The Candidate's Wife: This is how it works when I do Primo THE FAVOR of taking photos for him

Primo wants photos of himself standing in front of the yard signs for two city council candidates he is supporting.

Here's how it works.

We go outside.

I go back inside to put on my winter coat.

I go back outside.

He fusses with the yard signs.

I wait.

I wait.

I wait.

Finally he is ready.

I take photo after photo after photo. It's cold and electrons are free. I try to get good composition with no trees coming out of his head and without his face being distorted.

Primo: Stopstopstopstop! Waitwaitwaitwait!

Me: What?

Primo: You're moving too fast!

Me: It's COLD!

Primo: Butbutbutbut!

Me, moving like a pro, talking to myself about trees and roofs and getting everything in the photo

Me: There. That's enough. Let's go inside. You can take a look at what we've got.

Primo: I CAN'T PICK FROM 20 photos!

Me: Why not?

Primo: I can pick from five. I can't pick from 20!!!! How am I supposed to choose?

Me: It's for a facebook post! That's not even about you! It's supposed to be about the city council candidates you support!

Primo: It's too many!

Me: Fine. Give me.

I scroll through the photos and instantly delete the ones that are OBVIOUSLY bad.

Me: Here. Look at these.

Primo: But my eyes are - squinty. That's why I wanted you to say, "One two three!" and let me pose!

Me: Ummm. But your eyes ARE squinty when you smile!

Primo: They are?

Me: Yes. That is how you look.

Primo: Oh.

Me: Pick one. I'm cold. Those are good enough.

Primo [engineer stuff about how he will have to upload from my camera to his computer because if I message the photos to him, the resolution won't be as good]

Me [back to Chicago Med - yes, I am that lazy on a weekend. Don't judge. I had two major deadlines at work this week and I am wiped out.]