I know.
I laughed, too, when Primo proposed this. Primo is so sincere and honest and will bend over backwards to help his friends.
Ted is a jerk.
If Primo tells Ted that Ted has upset Primo with all the jerky things Ted has done, Ted will, I guarantee, get super defensive and will then attack Primo.
Although if this happens, maybe it would make it easier for Primo to shake the dust off his shoes about Ted. I am fine with Ted never being a part of our lives again.
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Captain Awkward tells us that there are two possible outcomes when we tell someone, "you're being a jerk in these specific ways, and I need you to stop." First, they might say, "Oh my goodness, I had no idea that upset you in that way, I'm very sorry" AND THEN THEY STOP - this person is a good person and you can still hang with them. Outcome number two involves a lot of "What? You don't know what you're talking about!" and "That never happened!" and "You're just trying to take the blame off that time you...." kind of stuff, and that is a person who will continue to engage you, but is a person CA readers (of which excellent society I believe you belong?) have been taught to recognize as a Giant Douche. Hopefully, if Ted does formally display his candidacy for the Giant Douche title, you can help Primo recognize that this means his brother, whom he wishes could be a Good Brother, is actually a person to be avoided, even though "But, Family! Responsibility!" etc.
ReplyDeletetl;dr
Let him write a letter or something. Maybe he needs to say it, and actually see his brother respond to "you're hurting me" with more of the same so that he can finally put his brother in some mental Lost Cause box and move on.
Convo, I read this comment to Primo. He laughed and asked, "We don't know anyone who's a Giant Douche, do we?"
DeleteI think Ted may qualify as the leader of the Giant Douche Party...
DeleteSo we can call him "Il Douche"! XD