Primo: Guess who was on my email list from my first campaign six years ago?
Me: Who?
Primo: Guess!
Me: I don't know!
Primo: Ted!
Me: Ted who?
Primo: Ted my brother!
Me: Oh man.
Primo: He gave me money! Fifty dollars!
Me: Good.
Primo: I think it's time to bury the hatchet.
Me: Are you nuts?
Primo: That's a meaningful gesture!
Me: No. A meaningful gesture is an apology for being a jerk.
Primo: He's a Drunk. This is about as meaningful as someone related to my dad can get.
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With people who have no respect for boundaries, it takes a lot more than one gesture to prove they have had a change of heart. The gestures are usually a form of manipulation when their more aggressive forms of manipulation don't work any longer.
ReplyDeleteThink of it like this: if a spouse cheats on you, repeatedly, or a drug addict says they've stopped using, you're not going to trust them again, or at least not right away. They'll have to prove themselves day in and day out by doing the right thing, for a very long time, to prove they're not just doing it to avoid consequences from you, but that they really mean it.