Sunday, May 15, 2016

In which Sam and Sam's brother tell Primo to resign as trustee but he won't and we are waiting with bated breath for Ted's next action

Primo and I went to visit Sam and his wife (let's call her Julie) over New Year's. Sam and Primo have known each other since the week before we all started college - they met on the plane from Pittsburgh to Houston.

Sam's brother, who was my next-door dorm neighbor my freshman year, is now the general counsel for an F50 (hang on - checking) F150 company and who, along with Sam, is an experienced, qualified lawyer and who, along with Sam,served as executor and trustee for their great-aunt's estate, their grandmother's estate, and their dad's estate, along with Sam, both told Primo TO RESIGN AS TRUSTEE.

"GET OUT!" they are telling him.

Primo is not sure.


TedsWife sent Primo another email asking for money.

Primo had said Ted and TedsWife needed to send proof of the expenses - invoices from TedsSon's school, etc.

When you submit an expense report at work, do they take you at your word?

No they do not. You have to say the number. You have to give the proof.

Ted and TedsWife seem to think that if they just tell Primo enough times that he needs to give them money, he will do it.

Primo is not going to do it. Not without proof.


  1. I am skeptic has to wonder what the son's situation really is. It's not that hard to send a copy of a bill. I wouldn't even send money directly to Ted and wife without proof they have actually paid. I would insist to pay the school/doctor/therapist etc. directly.

  2. Is Primo afraid a lawyer won't manage the trust with as much care as he would? How much time will he have to administer the trust in the future? This will go on for years! Ted will continue to be a pain and cause a lot of grief. When Primo goes back to work, whatever & whenever that may be, I doubt he'll want to spend his free time responding to Ted's obnoxious emails. He deserves a life!
    If Sly had appointed Primo as the guardian of the trust, and allowed him to be paid for his diligence, I would say that was a sign of Sly's respect and trust. (Which would have been well placed, IMO.) But Sly being Sly, he gave him the job and said he couldn't be paid, thus pitting Primo and Ted against each other for years to come and ensuring discord and suffering. Don't let the old b*** win, Primo - you can manage the trust for your nieces and nephews with a lawyer as your firewall between you and Ted!

  3. If he insists on doing it himself, what about sending them an email (or better yet, a certified letter, paid for by the estate) that any requests for expenses that do not include proper documentation as spelled out in the trust documents will be ignored. It sounds and feels a bit confrontational, but really, is it any worse than constantly having to tell them no and explain yourself for the eleventeenth time?

    1. Of course, there's the copy and paste message route. That takes up little to no time.

      "I am still waiting on the documentation from you for this request. I cannot proceed until you have provided the supporting documentation for these expenses."

      - AC

  4. I smell a rat. As pushy and annoying as Ted is, and as profoundly handicapped as Ted's son would seem to be, I suspect that while the son IS being educated at a private school, there is a high likelihood that the fees are being paid by the local school district, since they cannot (or cannot according to Ted) meet the child's needs. (This can be a thing, and it is frequently cheaper to do what the lawyered up parents demand than fight it and risk loss plus both side's attorney's fees, even if it is unnecessary or unjust to the school district.) Please, DO press for evidence that Ted's son's fees have been paid, and by TED and Ted's wife, not just "paid."

    1. I agree that the school district could be paying at least some of these expenses. In my state the district has to pay if they can not satisfy the educational needs of the student. And this may go till 21.

  5. "We sent you a box of pears at Christmas, now you send us money. That's how it works!"