Primo is going to a big political deal tonight, the Polka Dot Formal, where the mayor and all the Polka Dot Bigwigs will be hanging out. It's the big annual Prom for the Polka Dots, the event they look forward to every year, hoping that special someone will ask them out. My friend Jen asked if Primo will be getting his photo taken under the balloon arch with the Important People. My gosh, I hope so. I want this all to have been worth it.
He told me about it the other day. "I could meet some really important people," he said.
"But my sister and her boyfriend will be visiting!" I protested.
"It could help me in the campaign."
"The thing is, it costs $125."
I looked at him.
And looked at him.
"Do you know what kind of shoes I could get for $125?"
"I could get one or two good contacts out of it."
"Just one or two? That's $60 to $125 per contact!"
"Actually, $62.50," he corrected.
I glared at him.
"The Political Wife said she might be able to get me a free ticket."
"Fine. If you can go for free, then go. But I don't think it's worth it to spend that much money on one or two contacts. Ten dollars a contact, fine. Sixty? No."
For those of you in big cities, you might think, "One hundred twenty five dollars? That's it? That's a swanky, expensive event? That's what it costs to get access to the top political figures?
Know that our city is a thrifty city. We may be the only city in the United States that ran a surplus yes that is correct a surplus during the Depression. These people, my people, do not waste. We are not big spenders. We hold onto a penny. We hate to see money leave our hands. Even politicians are reluctant to spend. Not as reluctant as other people because they are after all politicians but reluctant.
Last night, after my sister and her boyfriend, who is a keeper - if she breaks up with this one, the very first one I have ever liked, I will cry, arrived, and we were eating the Pinter's steak that as usual, Primo had prepared to absolute perfection, Primo said that the Political Wife had indeed come through with the free ticket.
"Will you be needing arm candy?" The Boyfriend, who henceforth shall be known as Matt, asked.
"He'll have the Political Wife," I said.
"Does that concern you?" my sister asked me.
"She doesn't need to worry," Primo assured her. "Political Wife loves her husband."
I turned to him and raised my eyebrows. "That," I said, "was not the right answer."