Thursday, August 11, 2011

In which I find out that Ted was kicked out of seminary for having an affair

You guys! I thought I had published all the Ted stories. But I just found a draft of another part of the saga. What a jerk he was. Sheesh.

If you don't remember him, click on the "Ted" label below to refresh your memory. If you don't feel like reading all that, then here is a summary:

Very charming guy I met at an alumni event. Clergyman in a denomination where dating and marriage are allowed, hence trustworthy, right?

He charmed me. We slept together once. And then he ditched me, very cruelly.

So here's what happened after he ditched me (other than my discovering he had been dating the woman he married a year later all along):

I make a list of all the things I never liked about Ted anyhow. He has bad taste in movies: he thought Runaway Bride and The Matrix were great. I thought Bride was stupid and I walked out of Matrix halfway through. He has bad taste in music. The radio stations he listens to play the worst of the worst.

OK. I realize that I am defining "bad taste" as "stuff I don't like," but isn't that how everyone does it?

I remember that he was rude to his mother the time I met her. She was asking him what I thought was a perfectly innocent question and he told her curtly to drop it. This is not a nice attitude toward women. Even if your mom is a jerk, at least be nice to her in front of other people.

Mary Linda called me one night shortly after Ted stopped calling. She said, "I'm not sure I should tell you this. I asked Mary Ann what she thought and we decided you need to know."

I braced myself.

"I was talking to someone who is a family friend of [Ted's parents]. She told me that the reason Ted was kicked out of seminary was that he had had an affair. Her comment was that he leaves women in far worse condition than he found them. And that nothing is ever his fault."

I was stunned. I didn't believe it. He didn't tell me he was kicked out. He implied he had chosen to transfer to the local seminary.

He had made a big deal of the fact that he considered honesty to be the most important factor in a relationship. His whole reason for breaking things off with me was that I had been "dishonest" with him. I decided I would ask him about it and let him tell his side of the story. But he didn't call.

The coup de grace is when I find out he owns a house. I surmise that he and his ex-wife bought it and that he has it rented out now. (It's amazing what you can learn on the internet.) I drive past the house to check it out.

It is in horrible condition in a neighborhood that is obviously all rentals. I know what he paid for it and am shocked at his poor financial judgment. There are a lot of things I can forgive, but mismanaging money is not one of them. Not only did he pay a lot for an ugly house in a run down neighborhood, but the house is in disrepair, so he is not even taking care of his investment.

Hmm. Could I really have spent a lifetime with someone like that? No, nein, nyet.