My uncle died. He was 81. We went to the memorial service, which was a fish fry at my aunt and uncle's lake place. There were about 150 people there. There was a ton of food - my cousins fried fish and got some BBQ and then of course people brought food.
The only formal aspect of the event, which lasted all afternoon (because it takes a while to eat all those rhubarb bars)(the event, not the formal part), was when my cousin's husband spoke, reading the stories that my eight cousins had written about their father.
Not one single story started with, "He could be difficult." Instead, they all mentioned what a happy person my uncle was and how much he loved his family.
It was what a memorial service should be.