The Candidate's Wife: The architect who implied that Primo was racist because we did not want high-density housing replacing the church parking lot two blocks from our house is upset that Primo dropped out of the primary because he felt like Primo owed him something? Not sure

Primo: The architect? For those apartments?

Me: Yes. The one who kept telling you that high-density housing increases property values? Which is why you see so much of it in rich neighborhoods?

Primo: Yes. He is upset that I dropped out of the primary.

Me: Why? Why does he care?

Primo: He thinks I have an obligation to the voters.

Me: But - you and The Challenger agree on the issues. So it's not like the voters have lost a voice.

Primo: He thinks I should have fought it out with her.

Me: About what? You guys agree!

Primo: He said that point of a primary is to "sharpen the sword."

Me: So - did he ever give money to your campaign? Did he ever volunteer to do doors for you? Did he volunteer to phone bank for you? Did he want a yard sign? Did he share your facebook posts and ask his friends to vote for you? Did he come to any of your events?

Primo: Nope.

Me: So - he wants a sharp sword but he doesn't want to do any of the work.

Primo: Exactly.

The Candidate's Wife: Primo asks The Challenger why she didn't talk to him before she announced she was running and she says she knew he would try to talk her out of it WHICH IS TRUE

Oh yeah. I meant to post this yesterday.

So not much more to say about this. Primo and The Challenger have become friends. They now speak honestly. And he asked her why she didn't talk to him before announcing, which apparently is comme il faut, but

1. The Challenger is not a party insider and
2. She didn't know the rules and
3. Even if she had known the rules, so what? Who says that we have to abide by unspoken rules made by groups in which we are not participants?

Primo and I argue about that principle a lot. Example - he comes down hard on people who do not speak standard English.

(OK - I know the rules about standard English are not unspoken - just go with it.)

I point out that there is no intrinsic right or wrong about language.

He, the son of a snobbish English professor, insists that there is Right English and Wrong English and One Must Speak Correctly.

I say Right English is whatever is imposed by the dominant culture but that speaking non-standard English does not make someone morally corrupt.

He thinks it makes someone Wrong Wrong Wrong not to speak properly. That's one of the reasons it takes him so long to compose an email or a facebook post - he has to make sure it's perfect.

Clearly, as evidenced by this blog, I do not spend hours copyediting. (Blogger is telling me that I am spelling "copyediting" wrong.)

Language, I tell him, is just dialect with an army.

I finally convinced him.

Well, I didn't. A young woman did.

We saw a play at a local college that an African American student wrote about the African American experience. In it, she talks about how if white people can learn to pronounce names like Pfieffer and Ziegler, we can take a minute to learn how to pronounce African American names.

And - he was convinced.

So I won.

And yes - Primo would have tried to talk The Challenger out of running. She was worried she would have let him convince her. So I am glad she didn't talk to him! I am happy that Primo is out of this game.

#NotDeadYet #WaitSheIsDead

This came for Doris.

1. Doris is dead. She has been dead for three years.
2. Doris never lived at our address.
3. Companies that sell mailing lists apparently do not validate their lists against the "Deceased do not contact" list. Or - maybe they do?
4. Doris never owned a timeshare.
5. I guess timeshare owners are presumed to be unable to use the internet?
6. Keep sending junk mail, you idiots. Using paper helps the stability of my potential pension and using the USPO keeps my first-class mail rates down.

The Candidate's Wife: Primo writes a lovely letter explaining why he is withdrawing from the race and gets more accolades from that then he ever did for running, it seems

So there you go.

Not only did he withdraw from the race, he endorsed The Challenger.

"I think you would like her," he says. "She is very nice."

The Candidate's Wife: To endorse or not to endorse - Reader's Digest version because the actual transcript would bore you to tears

Me: No.

Primo: Maybe.

Me: Nononono.

Primo: Maybe.

Me: Why should you?

Primo: Party unity.

Me: Screw the party.

Primo: I know.

Me: Honestly. Why should she get your literal political capital?

Primo: Because I still want her to win the seat because it's good for my side and because after spending time with her yesterday, I like her.

Me: Uh huh.

Primo: She is really very nice.

Me: But we don't like her!

Primo: I know...

Me: BUT WE DON'T LIKE HER!

Primo: But - after talking to her, I realize she is actually very nice.

Me: And Not Running Again! And Other Political Guy Who Tweeted About Her!

Primo: I asked her about that. NRA is her neighbor. She's never even met OPG and was horrified at the idea of developing that land.

Me: She seems clueless. Her issues...

Primo: We might have been wrong about that. I asked her about the human trafficking. She said that she has been working at weddings in our district and has seen women being taken to rooms - women she knows are victims of human trafficking.

Me: I hate being wrong. Were we wrong about EVERYTHING?

Primo: I don't know. Her speeches are bad.

Me: But only because she hasn't had practice.

Primo: Yes. I was bad at first.

Me: And then you listened to me and got better.

Primo: I think I might endorse her.

Me: But we don't like her!

Primo: But maybe we do? She really is very nice.

Me: OH MAN. I HATE LOSING.

Primo: It's the right thing to do.

The Candidate's Wife: Primo meets with The Challenger and tells her he is withdrawing from the race and the angels weep

Time remaining for Primo to collect another 300 signatures for his nominating petition: Eight days but it doesn't matter because he is withdrawing from the race

Number of signatures it is reasonable to collect on a weekend day when you are not facing a primary challenger who is covering the same territory you are: 40

Number of signatures it is reasonable to collect on a weekday when you are not facing a primary challenger who is covering the same territory you are: a lot fewer than 40

The Candidate's Wife: Primo's campaign manager tells Primo that he cannot just get his name on the ballot and then not campaign

Time remaining for Primo to collect another 300 signatures for his nominating petition: Ten days 

Number of signatures it is reasonable to collect on a weekend day when you are not facing a primary challenger who is covering the same territory you are: 40

Number of signatures it is reasonable to collect on a weekday when you are not facing a primary challenger who is covering the same territory you are: a lot fewer than 40

Campaign manager: That's unethical! You can't do that!

Me: Um. This is POLITICS.

Primo: He's right.

Me: You guys do know how non-politicians see politicians, right? We think you are all lying jerks. Not you, Primo, but the generic You Politicians.

CM: Primo. You cannot just put your name on the ballot and then not campaign.

Me: But - if he campaigns for the primary, we will have to skip our vacation in July.

Primo: We can move the dates to August instead.

Me: But I don't want to go in August!

[Yes I know I am being childish.]

The Candidate's Wife: We return home and Primo goes to some political things and still doesn't decide

Time remaining for Primo to collect another 300 signatures for his nominating petition: 17 days 

Number of signatures it is reasonable to collect on a weekend day when you are not facing a primary challenger who is covering the same territory you are: 40

Number of signatures it is reasonable to collect on a weekday when you are not facing a primary challenger who is covering the same territory you are: a lot fewer than 40

Again, I offer you the Reader's Digest version and not the hours and hours and hours version.

Primo: Should I run?

Me: Well, I would be happier if you didn't, but I support you whatever you decide.

Primo: Should I?

Me: You could make sure you get on the ballot but then not campaign.

Primo: That doesn't seem right. People have donated money to my campaign. If they are going to donate, I need to do the work.

Me: Yes, I suppose so.

Primo: Should I run?

Me: I can't tell you that, sweetie.

The Candidate's Wife: And then Primo goes hiking with my brother and I DO NOT HIKE WHICH IS GREAT BECAUSE I HATE HIKING and Primo enjoys not campaigning even more

And then my brother, Primo, and I go FOR A WALK.

And there are NO POLITICS.

And Primo LIKES IT.

The Candidate's Wife: We go to my mom's for Mothers Day and Primo realizes that life without campaigning is actually kind of - nice - but he is still cranky that nobody from The Party has given The Challenger A Stern Talking To even though he knows in his heart that That Is Wrong And The Party Should Stay Out Of It

In the meantime, this happens:

Messaging to Primo, who is going to the store, as my mom is sitting right next to us:

Me: (chocolate covered strawberries)

Primo(out loud): Chocolate covered strawberries? Why are you messaging this to me?

Me: Shut. Up.

Primo: But why??

Me (glaring)

Primo: What??

Primo: Ohhhhhh!!!!!!!

The Candidate's Wife: Primo takes a week off from campaigning and collecting signatures to Think About Things and wonders if he dares disturb the universe

Time remaining for Primo to collect another 300 signatures for his nominating petition: 21 days but we are at my mom's, so the next few days can't count

Number of signatures it is reasonable to collect on a weekend day when you are not facing a primary challenger who is covering the same territory you are: 40

Number of signatures it is reasonable to collect on a weekday when you are not facing a primary challenger who is covering the same territory you are: a lot fewer than 40

Pretty much every conversation we have for an entire week:

Primo: Should I run?

Me: I can't tell you that.

Primo: I can't believe that all the people I have helped and supported over the past eight years won't fight for me.

Me: That's hard.

Primo: Should I run? I am so pissed off. I don't deserve a primary.

Me: I know. But I can't tell you that.

Primo: I don't want to do a primary. It's hard. I'm tired. I would be the only one of my political friends who would have both a primary fight and a general election fight. The ones who do have primaries don't have serious general challenges and the ones who have general challenges don't have primaries.

Me: I know.

Primo: Should I run?

The Candidate's Wife: Turns out I am an unreliable narrator, although in my defense, I did not have all the facts

So I wrote this headline last month as a reminder about the story - and now I cannot remember what I wanted to write about.

I think it was about how I have been thinking that The Challenger is such an Awful Person but she's not, really. She has a right to run. Any citizen has a right to run. Nobody owns a certain seat and nobody should feel intimidated from running for a seat just because it is somehow perceived that it is someone else's "turn."

There are no turns in politics.

There is only now and what is good for our country and the person for whom people want to vote.

Primo does not have a right to be the only candidate.

But I have been a little bit cranky about it because this was maybe going to be the year he finally won and because we have invested so much emotionally in his running.

Investing emotionally is dangerous. One of the first things you learn in business school is to ignore sunk costs, which is a fancy way of saying that only the now matters.

So take what I say about The Challenger with a grain of salt. I do not know her. I do not know her motivations. I do not know if she is good or bad or mean or nice. What I do know is that she has every right to run. Even if she and Primo do agree on things. Even if it is his turn (which it is not).

The Candidate's Wife: The Lady or the Tiger

Me: Oh. No.

Primo: What?

Me: [College roommate] posted a photo on facebook of her with [my college boyfriend]. It looks like he's wearing Birkenstocks.

Primo: So?

Me: It makes me think that perhaps, I made the right decision.

Primo: But Birkenstocks are good for people with foot problems.

Me: I don't care.

Primo: Would you rather have a man wearing Birkenstocks or a man who's a politician?

Me: Oh man. That's tough.

Blogger has not been telling me about comments!

You guys, I promise I have not ignored your comments intentionally! Blogger has not been emailing me about comments. I usually write a bunch of posts all at once and then stay away for a week or two, checking comments on hotmail.

I don't know what's going on that blogger has decided to start keeping secrets from me.

While I try to fix that, tell me what this is.

The Candidate's Wife: A big developer supporter tweets in support of The Challenger

The facts:

1. Primo has been heavily involved in state-level party politics for eight years.

2. The Challenger has not, to Primo's knowledge, ever attended a single party event in the district, in this county, or in the next county. (The district spans two counties.) Which is fine. There are no rules about who can run for office. OK, there are, but having attended events is not one of them.

3. The Big Developer Supporter is very active in state-level politics. His boss is very active. His boss spent a lot of money - $700K* - in the most recent election cycle trying to ensure development-friendly candidates were elected and, more importantly, development-unfriendly candidates were defeated.

4. Big Developer Boss has met Primo. They Do Not Agree on development.

5. There do not appear to be any intersections between BDS and BDSB and The Challenger.

Yet -

When The Challenger got a puff piece about her candidacy (more power to her - she is an excellent marketer) put in the paper, BDS tweeted it, along with a note that "Challenger is one of many bright new candidates!"

We have questions. How does BDS even know who Challenger IS? And why does he support her? BDS has been in our house for an event Primo hosted for another candidate. He knows Primo. He knows where Primo stands.

I guess he does not agree with Primo.




* When you inherit money, I guess it's like water. It seems free.