I write a thank-you note to Sly and Doris because my mama raised me right. Not because I am truly grateful for the visit. I am not. They were not nice to me. They were not welcoming. But they are the parents of my boyfriend and someday husband, so I need to be on good terms with them.
And it is a pain in the neck to have people in your house, even if you are not going to be nice to them. You still have to clean the bathroom and put sheets on the guest bed and have food.
But. Thank you note. Required. Just because they were rude does not mean I have to be. They go low, you go high.
I send a thank you note. The good kind – in the mail.
Primo: My mom and dad don’t like your thank-you note.
Me: What’s not to like about a thank you note?
Primo: You addressed the envelope wrong.
Me: But they got it, right?
Me: So what was not right about it?
Primo: You addressed it to “Drunk” instead of “Mr. and Mrs. Sly Drunk.”
Primo: They think you are not doing it right. They were insulted. They said you were being disrespectful.
Me: Did they notice that my return address was my last name only? That I did not include my first name?
Primo: That’s not the point. They were insulted.
Me: I wasn’t trying to insult them. I am lazy.
Me: Tell them to bite me. I address letters to my mother that way and I love my mother. I was not singling them out in any way.