They send him an email from their joint email account. “We’re totally distraught. You've choosing her over us. Don’t bother to visit.”
The time stamp is 7:00 p.m. their time. Cocktail hour starts at 4:00 p.m. at their house. Don’t drink and email should be the rule.
Primo: Why are they being so mean? What can I do?
Me: Nothing. They are trying to manipulate you. They are making their own choices. Let them. Call their bluff.
Primo: But I think they mean it.
Me: You mean that if you marry me, they will never talk to you again?
Me: What kind of parent does that?
Me: And if they were going to make that threat, why didn’t they do it before we bought a house together? It’s not like you kept that a secret.
Primo: I don’t know.
Me: If you want me to, I’ll talk to them. I’ll suck it up. I’ll apologize. I’ll grovel. Not that it would make any difference. But it would call their bluff. If I make an abject apology – admit I was wrong, remove the statement from my blog – then if they refuse to forgive me, they’re the ones who look bad. You know they won’t let that happen.
Primo: No, that will make things worse.
Me: Actually talking about something that’s upsetting them will make it worse?
Primo: You know what they are like. You tried that, remember? You wrote the letter?
Me: That was not exactly successful unless you consider success your mom asking me to make a list of all the things I don’t like about them.
Primo: They are totally non-confrontational.
Me: What? Were you not there when your dad screamed at Amy about the white meat?
Primo: Good point. No, what I mean is that they would rather talk about you behind your back and be angry than have a conversation. My dad doesn’t want to fix things. He wants to be angry at someone.
Me: That is a sad way to live.
Primo: It’s not how I want to live. That’s why I went through all that marital counseling with ex-wife. I do not want to be like my parents.