than usual? (20 minutes?)

Primo
Oh, every day?

Me
no - I cannot miss these meetings

Me
it is the quarterly reviews

Me
I have to be ther

Me
e

Me
Laverne is all lovey

Me
she sat on me and purred while I was watching tov

Primo
Every day at 8 for how long?

Primo
She loves you.

Me
and she followed me upstairs and is sitting by me rubbing her head on me

Me
17th for sure

Me
Sweetie

Me
we can go after work

Primo
And if you have an 8:00 meeting, you don't want to be walking into the building at 7:50.

Me
And I do not want to deal with you having to meet a scheduled

Me
schedule

Me
and the morning traffic

Primo
Because I don't do it right.

Me
I just don't want to do it, sweetie

Me
it is too hard on me

Primo
It is a hardship to have only one car.

Me
it is a hardship for you to be the executor of this estate

Me
it is a real hardship

Me
and you are suffering because of it

Primo
Maybe we can pick up the car on Tuesday, the 17th after you get home?

Me
OK

In which I tell Primo we have to get our affairs in order so that when we die, my sister is not stuck spending months dealing with our crap

Primo
I have been going through papers for months. I finally finished last night around 3:30. And some of them (a small percentage) were only partially sorted and will end up at home! My parents didn't do it right.

Me
nope

Me
we cannot leave that kind of mess for Jenny

Primo
I promise to go through anything that goes home with me quickly.

Me
good

Me
I will help

Primo
Jenny lives faster than you. She may die first.

Me
you are once again missing the point

Primo
If only we had kids so that we could burden someone with a job like this.

Primo
It would be different for a sibling.

Me
it is selfish not to have your affairs in order

Me
nobody should be burdened like this

Me
someone else could cut our grass and shovel snow, too

Me
if only

Primo
They were going to get around to it someday. Just not "today," whenever that was.

Me
yeah well look how that worked out

Primo
There was no deadline. Why act if there is no deadline?

Primo
What did you mean about our grass and snow?

Me
there was a dead line

Me
they were going to be dead someday

Me
and nobody knows the hour and the day

Me
a kid could cut our grass and shovel snow