Primo: I got vaseline on my pants!
Primo: I was at Sandy's house and she wasn't home but one of her [Senate candidate's] signs was crooked so I straightened it out for her.
Primo: And she had put vaseline on it because there have been some sign-stealing incidents on her street!
Me: That's what you get for meddling with someone else's business.
Primo: I wasn't meddling! I was trying to help! I was doing the right thing!
Me: And you are not seeing a problem with this?
Primo: It was the right thing to do!
Me: Uh huh.
Primo: Will you clean the stain off my pants?
Me: No, but I will tell you how to do it.
Primo: No! I want you to do it!
Me: That's OK. I'll just tell you.
Primo: But - but - I don't have time! I'm busy!
Me: Oh, and I didn't spend all day working?
Primo: But you already know how to do it!
Primo: And you're already good at it!
Me: All you need is practice.
Primo: But - but - but - it's not something I should need to know how to do. It happens so rarely.
Primo: It's your telling me I need to learn how to bake an apple pie. You're already so good at it that there's no reason for me to learn how.
Me: Now you are advocating for division of labor and specialization?
Me: Kind of ironic that the only time you are in favor of free market policies is when they benefit you.