Wednesday, November 16, 2016

In which Smithsonian magazine will not stop sending us stuff for Doris, even though Primo called them a year ago to tell them she had died and to remove her from their list and even though I have emailed them several times since then to tell them that she is still dead

Fw: Doris Smithsonian mailings - she is still dead (No subject)
Tue 4:36 PM
Doris has not come back from the dead. She is still dead. Still ashes. Still not ordering product. It is safe to say, I think, that she will never order from you again. If you wish to keep wasting money by sending your catalog to her at my address, that's up to you, but I do not buy stuff.


From: golddigger
Sent: Thursday, April 7, 2016 11:36 AM
Subject: FW: Doris Smithsonian mailings
Hi. Doris is still dead. :)

Please remove her from all your mailing lists.


Subject: RE: Doris subscription <<#2209211-#>>
Date: Wed, 28 Oct 2015 17:22:50 -0400

Thank you for contacting Smithsonian.
I'm happy to help you.
We're sorry to hear that you wish to cancel your subscription, however we have canceled your subscription as requested.
We are processing a refund of $39.00 for the unmailed issues. Please allow three to four weeks to receive the refund.  
Because our mailing labels are preprinted, you may receive one or two more issues. Please discard them or share them with a friend. Again, we are sorry that you are canceling and hope that you will consider ordering with us in the future.
We appreciate this opportunity to be of service.
Thank you for supporting Smithsonian.

--- Original Message ---
From: golddigger
10/24/15 6:32:06 PM EDT
To: ""
Subject: Doris subscription

Please cancel Doris' subscription to Smithsonian magazine. She died in May.

You have her in your system now as
[golddigger's address, because of course they continued to send her stuff despite Primo's call and when Primo put in the address change for Sly and Doris to direct their mail to our house, although the water bill did not get sent to us because that cannot be forwarded, every single piece of junk mail has made it our way because they all get the address change notification.]


------ Please do not remove your unique tracking number! ------
<< #2209211-#>>


  1. Public shaming on twitter can be effective for times like this (if it is still ongoing.

  2. I've found that calling and speaking to a person and telling them that getting continued mailings for the dead person is upsetting tends to work.

  3. My dad died 17 years ago. He never lived at our address, but my mother, who went by Mrs. His Name, of course, did for a brief time. I get Alfred Dunner catalogs for my dad all. the. time. My alma mater, to whom my mother ONCE donated a small amount of money (I graduated in 1982)sent her requests for donations for 8 years. I eventually called the PRESIDENT of the university and spoke with his admin, and that's how I got the solicitations turned off.

  4. Well, Smithsonian is a great magazine. You might consider reading them until they get tired of Doris not paying.

  5. No one understands all the areas that customer service covers. Do not tick of potential customers.

  6. C: ''E's passed on! This parrot is no more! He has ceased to be! 'E's expired and gone to meet 'is maker! 'E's a stiff! Bereft of life, 'e rests in peace! If you hadn't nailed 'im to the perch 'e'd be pushing up the daisies! 'Is metabolic processes are now 'istory! 'E's off the twig! 'E's kicked the bucket, 'e's shuffled off 'is mortal coil, run down the curtain and joined the bleedin' choir invisibile!!He's f*ckin' snuffed it!..... THIS IS AN EX-PARROT!!

  7. If it happens again, tell them that if they don't believe you, you'd be happy to mail them a sample of Doris' ashes!

    (Too morbid? My parents both would have loved that joke.)

    1. Ha! I would totally do that, but Doris and I never got along.

    2. Yeah, that would make it seem kind of mean. I'd probably do it with my dad's ashes, he is the one from which I inherited my congenital lack of shame. I at least learned that certain things embarrass *other* people, though, and try to avoid those situations.


Sorry about the new commenting requirements - I have been getting spammed like crazy.