Primo: Oh – I forgot to tell you. Ted and his wife sent us a wedding present. It came in the mail today.
Me: That was nice of them, especially considering I have never even met them, and, according to your dad, Ted isn’t even “part of the family.” What is it?
Primo: Well – it’s nice and it’s weird.
Primo: Here is the nice part. They sent these salad tongs from Africa.
Me: I like those!
Primo: Yeah. But Ted also sent me a cock ring.
Me: A what? What is that?
Primo: A cock ring.
Me: I have never heard of that. Is it what I think it is?
Primo: Probably. He told my dad about it before he mailed it so my dad asked me about it.
Me: What? One, Ted told your dad he was going to send you a cock ring and two, YOUR DAD IS ASKING YOU ABOUT IT?
Me: Seriously, what is wrong with these people? What did you say to your dad? I take back what I said about that being nice of them.
Primo: I shut him down. Told him I was not going to talk about that with him.
Me: Does your dad get that our sex life is none of his business?
Primo: He thinks his sex life is my business.