You guys, I have the nicest, smartest readers in the world. A few of you have already warned me when you have come across identifying details about Primo and where we live. One of you today - hello Erik from Ask a Manager! - figured out exactly who Primo is.
I am not as sneaky as I thought I was and you guys are smart.
Although I don't think what I write about Primo's campaign could be damaging - those who are in the know know that he is not going to win, even if the incumbent were to be caught in bed with a live boy or a dead girl, I wouldn't want to embarrass him or anyone on his campaign team.
Still, I am torn. Can you imagine what it would do for my readership for this blog to be exposed? What if I could get a book deal out of it? Primo says I should re-name the blog "The Candidate's Wife." If someone wanted to pay me big bucks to write about a campaign from the spouse's POV - the spouse who does not want to be in the political world and the spouse who does not agree with the candidate on all the issues, then I would happily take the money and run.
I would also happily take the money to write a book about Sly and Doris. Indeed, I already have, although I had to have a fictional somewhat happy ending because who wants to read a book about the reality of mean inlaws? We want redemption or the possibility of redemption in what we read. I do, anyhow.
But there is no scandal in Primo's campaign, alas. No sex. No bribery. No prostitutes. No texted photos of naughty bits. No lavish parties. No gifts from donors. (There have to be donors.) I would like some lavish gifts. I want a new purse. This one. (It's even made in the US!)
Where is that guy who was so good to the governor of Virginia? Tell him to call me. We could use a new car, too. We have two cars, but one of them is a '65 Corvair that I have no interest in driving and that can't leave the garage when it is raining.
No pregnant volunteers and no lying about who the daddy is. I don't have cancer. Neither of us get $400 haircuts. We both go to Carol and she charges $21. We tip $5 and give a bigger Christmas tip. Plus she is our friend.
Dang. I realize that we are doing this all wrong. If I want a book deal, I have to write about something more interesting than the fact that Primo copy-edits what his social media coordinator posts on facebook.
I decided it is not prudent to post about the campaign before the election. After the election, nobody will care. I will post then. I might have some innocuous posts before November. If I mess up and leave in the name of the district or a coffeeshop that is found only in this city, please let me know! I appreciate you all looking out for me.