Primo: My mom doesn’t like how you answered her email about
your grandmother.
Me: What? What doesn’t she like? I was very cordial.
Primo: She says you didn’t answer her properly.
Me: Ummm… How does one properly respond to a sympathy note?
Primo: I don’t know.
Me: Let me send you the whole chain. I want your opinion.
Primo (reading): I don't know
what she's talking about. Your answers look just fine to me.
I thought Doris' note to you was weird to begin with. It was nice of her to write to you about your grandmother's death, but almost her entire message was about HER grandmother rather than about YOUR loss. Now (well, then, but you know what I mean) she's apparently miffed that you didn't respond by talking, once again, about HER issues. That's not how it works: when your loved one dies, the focus should be YOU.
ReplyDeleteI've read that in another comment, but I somewhat disagree. I think Doris's note was nice (for once!). She doesn't know Goldie's grandmother, so there isn't much to say there, but she shares something personal instead, a good memory that will probably evoque other good memories in Goldie. It's the next best thing, short of actually knowing something about the deceased person...
DeleteThen again, I have never yet had to write a condolence note, nor to receive one. I'm not sure what makes a 'good' one.