After Primo has spent 20 minutes going through everything in the freezer to figure out what we have and what we don't. I keep a spreadsheet, but apparently, I haven't been keeping up with it, as the Usinger's back bacon was nowhere to be found. Primo gets all verklumpt if I try to find something down there, as he has A System for storage. He does not like me to mess with his System.
His System for his office is Stacks of Paper.
He has a Leaning Tower of Visa, with all his credit card receipts for the past decade.
What we discovered as he was pulling everything out, inspecting it, and putting it back - despite my protests that he should toss out the smoked turkey skin from his friend D's party THREE YEARS AGO - "I have to look at it!" he protested.
"Look at it now!" I said. He had it IN HIS HAND. Look! Look!
"Not now," he said. "Later."
Later never comes.
Anyhow - we found a bunch of sausage that we got from the Klement's bargain table WITH A GROUPON - so double savings. I knew the sausage was in there because it was in my spreadsheet.
I also knew that I didn't like it.
They might actually be relations. My mom saw that my dad's grandmother's sister married a Klement but we don't know if it's the same Klement. It looks like it is, though. Not that it would be a big deal. I am already related to a sausagemaker - my uncle Larry - and his sausage has spoiled me for all other sausage. His is so yummy and lean that I can't stomach commercial sausage.
And blesstheirhearts, Klement's makes commercial sausage. So even though we got a deal on all the sausage, it's not a deal if you don't like it.
I suggested to Primo that we could give the sausage away.
He was doubtful. "Where do you donate sausage?" he asked.
I didn't know.
Then he had an idea. "We could serve it at a campaign event!"
"Great idea!" I said.
"But that would mean I would have to run again."
"Not a chance."
So we're stuck with the sausage.