Me: You don’t talk much about your sister.
Primo: It’s hard. She was not easy.
Me: What do you mean?
Primo: When we were little, she was really fun. She was very
smart and very creative and very funny. But after I left for college, she
changed. My parents started having a lot of problems with her. They never did
get a good diagnosis, although they think she had borderline personality
disorder.
Me: What’s that?
Primo: It makes someone really sensitive. My mom said it was
like Nancy didn’t have any skin. Anything would hurt her feelings and she would
lash out. My mom thought she needed treatment and my dad thought she still
needed to be held accountable for her actions.
Me: Could she control her actions?
Primo: Yes. One time, she flipped off a cop – but she was in
the back of a bus and she waited until it had pulled away from the stop so the
cop couldn’t get her. She knew exactly what she was doing.
Me: What happened to her? I know she died of a heroin
overdose. But before that?
Primo: My parents had her committed once and that made her
furious. They took her to doctors, but there is not really any way to cure BPD.
She started taking drugs. I didn’t even want to go home to visit. Anytime I
came home, Nancy – she didn’t drive – would want me to drive her to get drugs
and alcohol. And then she would want me to sit in her room with her and listen to
this awful heavy metal music. I dreaded seeing her, but I felt so sorry for my
parents having to deal with her all the time.
Me: Did she work?
Primo: No. She couldn’t keep a job. She was on disability.
She was supposed to move to Florida with my mom and dad – that’s why they got a
four-bedroom house, but she died before that. Trying to take care of Nancy just
about killed my mom. And since she died, my parents have not been the same.
Heart-wrenching. Mental illness can often be as difficult for the family members as it is for the individual. It sounds like Primo did a better job of coping with it than his parents did. Hug to Primo.
ReplyDeleteHeart-breaking story, and the simplicity of its telling makes it all the more affecting.
ReplyDelete