In which Primo is Not Doing It Right with facebook

Doris somehow found Primo's facebook page. They are not facebook friends, but she somehow saw something he posted, showed it and his page to Sly, and then they together wrote an email to Primo telling him he was doing it all wrong, "it" being his facebook profile.

1. Why is Primo not facebook friends with his own mother?

Do I really need to answer that question?

2. What could someone possibly find to criticize about someone's facebook profile?

Oh LOTS!

While I wait for Primo to forward the actual email to me (if I had been in with S&D, they would have BCC'd me on their note to Primo. There is no criticism that is not good enough to share), I will summarize for you what they said.

1. His anniversary date is wrong.

Indeed it is. I put in a fake anniversary date because really, the internet does not need to know my anniversary date.

2. His hometown is wrong. That is, he put the place he lived his entire childhood until he went to college instead of the place he was born. He was born in Cambridge but grew up in - let's say Cincinnati, which is not where he grew up, but as you know, I try to change identifying details as much as possible on this blog. If Sly and Doris ever stumbled across it, I am sure they would think to themselves, "Wow. And we thought we were the only ones with a gold-digging daughter in law who eats bacon wrong! I guess we are on the right side of history because this bad bacon eating, bad cabbage using, bad envelope addressing DIL problem seems to be ubiquitous!"

So Primo put Cincinnati as his hometown instead of Cambridge. He's not doing it right!

3. He doesn't have Ted listed as his brother. He doesn't have Jack listed as his brother. He doesn't have Sly and Doris listed as his parents. How can he deny his family like that? Does he hate them? Is he ashamed of them? He is a Bad Son!

The actual email:

We got to your FACEBOOK page because of your email on [political figure].  We assume you are in [city] for Sam's birthday because of your post about [place].  Your dad doesn't "do" anything "facebook" but he did read through some of your information.  Strange that you don't  list your wife, parents or half-brothers as family members.

Your bio should also mention that you were born in [birthplace].  You also have January 1 listed as your anniversary (?).

Deconstruction:

1. What is the difference between "do" "facebook" and do facebook?
2. His wife is listed, but his wife has blocked Doris, so his wife's name will never show to Doris.
3. Always always always the "half" brother distinction. Now, I wouldn't want to claim Ted either, but is it necessary to qualify?