Ch 5 Christmas day Primo and I argue about visiting his parents and I learn about the power of co-dependency

Me: Why do you even visit them? It’s nothing but drama. All they do is fight and all you do is their chores. It’s not unreasonable of them to want to see you, but it is unreasonable of them to save all their chores for you and to make your visits so miserable.

Primo: I feel sorry for my mother. My dad can be a real jerk. She doesn’t have any friends – she doesn’t even have Joan anymore. She’s old, she’s broken down, she’s worn out. She has nothing in her life. Nancy took everything out of her. She’s had a really hard life. My dad doesn’t ever want to go anywhere and he doesn’t want her to go out without him.

Me: But your mom can be really nasty. That whole thing with Joan? Wanting to ram a stick up her ass? That was vicious.

Primo: I know. I promise you that is not what my mom used to be like. My dad has made her so mean. And she is scared of my dad. She has nowhere to go – she has to stay in his good graces. Before Nancy died, she was the nicest person in the world. But Nancy's death and my dad’s meanness have turned her vicious. She is so angry at everything.

Me: Yeah, that’s pretty clear.

Primo: I feel guilty that I didn’t help when Nancy was alive. I feel like I owe them something now.