Primo is all stressed because he is pretty sure that Bertha has not been keeping track of the divorce decree, even though she graduated from college with honors (with a major of dubious academic integrity, though) (at Primo's expense). The alimony ended this month. Done. Finito. No more. No more money leaving our checking account every month to go to her.
If you get divorced, get a lawyer. Don't have a mediated divorce. A lawyer will tell you that your alimony obligation is 17% of your income. Not 35%. Plus cobra.
After five years, we are done.
But Bertha probably doesn't realize that.
Primo was going to tell her earlier this month, but she was on vacation in Hawaii for two weeks.
Think about that.
Anyhow, he wants - well, feels he should - to call her to advise her that she has gotten her last check.
And he is dreading that call.
He has already had to deal with family issues. Doris is trying to find out what I want for my birthday.
What I want most is for her not to do anything for my birthday.
So what she really wants is not what I want but what she wants.
What she wants is to give me something that she likes, not what I like. Because if she wanted to give me what I like, she would not take offense when Primo tells her that no, I probably wouldn't like another vase hand-painted with purple flowers and butterflies. Or a scarf. Because I already have 20 scarves. (Everyone gives me scarves. Well, my sister and my friend Lenore.)
I told Primo to suggest that she give us a gift certificate to the theater, as there is a Johnny Cash play we want to see this spring but is a bit out of our budget.
"She won't want to do that," he said. "She doesn't understand buying experiences rather than things."
I did some research on the two scarf options she had presented.
"Then tell her to get scarf #1 because I can return it for cash. Scarf #2 they'll only let me exchange it for something else in their catalogue."
Sigh. She's going to send something that I don't want. I will have to go to the PO to send it back. Money will be wasted.