Primo: I found a sex diary on my dad's desk, mixed in with all kinds of other papers.
Me: A WHAT?
Primo: I looked at long enough to make sure he was writing about sex with my mom and not with anyone else, then I put it in drawer with nude pictures.
Me: Oh man.
Primo: I did read one gross part. Nancy had a waterbed when she lived with them. He wrote about having sex with my mom on the waterbed when Nancy wasn't at home.
Me: How did you find it?
Primo: I was looking for information about a safe deposit box. There are documents and lists about a safe deposit box - a list that says passports, car title, and things like that, but I have found those documents, so I don't even know if there is a safe deposit box.
Me: You laugh at how much I think about worst-case scenarios, but this kind of stuff would never happen with me. Or with my mom. I have my mom's safe-deposit box key! I have her papers! I have her will!
Primo: I don't even know if there is one. My dad never mentioned one.
Me: But why? Why didn't he tell you these things?
Primo: My dad didn't think he was going to die
Me: He thought he was immortal? Did he think he was Jesus Christ?
Primo: I don't know. Shouldn't we have a sex diary? I wonder if my mom knew about the diary. Did they do it together?