Tuesday, August 9, 2016

In which more readers discover my IRL identity but this time, nobody tries to out me to people who could cause me trouble

Remember how I had to shut the blog down last summer? It was because someone had figured out who I was and thought it would be a great idea to post something on Doris' online funeral announcement.

You know - the announcement that Sly, Ted, and the rest of the family would be reading?

Yes. This jerk wrote something about his/her condolences and said something about having learned about Doris on the blog Diary of a Gold Digger.


I hope you have a rash on your face and an itch everywhere else that won't go away, jerk who posted.

I had to shut the blog down while Primo tried to figure out how to get the comment removed from the obituary before Sly saw it and started asking questions.

Sly never did see it, but my lovely sister in law, Stephanie, whom I LOVE and would not hurt for anything, did see it and asked about it. I had to lie. I had to lie to someone I love and whose respect I want. Not because there is anything written here that would hurt Stephanie because there is nothing ugly to say about Stephanie, but because I could not have Sly find this blog and do something nasty to Primo in retaliation, like disinherit him or make him wipe his ass.

Oh. Wait.

The only reason I have ever kept my identity a secret on this blog is because of the possible repercussions for Primo from Sly and Doris. After all, with my other blog, where I didn't even talk about them, they told Primo not to marry me and threatened to boycott our wedding, which, to this day, I wish they had done. I did not need mean drunk people at my wedding.

Now they are dead. Now I don't care. No, I have not identified myself here by name, but my friends know about this blog. My mom knows it exists but she does not read it. I would not be comfortable with her reading it because there are some things on here a mom probably does not want to know. However, there is nothing ugly about my mom on this blog because there is nothing ugly to say about my mother. My mother is a lovely person and I am lucky to have her.

Now. To the point. I have discovered - and this is cracking me up - that there are several of you who have figured out my identity. I am proud to have such smart readers. :) And I am laughing because this new discovery reinforces an idea I have held for a long time - that there is almost no stronger force than the human desire To Know. (Witness Adam and Eve.)

You guys are fabulous!

I told Primo about it.

Me: These readers have figured out who I am and who you are. One of them wrote that she hates Ted. That means I have conveyed him accurately. (She also said you are a hottie, which you are.)

Primo: Wow.

Me: Do you care if Ted would find this blog? We didn't want your mom and dad finding it, but do you care if Ted finds it?

Primo: I don't need anything from him.

Me: Nope.

Primo: He needs me. Although he doesn't seem to get that.

Me: Nope.

Primo: I don't care if he knows what you think about him. I don't want anything to do with him.

And then we fell silent, dreaming of a day when we would not be wondering what jerkiness Ted was planning next and when Ted would be completely out of our lives.


  1. OK, I'll 'fess up. I figured out who you were last year, but I would never out you. (I do genealogical research, what can I say? The need to know is part of my DNA.) Thanks for letting us know why the blog shut down last summer. (I was so bereft I signed up.) I'm really sorry that in such a stressful time, someone who was Not Ted was a supreme jerk & did that hurtful thing. Who does that?!

  2. I figured out who you are through figuring out Primo's identity a few years ago. Yes, the Need to Know is strong. I'm sorry someone made your life more difficult in an already difficult time!

    Now that you've determined that you don't care what Ted thinks, get that book published!

  3. You guys are cracking me up! I KNEW I had super smart readers. :) If I ever interview for a job with you, you're not going to hold this blog against me, are you?

    1. Are you kidding? I would hire you in a second! If you can put up with Ted and Sly without smothering them in their sleep, you would be a rock star in consulting. You would be able to handle the WORST clients with total aplomb...at least to their faces! :D

  4. Ha Ha! I was feeling slightly guilty and stalker-ish for exploring. Knowing I'm not the only one makes me feel better. Last year sometime I found Primo, but I've actually forgotten your real names. I guess I could go back and find you again but as long as you're still here writing, I'm pretty good. You can have a job with me anytime.

  5. what annonymous said... I think you are wise to stay incognito and that too many people are too public.

    if honesty hurts, perhaps one should look a little closer at how the world sees one ... ted.

  6. Yup totally gave in to the urge right after I found your blog on AAM. Also completely forgot your names lol. I've got the memory skills of a goldfish. If I remembered and you cared to join the lovely world of retail I'd get you hired, you'd be hilarious to work with.

  7. I worked out who Primo is last year but not you :) Can't imagine outing anyone though - must have been an "I'm so clever, look at meeeeee" situation. Jo xx

  8. I came here from your comments on Miss Manners (where you confused me at first by having 3 different identities). You led me to AAM and LPC. Can't remember what made me curious enough to follow the clues, but the 3 identities and Primo's running for office helped me figure it out. :-)


  9. I confess I figured it out maybe a year and a half ago, looked you up then "oh that's cool." Then promptly forgot all the info and I couldn't find you again if my life depended on it. But if you're in Colorado again say hi!

  10. Clearly, I can never have a job working undercover. :)

  11. I can't remember when I discovered who you guys were, but I know it was around the time of you first mentioned the run for political office. I'm a researcher by trade, so... :-D

  12. I can't believe someone tried to "out" you, especially when it would have hurt people. And yeah, I figured it out a while back, just to see if I could. I mean, after all, we already feel like we know you! (but, like everyone else posted, I can't remember anymore!) Rock on with your secret self!

  13. Now I feel like im the only one who hasnt figured u out :( in my defense im not from ur continent, and our political system and indeed geographical division is soo so different! Ive been pulling my hair out trying to figure out the differences between ur counties and states and districts and ohh too much stress!! I hope I do find out one day. I just wanna put a face to the name :)


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