Ch 12 Sly and Doris think we are asking if the date is convenient for them, not that we are informing them of a fact that is immutable

We find a date that works for my sister and Pastor Gail, the pastor at Primo’s little Lutheran church, and Father Joe, the priest at my church.

Finding space is a little harder. Turns out you don’t throw a wedding on a dime, at least not a wedding at a church on a Saturday.

What the heck. We’ll do it on Friday instead. My church is not available on any of the dates that work for Jenny, but Primo’s is, so we settle on 2 p.m. on October 3 at his little Lutheran church.

I eavesdrop as he talks to Sly and Doris. I always try to imagine the other side of the conversation – what new thing have they found not to like about me?

I look at the dining room. No table in the dining room because there is no room for the table. The dining room is full of boxes. Where am I going to feed people if I don’t have a table?

Of course, the real answer to this question of “Where will people eat?” should be, “I guess they will take care of feeding themselves because this is a wedding, not a house party.” My mother has already tried to warn me, but, as usual, I ignore her. Ignoring her will probably also be,[1] as usual, to my peril.

Primo: We’ve picked a date.

Primo: October.

Primo: October third.

Primo: Yes, that’s about three months from now.

Primo: Yes I’m sure I want to do this.

Primo: I said I’m sure. I mean it. Why are you even asking me that? That is not relevant to this conversation.

See what I mean about wondering what on earth is being said on the other end of the phone?

Primo: I am not going to discuss this with you. Are you coming or not?

Primo: I can get you tickets with my frequent flier miles.

Primo: To San Antonio so you won’t have to change planes. I think the walking would be too much for mom.

Primo: No, you won’t have to rent a car. I’ll pick you up there.

Note how I do not make a snarky comment about Primo picking them up at the airport so they don’t have to rent a car.

OK. Note how I do not make a snarky comment to Sly and Doris about Primo picking them up at the airport so they don’t have to rent a car.

Primo: Yes, it will be more than an hour in the car. It’s up to you. Would you rather change planes in Atlanta or Chicago?

Primo: Yeah, that’s what I thought.

Primo: What do you mean, “wait?” I thought I would get them right away.

Primo: Can’t your cleaning lady feed them? I thought she loved the cats.

Primo: Then what about Stephanie? Or Jack?

Primo: OK. I’ll talk to you later.

He hangs up.

Primo: They need to see if they can find someone to watch the cats.

Me: Do they understand that you were telling them the date and not asking them if it works for them?

Primo: I think so.

Me: Do they know that their schedule is not really important here? That they are not the ones who have inflexible commitments? They are retired. They have no friends. They have no hobbies. There is nothing that they cannot schedule around.

Primo: I'm not sure they understood what I was telling them. They might think we're willing to change the date. We're not. I will call them back.

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[1] See, “Oatmeal, the microwaving of.”