Tuesday, September 21, 2010

In which Doris sends us an anniversary card and threatens to send us a present

I know. I should not complain about anyone sending us presents. It is tacky, tacky, tacky to bitch about receiving gifts. Except if you have read this blog from the very beginning, you know there is a price to be paid for what we get; that is, we are expected to reciprocate with presents that are equally expensive. This might not be so bad if the presents we received were not so cheap and ugly and tasteless, but Doris does not send us anything we would ever want.

Yesterday, Primo showed me the anniversary card his mother had sent. It was one of those fulsomely sentimental cards that I abhor, but tomato, tomahto, etc. I got Primo a card that showed two penguins on front and said "Happy anniversary to us" on the inside. Except of course the penguins were (between Primo and me) a reference to that Monty Python skit and the message I wrote was that he still had to wait 48 years to mess with my bellybutton. Sweetly sentimental I am not.

He showed me the card. I glanced at it and acknowledged that it was indeed nice of his mother to send it.

"Why don't I put this here on the kitchen counter with the card you gave me so you can see it all the time?" Primo suggested.

"Oh honey, no. It needs to be in your office so you can have the pleasure!" I answered.

"Maybe on your dresser?" he asked.

"Sweetness, you really deserve to have a constant reminder of your parents' affection next to you! I can't be selfish and keep it all to myself!"

I won.

The card disappeared into his office upstairs, never to be seen again.

He spoke to his parents yesterday because he didn't call on Sunday, his usual We'll Feel Abandoned if You Don't Talk to Us Every Week call.

On the card, Doris had written than she was not sending us an anniversary gift because she had not been inspired and I must agree that the pressed board Chinese nesting tables with the hummingbirds and hibiscus painted on them that she sent us last year were indeed inspired. Satan is at work, even today.

But when Primo spoke to her yesterday, she said that she had found something after all and we would be getting something soon.


What can top Chinese pressed board nesting tables with hummingbirds and hibiscus, a framed photo of Sly and Doris, and a cast iron cat?

We will find out soon.


  1. Some sort of animal preserved via taxidermy?

  2. Gifts are highly overrated. Don't expect to like it; just be gracious, thank them, and stick it in the basement. (Remember, your goal is to make your SH happy.)

  3. Jen, no! Ceramic frogs are the height of good taste and of course cast-iron animals are the perfect gift for someone who has flown to visit you, but an actual animal? That would be environmentally wrong.

    Lindy, you are right. I need to remember that this is very stressful for Primo. He is caught in the middle.


Primo reads this blog, so please keep that in mind in your comments.