Saturday, June 23, 2018

The Candidate's Wife: Why not just sight with the left eye?

Oh. Because then he would have to shoot left handed.

And he is right handed.

I hope I have not given you enough information to identify Primo in real life now.

The Candidate's Wife: Will he or won't he?

Primo: The Challenger hasn't posted anything on her facebook page since Thursday.

Me: Since the neighborhood event?

Primo: Yes.

Me: Hmmm.

Primo: Maybe she's intimidated.

Me: Maybe. You and [Next District Candidate] have a lot more gravitas than she does.

Primo: Definitely. [Next District Candidate] does for sure.

Me: Plus he's hot.

Primo: You think so?

Me: Yes. :)

Primo: He's a really interesting guy.

Me: Super accomplished. I always liked working with him.

Primo: Maybe she saw what real candidates look like and got scared.

Me: Maybe. You are both very accomplished and experienced and very thoughtful and knowledgeable about the issues.

Primo: Maybe I should finish collecting signatures.

Me: Maybe.

Primo: Just keep my options open.

Me: I think that's a good idea.

The Candidate's Wife: The turkeys are safe


Me: How was it?

Primo: It was fun! Except for the getting up at 6:00 a.m. part.

Me: What did you like? The quiet? The view? The hanging out?

Primo: It was pretty and it was nice hanging out with [neighbor]. He's a really nice guy.

Me: Except you didn't catch anything.

Primo: I discovered that even though I have really good vision, I can't use a gun scope easily because I can't close my left eye! I can only close my right eye.

[And as I write this, I wonder, "Then why not just sight with your left eye?" I will ask Primo, dear readers! Stay tuned!]

Friday, June 22, 2018

Th Candidate's Wife: Primo goes hunting

Tomorrow, our (very nice) neighbor is taking Primo hunting.

This will be interesting.


Thursday, June 21, 2018

The Candidate's Wife: The Empress has no clothes

Me: How was it? How did it go? What did she say? What did you say? What happened?

Primo: Oh my gosh! I CAN'T BELIEVE IT!

Me: What?

Primo: SHE'S A DITZ!!!

Me: But - her facebook page and her website are so polished!

Primo: Yes, but she is a horrible speaker!

Me: You were not a good speaker when you started, either.

Primo: No! It takes time! I mean, she comes across as a nice person and everything, but she sounded kind of - clueless.

Me: What do you mean?

Primo: It's not just that her speaking style isn't good. That's understandable. It's that she has no depth. She doesn't even know what she's talking about. She doesn't come across as serious or thoughtful.

Me: What did she talk about?

Primo: [Candidate from the next district*] and I spoke first. We are both deeply involved. I have been really involved with education issues. He's been the city council president for a few years. We both had a lot to talk about that gave us credibility - about what we want to accomplish and about what we have been involved in.

[*A federal prosecutor and is very active in our city politics - I know him from serving on a board with him for a few years. He is very smart, very knowledgeable, and has a ton of gravitas. Just like Primo.]

Me: OK. What did she say?

Primo: She didn't have much! She cited attending a town hall that [our congressman] conducted - the one where they had the videotape of him being cranky - as her involvement! She was in the tape protesting.

Me: Wait. She used attending a congressional town hall as an example of her political involvement?

Primo: Yes.

Me: But - I have been to several town halls. I don't think that constitutes deep involvement.

Primo: Nope.

Me: Not that I think you have to be deeply involved. I think it's OK for people to run, even as novices. Everyone has to start somewhere. And I honestly don't want professional politicians.

Primo: Nope. Other guys in the legislature are desperate - this is their job - it's the only thing they know how to do.

Me: Not you.

Primo: Nope. And yeah - it's OK for someone to be new. I was new. But I'm the one they know in this district. I'm the one who can win in November.

Me: The [other side] would eat her lunch!

Primo: I know. There's no way she could be in a serious debate.

Me: I never expected this plot twist.

Primo: Me neither! Maybe this is just a few people from the neighborhood? If it's [Big Political Figure] backing her, it's really insulting! If BPF did recruit someone to run against me, it's kind of offensive that they would pick someone so insubstantial.


The Candidate's Wife: Primo is tormented about confronting his challenger

Primo: I've been invited to a candidate forum tonight.

Me: Are you going?

Primo: I should. I need to see her speak. But I don't even know if I want to run. It's been so nice this past week not campaigning. We could have our life back!

Me: I know. But I don't want you to regret anything. And I don't want you to withdraw from the race because you are scared of her. It's OK not to want to run or to be a legislator but I think you would regret withdrawing from fear.

Primo: It's not that I'm scared of her; it's that I am so tired of the BS. I ran before because someone had to run. But now, if someone else wants to do it, fine. I don't care. I don't have to have this. I've had my career. I don't need this to pay the bills. I don't need this bullshit from her or from other people in my own party.

Me: I will support whatever you want to do.

Primo: I have to know, but I don't want to deal with her or with Not Running Again.

Me: He's a jerk.

Primo: Maybe I should just go to this other event.

Me: Maybe.

Primo: But I want to see what she says.

Me: So go.

Primo: I don't want to speak. But I would have to. How do I talk about how I am the best candidate if I am not even sure I'm running?

Me: You ARE the best candidate. You ARE the person better positioned to win in November. You have been involved in trying to make things better for the people in our district for eight years. You're the one who's been in it since the beginning, not the one who shows up only when there is a chance for your party to win.

Primo: I am.

Me: You could just hit your talking points and ignore her.

Primo: I could.

Me: You talk about how you've been here from the start and how your numbers have gone up in each election and you have the name recognition and are the one who can beat the other party.

Primo: What if she says something about me when she talks?

Me: You don't address anything she says. You stick to your script. You don't let yourself get distracted.

Primo: But what if she brings up the highway construction?

[She has copied parts of Primo's platform word for word, including his bits about transportation funding.]

Me: Then you ignore her. People who know you know this has been in your platform from the beginning. You have been writing about it for months now. Here's what you do - you talk about how the district has not been winnable since 2010, when the lines were re-drawn, but that you have been in it since then, fighting for the people of [the state], speaking at public hearings, protesting, whatever. Because she is going to say, "Why should you vote for this middle-aged guy who has lost three elections? It's time for someone new, blah blah blah."

Primo: She won't say that!

Me: She would if I were coaching her.

Primo: Why?

Me: Because those are your perceived weak points and that's where I would have her attack you! You have run three times and have not won. You need to make sure people understand that the district has not been winnable until now - that even the incumbent [who was from Primo's party] wouldn't run again after the re-districting.

Primo: You think she would say that?

Me: I would tell her to. I would also tell her to hit the woman and mom thing hard. Which means you have to make sure to refer to [his stepdaughters and grandchildren]. People think that people without children don't have a stake in the future. You do have children. You have grandchildren. You talk about public education and college costs and say that you were able to pay to send your two stepdaughters to college but you worry that college is becoming unaffordable and that it might not be so easy for your grandchildren to go. You just mention them - don't make a big deal of it - but get it into the conversation that you have kids.

Primo: OK.

Me: Stick to your script. Don't let her throw you. Ignore what she says. You can do this. You really are the better candidate.

Primo: People who I thought were my friends are supporting her.

Me: That just means they are better friends with her. And it's just four people, right?

Primo: What if I see NRA?

Me: You give him the cut direct.

Primo: I pretend I don't see him?

Me: Exactly.

Primo: I just act like he's not there?

Me: Yes.

Primo: What if he talks to me?

Me: Cordial response, look past his shoulder, say, "Excuse me, I have to talk to whoever."

Primo: I don't like him.

Me: He's a jerk.

Primo: This whole thing has me so stressed out.

Me: I know, baby. It's hard.

Sunday, June 17, 2018

The Candidate's Wife: Where is the challenger getting her money? And does Primo really care about running anymore?

Remember I told you about the woman who told Primo she was running against him in the primary? And how she and our former city councilman (AKA Not Running Again NRA) had decided that one of them would challenge Primo? And that NRA had invited Primo to like Challenger's facebook page?

(Primo did not do that.)

And that Challenger informed Primo that people were signing her nominating papers even though they had already signed his and that people didn't even know there was a primary to which I yelled at the wall in our house, "IT IS NOT PRIMO'S JOB TO TELL PEOPLE ABOUT YOU YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO ASK IF THEY HAVE ALREADY SIGNED FOR ANYONE!"

And did I tell you that Anti-Development guy had messaged a really good, very involved political friend of Primo's (let's call him Bob) thinking he was talking to Bob's wife, Jane, but unbeknownst to ADG, Bob and Jane share a facebook account and Bob has read everything that ADG has written to Jane, which Jane would have TOLD HIM ANYHOW, telling Jane that ADG doesn't like Primo because he wants someone who is anti-development, WHICH PRIMO IS!!!!!

And that ADG wanted another candidate?

So today, after Primo has spent the past ten days wondering if he even wants to run again because this is turning into a major pain in the neck and he is tired of being hit from his own side (See: Guy Who Thinks He Is Like Thomas Jefferson Does Not Like How Primo Is Campaigning), ADG messaged Jane again to tell her (i.e., to tell Bob) that THIS is his candidate and included a link to Challenger's newly-launched website.

And Primo wonders if ADG knows that Challenger is NRA's person. And that NRA is very pro-developer.

Which is why he does not like Primo.

Stay tuned.