Saturday, August 30, 2014

In which we find someone who can be in solidarity with Sly in his anger at my bad bacon eating and I wonder if Sly can go to therapy to deal with my bad bacon eating

I saw this on slate.com and thought of Sly immediately:

Q. Ice Cream: My brother eats the strawberry and chocolate part of the Neapolitan ice cream and only leaves the vanilla part. He does it despite our protests. I’m devastated and have received counseling for this. Is there a civil way to stop him?
A: Your brother is dope. My grandparents used to get Neapolitan ice cream and the way you eat it is to devour the chocolate, then toss the telltale vanilla and strawberry mounds until all is even. As much as you may have needed therapy for this situation, consider that if you buy a couple of quarts of chocolate it might divert your brother from the Neapolitan. But if that doesn’t work, try to stay civil while you explore the possibility of a civil suit.

Perhaps I can send this link to him and recommend that he seek counseling for his problem with how I eat bacon. Blesshisheart.

2 comments:

  1. With a shout out to google as I had to go back and refresh the bacon bits. They gave me 4 pieces, more than I ever dreamed. Now the bicycle "prove herself" dig comes together as well. Goldie, you've got these people put together, you don't need any help, I envy that. What I love is that I, me, have to take medication and go to therapy against people like this. They, on the other hand, can stay as they are. I tell myself the same thing I'd say to the Neapolitan sibling: don't let them know they're bothering you. The payoff for Neapolitan/bacon abusers is watching what you do next. Give them nothing. That'll be $200 for the session, thank you.

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    Replies
    1. Don't you hate mean people who get away with it? I'm sorry you have to deal with such people. It can be really hard. I am lucky I almost never see Sly and Doris - it makes it a lot easier.

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