In which Primo cannot take advantage of a long boring drive to get the weekly phone call with his parents over with

Me: Did you make The [obligatory to Sly and Doris if you don't call us you don't love us and we will punish you but darned if we ever bother to call you weekly] Call yesterday [while he was on the road for 90 miles and had his fancy new phone thingy in the car to go with his new smartypants phone]?

Primo: No.

Me: Why not? It would have been an efficient way to get it over with.

Primo: It was close to when they have their Drink.

[Which of course is not a drink but the beginning of an evening of drinking such that they rarely remember conversations they've had once they are an hour into Drink, which means if Stephanie, my sister in law, calls them to offer to pick up things at the grocery store for them, they are 1. ugly to her and 2. accuse her the next day of Never Calling Them. Remember when they stayed with us for NINEDAYS at our wedding how they went through a half gallon - maybe a gallon? - of bourbon and a liter of brandy in six days and two bottles of wine a night? And yet they don't have the money for oh, someone to come in a few times a week to do light housekeeping and cooking.]

Me: So?

Primo: They don't like it when I call then.

Me: Even though that might be convenient for you?

Primo: Exactly. It's not about me. It's not about what might be convenient for me. It's always all about them.