In which Doris gets angry that she and Sly are not in the wedding photos

Autumn 2008 Primo and I are married. Despite the Drama that starts with D that rhymes with T and stands for Trouble.

At the wedding, which is a quick little Lutheran ceremony* conducted at Primo's church with Father T in attendance to give it the Catholic imprimatur, my mom takes photos. Lots of photos. After the wedding, my mom takes photos. Sly and Doris have a camera. Ted has a camera. My sister has a camera. Claudia has a camera. Everyone has a camera, pretty much. Not everyone uses his camera, though.

Then we depart for the lake, where we are going to take more photos. It is a prettier backdrop than the inside of Primo's little cinderblock (but with a heart) church.

Sly and Doris ask Ted to take them back to the house. They don't want to go to the lake.

Whatever.

They don't have to go. They're grownups.

Doesn't matter that we have packed a small picnic of cheese and sausage and wine.** Doesn't matter that we thought it would be fun to show our city's beautiful lakefront to everyone.

Whatever.

Ted says OK, he'll take them.

They go to the house. We go to the lake and take more photos.

A few weeks later, my mom sends me the best shots, maybe a dozen. They are of Primo and me, either alone or with Father T and Pastor G, with my brother and sister, with Ted, with Claudia and Chloe, with my mom and Dr J, her gentleman caller.

Sly and Doris are not in any of the photos.

Because Sly and Doris 1. did not ask to be in any of the photos and 2. did not come to the lake, where most of the photos were taken.

I think they might like to have copies, even though I am in them, so I email the photos to them. They can edit me out and have Primo-only pictures.

A few days later, Primo tells me that Doris is upset that she and Sly are not in any of the pictures.

What! I exclaim.

She's really unhappy. Why aren't they in any?

Because THEY DIDN'T ASK? I suggest. Because they didn't go to the lake with us so THEY COULD DRINK INSTEAD?

I point out that not only did they not ask anyone to take a photo of them with us, but that they HAD THEIR OWN CAMERA and DID NOT TAKE A SINGLE PHOTO WITH IT.

I guess they have nobody to blame but themselves, he shrugs.

I should never have sent those photos, I fume.


* Oh how I love German efficiency. I will be a Catholic until the day I die, but Italians, they are not so concerned about Getting Things Done.

** But we didn't pack bourbon. And that's what they want. Because when they arrive at the restaurant for the wedding supper a couple hours later, we can tell they have a good head start on the drinking. How can they endure this event sober?