Primo called Sly and Doris today to make up for the not calling them on Sunday of Labor Day weekend when they felt Abandoned and were Worried That He Was Dead.
Doris was despondent. Sly told Primo that Doris was upset that Primo had not properly thanked her for getting him some information on mental health charities.
"But you thanked her, right?"
"Of course I did!" he said.
"So she just doesn't like how you thanked her?"
He sighed. "Apparently, it wasn't the proper kind of thanks."
Then Primo spoke to Doris directly. She was still despondent
She doesn't know why Primo is bothering to run - or to consider running - for county government. "You won't be able to change anything," she said.
He rolled his eyes. "Nice that they support me, right?"
She says I will become bitter and resentful about having to support Primo financially.
"Well of course I will!" I told Primo cheerfully. "I am already bitter and resentful!"
"She thinks you won't support me," he said.
"Well, I won't. I hate the idea. It's scary. I don't want you to quit your job. But we have discussed it and looked at the money and you have talked to other people and it's going to happen and they need to get with the program."
Doris said that I am bitter and resentful that Primo does not share my interest in gardening - I wrote her a letter and mentioned that Primo doesn't really care about the vegetable garden, which he does and do I care? no - and asked but what about the part how Primo and I do not agree on politics?
"I know!" I said. "You and I don't agree!"
"She thinks our marriage is going to break up," he said.
"You'd think she'd be happy to finally have that happy thought in her head."
"Yes, but if I quit my job and you are working, then you can't be a gold digger any more and it changes everything."
I gasped. Primo was right. He had put his finger on the whole issue. What will they complain about now if I am not a gold digger?
I guess they always have my bacon eating habits.
Sunday, February 22, 2015
Thursday, February 19, 2015
In which Primo gets all stressed about quitting his job and I say Join the crowd honey I am living in Stressville
This is what it is like at our house right now with Primo contemplating quitting his job to be a full-time candidate: We are both super cranky and we snap at each other all the time and we fight in front of our friends and I tell Primo he has completely changed the rules and I never signed up for this and it is stress, stress, stress.
Then Primo reads this article in Salon.com by a guy who was dumb enough to quit a job so he could look for another job only the guy didn't even do any research about what kind of job he wanted to get and if those jobs were available and what he needed to do to get one of those jobs. He obviously never read Ask A Manager - Alison would never advise someone to quit a job without having another job lined up. Alison would also say not to listen to your parents about job advice because your parents are not objective and they don't always know.
In this case, the dad was an engineer with several patents and the writer was a failed musician who had gotten a typing pool job. The dad was all "Go for it, dude!" and the son listened to his father. He did no research (according to the article). He had minimal savings. He was 42 years old trying to get an entry-level position in another field. If you have ever looked for a job, you have probably discovered that employers are not eager to hire middle-aged, experienced people for entry-level jobs.
I feel bad for the guy, but honestly, he did not do it right.
Where was I?
So Primo is all stressed now because of this article and I pointed out that our situation is different - that Primo has been talking to people and we think we have a Plan B - that he could perhaps return to his old job after a year or to another employer in this area. I have a job. I don't make as much money as I would like or as I used to or as Primo does, but I make enough to cover our bills.
Still, we are super cranky and snappy with each other and if we both make it through this experience alive, I will be impressed.
Primo's parents certainly aren't encouraging him to do this, although I would be very happy if they would give him a $280,000 gift to launch his new life, as they essentially did with Jack and his restaurant.
Nope, Sly and Doris called yesterday - which was the Sunday of Labor Day weekend - to ask why Primo HAD NOT CALLED. THEY WERE WORRIED! IT HAD BEEN OVER A WEEK!
1. It had not been over a week. Primo calls them at least once a week, usually on Sunday before 3:00 our time because 3:00 our time is when they start drinking.
2. We were out of town. It is possible that the reason Primo does not call is that he is doing something else. It is pretty likely that he is doing something else on a holiday weekend.
But Doris had to give Primo the "But I was sooo worried because you didn't call" when she called at 4:30 our time, which means she declared panic and disaster only 90 minutes after the call usually happens and just had to go straight to High Drama rather than sending an email saying, "Hey! Hope everything is OK. I bet you are out of town for the holiday weekend. Love you. Talk to you next week."
Anyhow, the Primo situation is nothing like this guy.
And the good news is that the guy who wanted to run for the county board - the 23 year old - is not going to run. Primo got a text from a friend of his - this politically-connected guy - who gave him the news. The 23 year old had wanted to have coffee with Primo on Friday but then cancelled because he wasn't feeling well and rather just telling Primo over the phone that he wasn't going to run, he wants to reschedule the meeting, which makes me realize even more that this guy has never had a Serious Job because when you have a Serious Job, you don't get to spend your day running off to meet people for coffee so they can tell you something they could perfectly well tell you over the phone.
Then Primo reads this article in Salon.com by a guy who was dumb enough to quit a job so he could look for another job only the guy didn't even do any research about what kind of job he wanted to get and if those jobs were available and what he needed to do to get one of those jobs. He obviously never read Ask A Manager - Alison would never advise someone to quit a job without having another job lined up. Alison would also say not to listen to your parents about job advice because your parents are not objective and they don't always know.
In this case, the dad was an engineer with several patents and the writer was a failed musician who had gotten a typing pool job. The dad was all "Go for it, dude!" and the son listened to his father. He did no research (according to the article). He had minimal savings. He was 42 years old trying to get an entry-level position in another field. If you have ever looked for a job, you have probably discovered that employers are not eager to hire middle-aged, experienced people for entry-level jobs.
I feel bad for the guy, but honestly, he did not do it right.
Where was I?
So Primo is all stressed now because of this article and I pointed out that our situation is different - that Primo has been talking to people and we think we have a Plan B - that he could perhaps return to his old job after a year or to another employer in this area. I have a job. I don't make as much money as I would like or as I used to or as Primo does, but I make enough to cover our bills.
Still, we are super cranky and snappy with each other and if we both make it through this experience alive, I will be impressed.
Primo's parents certainly aren't encouraging him to do this, although I would be very happy if they would give him a $280,000 gift to launch his new life, as they essentially did with Jack and his restaurant.
Nope, Sly and Doris called yesterday - which was the Sunday of Labor Day weekend - to ask why Primo HAD NOT CALLED. THEY WERE WORRIED! IT HAD BEEN OVER A WEEK!
1. It had not been over a week. Primo calls them at least once a week, usually on Sunday before 3:00 our time because 3:00 our time is when they start drinking.
2. We were out of town. It is possible that the reason Primo does not call is that he is doing something else. It is pretty likely that he is doing something else on a holiday weekend.
But Doris had to give Primo the "But I was sooo worried because you didn't call" when she called at 4:30 our time, which means she declared panic and disaster only 90 minutes after the call usually happens and just had to go straight to High Drama rather than sending an email saying, "Hey! Hope everything is OK. I bet you are out of town for the holiday weekend. Love you. Talk to you next week."
Anyhow, the Primo situation is nothing like this guy.
And the good news is that the guy who wanted to run for the county board - the 23 year old - is not going to run. Primo got a text from a friend of his - this politically-connected guy - who gave him the news. The 23 year old had wanted to have coffee with Primo on Friday but then cancelled because he wasn't feeling well and rather just telling Primo over the phone that he wasn't going to run, he wants to reschedule the meeting, which makes me realize even more that this guy has never had a Serious Job because when you have a Serious Job, you don't get to spend your day running off to meet people for coffee so they can tell you something they could perfectly well tell you over the phone.
Sunday, February 15, 2015
In which Primo hopes for rain so he can get out of meeting with volunteers
It is the Saturday of Labor Day weekend and Primo is committed to spending Monday all day at campaign events. Then someone told him that there is a group of volunteers doing general campaigning who will be mentioning Primo's name during their rounds today - Saturday - and that Primo needs to meet with them.
Obviously, it's a good idea to somehow reward people who give their time to you. We are not in a position to pay people to campaign for us (what? you didn't know that people got paid for door to door campaigning? Yes! They do! Oftentimes, the sincere young person - the political equivalent of the indy singer-songwriter - who knocks on your door to tell you all about An Issue or A Candidate is being paid. I don't care - I am a capitalist and I believe people's time is worth something, but wouldn't you like to know if the person is being paid or is doing this out of sincere belief? I would.)
Where was I?
Oh. We are not rich people. We cannot pay people to campaign for us or to run the campaign. (although we made a big stupid mistake by paying Samantha, the most horrible campaign manager in the world for the previous campaign. My stomach hurts thinking of the money we wasted. Remember she tried to extort another candidate whose campaign she was managing?)
But Primo can spend time with people.
But it's not like Primo is a big name. So I have mixed feelings about this. It's important to keep people motivated. And it's gracious to appear in person to thank people who are working on your behalf.
But would I, if I were a campaign volunteer, even care if I met someone at Primo's level? I don't know. Maybe people who care enough about this stuff to spend the Saturday of a long weekend knocking on doors on behalf of someone else care about meeting the candidate.
Anyhow, it's not my free time. It's Primo's.
But he doesn't want to do it. He is hoping it rains so they can't do doors and he doesn't lose his Saturday morning.
I told him just not to do it anyhow.
"But that will hurt my reputation!" he said.
I laughed. "If reputations actually mattered in your world, Samantha would be at the bottom of the river."
Obviously, it's a good idea to somehow reward people who give their time to you. We are not in a position to pay people to campaign for us (what? you didn't know that people got paid for door to door campaigning? Yes! They do! Oftentimes, the sincere young person - the political equivalent of the indy singer-songwriter - who knocks on your door to tell you all about An Issue or A Candidate is being paid. I don't care - I am a capitalist and I believe people's time is worth something, but wouldn't you like to know if the person is being paid or is doing this out of sincere belief? I would.)
Where was I?
Oh. We are not rich people. We cannot pay people to campaign for us or to run the campaign. (although we made a big stupid mistake by paying Samantha, the most horrible campaign manager in the world for the previous campaign. My stomach hurts thinking of the money we wasted. Remember she tried to extort another candidate whose campaign she was managing?)
But Primo can spend time with people.
But it's not like Primo is a big name. So I have mixed feelings about this. It's important to keep people motivated. And it's gracious to appear in person to thank people who are working on your behalf.
But would I, if I were a campaign volunteer, even care if I met someone at Primo's level? I don't know. Maybe people who care enough about this stuff to spend the Saturday of a long weekend knocking on doors on behalf of someone else care about meeting the candidate.
Anyhow, it's not my free time. It's Primo's.
But he doesn't want to do it. He is hoping it rains so they can't do doors and he doesn't lose his Saturday morning.
I told him just not to do it anyhow.
"But that will hurt my reputation!" he said.
I laughed. "If reputations actually mattered in your world, Samantha would be at the bottom of the river."
Thursday, February 12, 2015
In which Primo marches up and down the square
Primo: I went to that demonstration.
Me: Oh great.
Primo: Hey! A lot of party people were supposed to be there.
Me: OK. Then if you can connect with them, that's good.
Primo: Anyhow, it was supposed to be just a peaceful march.
Me: Uh huh.
Primo: But then, the group detoured and a bunch of people went into the police station.
Me: What?
Primo: Yeah. That was not part of the plan.
Me: So what did you do?
Primo: I decided that was a good time to get out of there.
Me: I think that was a good idea.
Two hours later, I read online that there is a sit-in at the police station. I look at the photo but don't see Primo.
Me: They're still at the station.
Primo: Let me see.
Me: I don't see you in the photo.
Primo: I was there. Marching.
I look up at him.
Primo: Marching up and down the square.
Me: Oh great.
Primo: Hey! A lot of party people were supposed to be there.
Me: OK. Then if you can connect with them, that's good.
Primo: Anyhow, it was supposed to be just a peaceful march.
Me: Uh huh.
Primo: But then, the group detoured and a bunch of people went into the police station.
Me: What?
Primo: Yeah. That was not part of the plan.
Me: So what did you do?
Primo: I decided that was a good time to get out of there.
Me: I think that was a good idea.
Two hours later, I read online that there is a sit-in at the police station. I look at the photo but don't see Primo.
Me: They're still at the station.
Primo: Let me see.
Me: I don't see you in the photo.
Primo: I was there. Marching.
I look up at him.
Primo: Marching up and down the square.
Sunday, February 8, 2015
In which Primo discusses quitting his job - again
Me: It's not that I don't believe in you or support you - although I think politicians are slimy and it's a nasty business and I don't know why you want any part of it - it's that I am so scared that if you quit, you will never find another job and I will be stuck working until I am 70 and we won't have enough money to be old.
Primo: I'm scared, too.
Me: What if I lose my job? What if I get laid off?
Primo: What if I'm hit by a bus tonight on my way to karaoke?
Me: Then I would get a check for $1.3 million dollars from your life insurance plus whatever the bus company would give me.
Primo: I'm scared, too.
Me: What if I lose my job? What if I get laid off?
Primo: What if I'm hit by a bus tonight on my way to karaoke?
Me: Then I would get a check for $1.3 million dollars from your life insurance plus whatever the bus company would give me.
Thursday, February 5, 2015
In which Primo does not want me to accompany him to campaign events because people might think he beat me up
I have a black eye. Nothing serious. Just had a little bump and now I have a black eye. The bump was not with Primo's fist. Primo has a temper but he is not a hitter. We have wondered if Sly is a hitter. Sly has hit Primo. We don't know if he has hit Doris. I think Sly's preferred weapon is words. He can slice Doris into tiny little pieces in a second with his cruel words.
Primo fights mostly fair. He and his ex attended marriage counseling. He made a real effort not to be like Sly. So even when we argue, he plays fair.
He is definitely not a hitter.
However - with my black eye - the first thing people will think is that he hit me.
He told me he did not want me to go with him to a party picnic on Saturday.
Like I wanted to go anyhow.
But I told him that I was going to get a t-shirt that says, "My husband, who is running for Congress as a [Party], does not beat me!"
Primo fights mostly fair. He and his ex attended marriage counseling. He made a real effort not to be like Sly. So even when we argue, he plays fair.
He is definitely not a hitter.
However - with my black eye - the first thing people will think is that he hit me.
He told me he did not want me to go with him to a party picnic on Saturday.
Like I wanted to go anyhow.
But I told him that I was going to get a t-shirt that says, "My husband, who is running for Congress as a [Party], does not beat me!"
Wednesday, February 4, 2015
Danger: Here be dragons
Nothing like stumbling across your college boyfriend's facebook page and falling into the rabbit hole of looking at his kids' pages and the videos they have posted on youtube. This is not a good way to spend time. Not a good way at all.
That could have been my life.
That could have been my life.
Thursday, January 29, 2015
In which Primo goes to Russell's house to talk about running for Russell's county seat and then he and I have a big ol' fight about the stupid campaign and how it's ruining our lives
Primo went over to Russell Crowe's house this afternoon to talk to him about running for Russell's seat. He wanted to get to Russell before Leo did or at least pretty close.
Primo: So I went over there and rang the doorbell.
Me: Was he home?
Primo: Yes. But he was taking a nap! I woke him up!
Me: Oh no!
Primo: But he was really nice. He invited me inside and we talked. He told me that he and his wife cancelled their vacation this summer so he could campaign.
Me: That stinks.
Primo: Yeah.....
Me: Oh! About vacation! When we go to Spain in November, if you have quit your job, you won't have to take your computer and we can actually be on vacation!
[Primo has taken his work computer with him on every vacation we have taken and usually spends a few hours every morning working, including working until 4 a.m. in the lobby - because that was the only place he could get an internet connection - of the hotel the first night of our honeymoon in Spain.]
Primo: About that.
Me: What?
Primo: Maybe we should postpone.
Me: What? Are you crazy? We have been trying to take this trip for over a year!
Primo: Yes, but if I am serious about running for the county seat, I will need to be working on that in November.
Me: Fine. Then we can change it to October.
Primo: But that's before the election!
Me: You don't have a chance of winning that race!
Primo: But I need to work on it!
Me: If you quit your job and stick with the original plan of two to three events a week, then you will have plenty of time to lay the groundwork for the county run.
Primo: It doesn't work that way.
Me: I cannot believe you are actually going to do this.
Primo: So I went over there and rang the doorbell.
Me: Was he home?
Primo: Yes. But he was taking a nap! I woke him up!
Me: Oh no!
Primo: But he was really nice. He invited me inside and we talked. He told me that he and his wife cancelled their vacation this summer so he could campaign.
Me: That stinks.
Primo: Yeah.....
Me: Oh! About vacation! When we go to Spain in November, if you have quit your job, you won't have to take your computer and we can actually be on vacation!
[Primo has taken his work computer with him on every vacation we have taken and usually spends a few hours every morning working, including working until 4 a.m. in the lobby - because that was the only place he could get an internet connection - of the hotel the first night of our honeymoon in Spain.]
Primo: About that.
Me: What?
Primo: Maybe we should postpone.
Me: What? Are you crazy? We have been trying to take this trip for over a year!
Primo: Yes, but if I am serious about running for the county seat, I will need to be working on that in November.
Me: Fine. Then we can change it to October.
Primo: But that's before the election!
Me: You don't have a chance of winning that race!
Primo: But I need to work on it!
Me: If you quit your job and stick with the original plan of two to three events a week, then you will have plenty of time to lay the groundwork for the county run.
Primo: It doesn't work that way.
Me: I cannot believe you are actually going to do this.
Sunday, January 25, 2015
In which Primo spends the afternoon campaigning at another county fair and discovers that The Party is involved in more chicanery, which shocks him but does not shock me at all because I think most politicians and their minions are scum
I decided not to go with Primo to the Lafayette County fair on Saturday because 1. I have a life and 2. I have a life. Sure, that life consists of making potato salad and macaroni and cheese and reading and going to the farmers market, but it's my life and my Saturday.
He drives 90 miles to the fair. Pays to get in. Buys food while he is there.
The campaign is paying for none of this because the campaign does not have any money.
He returns with some deep fried s'mores, which I do not mind, and with gossip.
Primo: You remember that candidate you met at the other county fair? Goldie Hawn?
Me: Of course. She's super nice. She has the soap business.
Primo: So the party had convinced her to run.
Me: Right. She hadn't even thought about it, but they approached her and gave her the same crap they gave you: that they really really needed a candidate in that race and she was soooooo perfect and would she pretty please run and they would totally support her.
Primo: Exactly.
Me: And now they are not supporting her.
Primo: No! It's worse! It's not that they are not supporting her - which they are not - but they told her and some other candidates last week that the party was holding a mandatory meeting for candidates on Monday and they had to go. The meeting was supposed to be at 11. So she drives two hours to this meeting and these other candidates drive a long way, too. They get there at 11 - and the main people they are supposed to meet haven't even shown up!
Me: That's pretty rude.
Primo: That's not the worst part. So the people they are supposed to talk to don't show up until 11:25. And then they tell Goldie and two other candidates that there is a special lunch with some campaign consultants but they aren't invited!
Me: Wait! There was a lunch and they told Goldie, "But no special lunch for you!"
Primo: Yes!
[I am not surprised at all because none of these party apparatchniks have impressed me. They are all in it for themselves, which is fine because that is how human nature works. Once you understand someone's motivation, you can work with it. What scares me are the true believers like Primo, who says he wants to Make the World a Better Place. That, I do not trust. Who's to say his definition of Better Place = my definition? Don't presume to work on my behalf and to enlighten me. Tell me exactly what you want and qui bono so I can either vote for you or not.]
Primo: They were not allowed to go to the lunch with the consultants.
Me: That is so bad.
Primo: And then this other guy - another guy they had asked to run and had helped in the primary - he won his primary and now they have told him he has five days to raise $8,000.
Me: What?
Primo: Yes! The day after the primary, they told him that if he wanted to be taken seriously, he had to raise the money. He had no warning.
Me: Just like the county party chair had told you. That if you couldn't raise $2,000 in one day, you were not a serious candidate.
[I took great joy in seeing that party chair listed as a major loser in the most recent election - none of the candidates whose campaigns he had managed - he has since become a campaign consultant - won. Ha.]
Primo: Yep.
Me: So it really becomes a shakedown of your friends and family or your own savings.
Primo: Yes.
Me: Loooove your party.
He drives 90 miles to the fair. Pays to get in. Buys food while he is there.
The campaign is paying for none of this because the campaign does not have any money.
He returns with some deep fried s'mores, which I do not mind, and with gossip.
Primo: You remember that candidate you met at the other county fair? Goldie Hawn?
Me: Of course. She's super nice. She has the soap business.
Primo: So the party had convinced her to run.
Me: Right. She hadn't even thought about it, but they approached her and gave her the same crap they gave you: that they really really needed a candidate in that race and she was soooooo perfect and would she pretty please run and they would totally support her.
Primo: Exactly.
Me: And now they are not supporting her.
Primo: No! It's worse! It's not that they are not supporting her - which they are not - but they told her and some other candidates last week that the party was holding a mandatory meeting for candidates on Monday and they had to go. The meeting was supposed to be at 11. So she drives two hours to this meeting and these other candidates drive a long way, too. They get there at 11 - and the main people they are supposed to meet haven't even shown up!
Me: That's pretty rude.
Primo: That's not the worst part. So the people they are supposed to talk to don't show up until 11:25. And then they tell Goldie and two other candidates that there is a special lunch with some campaign consultants but they aren't invited!
Me: Wait! There was a lunch and they told Goldie, "But no special lunch for you!"
Primo: Yes!
[I am not surprised at all because none of these party apparatchniks have impressed me. They are all in it for themselves, which is fine because that is how human nature works. Once you understand someone's motivation, you can work with it. What scares me are the true believers like Primo, who says he wants to Make the World a Better Place. That, I do not trust. Who's to say his definition of Better Place = my definition? Don't presume to work on my behalf and to enlighten me. Tell me exactly what you want and qui bono so I can either vote for you or not.]
Primo: They were not allowed to go to the lunch with the consultants.
Me: That is so bad.
Primo: And then this other guy - another guy they had asked to run and had helped in the primary - he won his primary and now they have told him he has five days to raise $8,000.
Me: What?
Primo: Yes! The day after the primary, they told him that if he wanted to be taken seriously, he had to raise the money. He had no warning.
Me: Just like the county party chair had told you. That if you couldn't raise $2,000 in one day, you were not a serious candidate.
[I took great joy in seeing that party chair listed as a major loser in the most recent election - none of the candidates whose campaigns he had managed - he has since become a campaign consultant - won. Ha.]
Primo: Yep.
Me: So it really becomes a shakedown of your friends and family or your own savings.
Primo: Yes.
Me: Loooove your party.
Thursday, January 22, 2015
In which Primo gets his mojo back and decides that Leo DiCaprio is not a big deal
Primo: I thought about it. I don't have to worry about Leo.
[What? Is this my beloved Primo, who has a tendency to wallow in misery, actually just brushing his hands together and Getting On With Things? Is this the Primo who was all worried that he might have to campaign against Leo and create dissension within the party and oh no! What would happen now?]
Me: What do you mean?
Primo: He's 23. He's never had a real job. He lives with his mother.
Me: I know. I pointed that out yesterday.
Primo: He is not serious competition.
Me: No kidding.
[What? Is this my beloved Primo, who has a tendency to wallow in misery, actually just brushing his hands together and Getting On With Things? Is this the Primo who was all worried that he might have to campaign against Leo and create dissension within the party and oh no! What would happen now?]
Me: What do you mean?
Primo: He's 23. He's never had a real job. He lives with his mother.
Me: I know. I pointed that out yesterday.
Primo: He is not serious competition.
Me: No kidding.
Sunday, January 18, 2015
In which Primo and I seriously discuss the possibility of his quitting his job, which pays twice as much as mine does, so I freak out, so he can run for local office and in which we discover there is someone else who is interested in running for that office, so Primo becomes despondent
Where was I? It’s been a while since I’ve posted – the new
job has me pretty busy. They actually expect me to work while I am there, which
really cuts into my blogging time.
So. Now that I have started the new job, which pays
marginally more than the previous job and comes with a sane CEO – or at least a
CEO I will never have to see, as there are several thousand employees, Primo is
talking seriously about quitting his job so he can focus full time on the
campaign.
I tell him he is nuts – that he is not going to win the race
no matter what and it’s better to lose and still have a job than to lose and
not have a job.
A job, I might add, that pays our bills, as my pay still has
not recovered from a six-year absence from the workforce and counts as hobby
money. Primo makes twice as much money as I do and has far better benefits.
But then he countered with the argument that although he is
not going to win the Congressional race, he could position himself for a local
race that will be happening in the spring.
The guy who holds the county seat for our district now just
won the primary for county mayor. He is likely to win the election in November,
which will mean that the county district seat will be empty.
This guy – let’s call him Russell Crowe – wait – have I used
that name already? I cannot keep track of the people in this story. I wish I
could use real names but that would be beyond stupid.
(Update: Yes. I have already used the name Russell Crowe, probably because I think Russell Crowe is a hottie and he is top of mind. This is a different Russell Crowe! This is RC #2. Sorry if it's confusing - well, not if it's confusing - it is confusing. Sorry. But I am not good at assigning good pseudonyms.)
(Update: Yes. I have already used the name Russell Crowe, probably because I think Russell Crowe is a hottie and he is top of mind. This is a different Russell Crowe! This is RC #2. Sorry if it's confusing - well, not if it's confusing - it is confusing. Sorry. But I am not good at assigning good pseudonyms.)
Incidentally, any of you who might be job searching: my new
boss told me he googled me and read everything I had written online under my
own name. So if you are thinking about writing political pieces for your local
paper, you might want to be very careful. Actually, he stopped reading the
political stuff when he realized it was political because he did not want to let
my views influence his hiring decision, but not everyone is that rational.
So Russell – we will leave his name there – used to hold the
state house seat that Primo ran for two years ago. He was ticked off at Primo
because Primo supported another candidate for the county seat. Primo had given
his support to Steven Spielberg before Russell ever announced he was running
for the seat, but Russell didn’t care. Russell decided to run for the county
seat when he realized that redistricting meant that he could never win the
state seat again, which makes a wise person ask, “Well if Russell, who was the
incumbent and had held that state seat for years didn’t think he could win
again, what made Primo think that he, a newcomer, could win?”
That is an excellent question.
So after Primo didn’t support Russell and supported
Russell’s opponent instead, even though he didn’t even know that Steven was
Russell’s opponent, and then after Primo ran for Russell’s seat, Russell was
cranky and decided that Primo was his enemy.
Primo approached Russell and Russell forgave Primo, even
though there was nothing for Russell to forgive. Then Russell decided to run
for county mayor and Primo thought, “Aha! I can run for Russell’s seat!”
So that has been Primo’s plan: he would focus his
Congressional campaign in the sections of the district that overlap with the
county district so he would be well positioned after the November election to
run for Russell’s seat. He would quit his job to work full time on all this
stuff.
The idea gives me palpitations and cold sweat and
nightmares, but in all fairness, Primo does deserve a chance to do something
different with his career. I asked that if after a year, he didn’t have some
kind of political job, that he return to engineering and he agreed.
I thought we were done.
And then Primo found out that this young guy – Leo DiCaprio
(this is not a compliment – I do not like Leo), who works part time for the
county, lives with his mother, and doesn’t even live in the district, also
wants to run for Russell’s seat.
This gave Primo cold sweat and nightmares.
Leo called Primo and asked if they could meet.
Primo agreed. One hoped that upon meeting Primo, Leo would
realize that he was outclassed, but Leo told Primo that he was 95% sure that he
would run and that he was meeting Russell in a few days.
Primo became despondent.
I said that maybe he could wallow for a day and then figure
out a solution.
“You are not going to let this happen without a fight, are
you?” I asked. "You have to talk to Russell before Leo does. He can't just endorse him."
“I really shouldn’t create problems within the party,” he
answered.
“Oh bull,” I said. “This is not about the party. This is
about you. Here’s how we would fight him: he’s a carpetbagger who has never
held a real job and has no valid experience to qualify him for the job.”
“That’s mean!” Primo protested.
“No, it’s not! OK – then we do it more subtly. You are
committed to this district – you have owned a house here for over six years.
You have 25 years of private-sector work experience and you understand the
realities of paying bills and working hard.”
“Maybe,” he admitted.
“We need a plan,” I said. “We need to win this.”
Thursday, January 15, 2015
In which the League of Women Voters sends Primo a survey that asks, "What is the meaning of life?"
Primo has been cranky all day, complaining about the darn surveys.
Moaning and groaning about the surveys.
Gnashing of the teeth. Tearing of the hair.
I got tired of it. Went to the gym. Came back. Still moaning. I offered cookies. Still moaning.
Finally, I asked, "How hard can a survey be? Would you just quit whining and do it?"
I was thinking about some of the surveys he had gotten in the previous campaign, surveys that asked questions like
- Do you hate puppies? What about kittens?
- Are you in favor of children starving to death?
- Are you for cancer? What about rape?
- Do you think people should be able to shoot 20 people at a time without even reloading?
Easy, totally biased questions.
But then he emailed the League of Women Voters survey to me.
Read these questions and tell me what you think. First, are these the questions you ask of your political candidates? Second, how many people without a full staff of volunteers and researchers can answer questions like this?
- Will you co-sponsor the Voting Rights Amendment Act, authored by Wisconsin’s Rep. Sensenbrenner to repair the damage caused by the Supreme Court’s decision in Shelby County v. Holder? Why or why not?
- What do you believe the role of the US government should be in transitioning to clean renewable energy generation?
- Most healthcare expenditures are for chronic illnesses. Would you support increased funding for prevention and public health? How can we reduce chronic illness?
- There are two ways to balance a budget – by reducing spending and/or by increasing revenues. What is your approach, and how would you ensure the revenue required for needed services for citizens?
I messaged back:
I started doing some research on medical funding so we could answer the third question. Then I realized that unless we were willing to spend our entire vacation doing the proper research - we are not - that getting down and dirty in the details is not the way to go. If you don't get all your details exactly right, you will be hammered. (The answers to these questions will be published.) Better, I thought, to take a high-level approach.
Then I reminded Primo that just because the League asked the questions does not mean he has to answer them. "This is your chance to talk about what you want to talk about," I said. "Do what all politicians do when they are asked a question: use it as a chance to address the issue that interests you."
We'll see if he bites. Primo is pretty rules bound, except when it comes to the speed limit, and thinks that just because someone expects something of him, even if he has never agreed to deliver, that he is obligated to meet their terms. Except with me, of course. He has no problems telling me "no." I keep telling him to think of all these campaign people as me so he can tell them he isn't going to do what they want.
Sunday, January 11, 2015
In which we all scratch our heads and say, "Huh?"
Primo wants to know (and so do I) who schedules an all-day political strategy session on the same day that the football team is in the playoffs. Football is religion here.
Thursday, January 8, 2015
In which Primo marches up and down the square for Fourth of July
Primo was invited to march in a Fourth of July parade and he wanted to do it and he wanted me to walk with him and I said that is about the last thing I want to spend my time doing because the Fourth is a holiday and marching in a parade is not my idea of a good time.
Good Lord, man. I have books to read! I have a garden to tend! I have DVDs to watch!
But he asked again and again. Still, I said no way jose' unless you want this to be one of your three campaign events, which are now down to two campaign events because I went to that boring as heck event for the congresswoman.
And then a friend of his, Russell Crowe, decided to visit us, so arrived on Tuesday and was going to leave July 5th, which was fine except Primo has this nasty habit of running upstairs for just a minute when he has guests and I, who have been minding my own business, doing something on the computer, am suddenly the person who is responsible for entertaining the guest.
I don't mind if Primo's friends visit. I do mind when they visit and he abandons them to me. Yes, I like his friends and no, I don't mind if they visit, although as I pointed out to Primo, his friend, he gets to prepare the guest room and bathroom.
Primo replied that when he visited Russ, Russ's wife made up the bed and all the other stuff and I pointed out that Russ's wife does not have a job and they no longer have children at home so Russ's wife has time to prepare for guests. "If you are willing to be the sole earner in this house again," I said, "I will be more than happy to do all the guest prep."
He did not like that idea.
For someone so progressive, Primo has a rather odd idea of how a woman should function in her own home.
Primo convinced Russ to march in the parade with him and then I was guilted into it.
Oh wait. I wasn't done with Primo abandoning his guests. Sure enough, he did it the evening Russ arrived. Primo and Russ came into the house about five minutes before my friend Lois came over to deliver half a crate of peaches to me. She had gone to the peach place that afternoon and we were splitting a case. I went outside with her and we chatted for about ten minutes. When I came back into the house, Russ was alone in the kitchen. Primo had gone upstairs. "He just went to put something on facebook about the parade," Russ said.
"He has to do that right now?"
Russ shrugged.
"He said, 'for just a minute?'"
Russ laughed. "I have known Primo since 1986. I know what 'just a minute' from him means."
I like Russ. I enjoy talking to him. He is a wonderful houseguest and he is always welcome in my home, but I did not want to make idle chitchat with him right then. It was 7 p.m. I had just gotten off two hours of conference calls with HQ, which is not in Argentina, even though that's its blog country, but in a country where our awake hours overlap only after 5 p.m. I had to go to work the next morning. I hadn't done anything since I had gotten home from work except change clothes and be on the calls. I had things of my own to do. But I couldn't just walk away from our guest.
Maybe I am not doing it right. What do you guys think? What is the proper etiquette about leaving a guest alone in your home? I don't care if I am accompanied every second when I am visiting someone, but I am very self sufficient. Also, Primo and Russ were on the way out. Russ was just waiting for Primo. It wasn't a good time for him to go for a walk or start reading a book or whatever.
Am I responsible for staying and talking to him? It seemed impossibly rude to leave him in the kitchen while I went to my room to read. So I stayed but was ticked off at Primo, who answered, when I suggested that he quit abandoning his guests to me (this has happened before), "Well what was I supposed to do? Have him come wait in my office?"
I told him that the solution was not to abandon the guest and perhaps do the facebook post later. He got indignant and informed me that he is busy and he had to do it then and we had a bit of an argument.
The rest of the weekend, I just made sure to be busy - like outside of the house busy - at points where I was pretty sure that Primo would abandon Russ. I would rather Russ think Primo rude than think me rude.
So back to the parade. Primo really wanted me to do it and I felt - I don't know - not guilty but somehow not supportive and I didn't realize it would be a two-hour ordeal so I agreed to do it.
You guys. There is nothing more boring than marching in a parade. Nothing. NOTHING.
Two miles of dull. Nothing interesting to see around us: we were way behind the baton twirlers (I didn't even know that girls twirled baton any more) and between the mattress company and the cub scouts.
The only thing that saved it was one of the guys walking with us is a freelance advertising guy and we talked about marketing and advertising strategy for some of the big companies in town. He has done work for all the biggies. He was interesting and he will be a good work contact, so that alone made it worth the time.
But the parade itself. It was hot and the sun was glaring, which almost never happens here, but of course, it would happen on the day that I had to be outside for two hours. It was boring. We couldn't hear the high school band because they were way ahead of us. We just walked down the street, each of us holding a "Primo for Congress" sign and Russ occasionally tossing candy to the kids sitting along the curb, holding their plastic bags for the loot.
(That is also new to me - that kids get candy during a parade and that this fact is so well known by everyone but me that they know to bring a bag? Every time I start to feel like there is nothing that could surprise me, I get surprised.)
I am rambling in this post, aren't I? It doesn't have much of a plot. It's more of a general whine. I guess I am a whiner.
The day ended nicely, though. My friends Ben and Jennifer just bought a farm about 45 minutes outside of town. They invited us to their Fourth party. We were excited to go because they discovered two months ago that not only did they buy a farm, they bought several pregnant barn cats. It has been kittenpalooza around there since April. Ben keeps posting photos of the kittens - so far, they are up to ten kittens with three mama cats, with another mama cat who has hidden her babies - and Primo has been dying to see them.
We had the kitten tour as soon as we got there. Then Primo got a photo of himself holding one of the kittens - he is cat obsessed - and posted it on his campaign page with the caption, "Kittens in Travis County support Primo for Congress."
One commenter said, "Well, if kittens like him, how can we not support him?"
The end.
Good Lord, man. I have books to read! I have a garden to tend! I have DVDs to watch!
But he asked again and again. Still, I said no way jose' unless you want this to be one of your three campaign events, which are now down to two campaign events because I went to that boring as heck event for the congresswoman.
And then a friend of his, Russell Crowe, decided to visit us, so arrived on Tuesday and was going to leave July 5th, which was fine except Primo has this nasty habit of running upstairs for just a minute when he has guests and I, who have been minding my own business, doing something on the computer, am suddenly the person who is responsible for entertaining the guest.
I don't mind if Primo's friends visit. I do mind when they visit and he abandons them to me. Yes, I like his friends and no, I don't mind if they visit, although as I pointed out to Primo, his friend, he gets to prepare the guest room and bathroom.
Primo replied that when he visited Russ, Russ's wife made up the bed and all the other stuff and I pointed out that Russ's wife does not have a job and they no longer have children at home so Russ's wife has time to prepare for guests. "If you are willing to be the sole earner in this house again," I said, "I will be more than happy to do all the guest prep."
He did not like that idea.
For someone so progressive, Primo has a rather odd idea of how a woman should function in her own home.
Primo convinced Russ to march in the parade with him and then I was guilted into it.
Oh wait. I wasn't done with Primo abandoning his guests. Sure enough, he did it the evening Russ arrived. Primo and Russ came into the house about five minutes before my friend Lois came over to deliver half a crate of peaches to me. She had gone to the peach place that afternoon and we were splitting a case. I went outside with her and we chatted for about ten minutes. When I came back into the house, Russ was alone in the kitchen. Primo had gone upstairs. "He just went to put something on facebook about the parade," Russ said.
"He has to do that right now?"
Russ shrugged.
"He said, 'for just a minute?'"
Russ laughed. "I have known Primo since 1986. I know what 'just a minute' from him means."
I like Russ. I enjoy talking to him. He is a wonderful houseguest and he is always welcome in my home, but I did not want to make idle chitchat with him right then. It was 7 p.m. I had just gotten off two hours of conference calls with HQ, which is not in Argentina, even though that's its blog country, but in a country where our awake hours overlap only after 5 p.m. I had to go to work the next morning. I hadn't done anything since I had gotten home from work except change clothes and be on the calls. I had things of my own to do. But I couldn't just walk away from our guest.
Maybe I am not doing it right. What do you guys think? What is the proper etiquette about leaving a guest alone in your home? I don't care if I am accompanied every second when I am visiting someone, but I am very self sufficient. Also, Primo and Russ were on the way out. Russ was just waiting for Primo. It wasn't a good time for him to go for a walk or start reading a book or whatever.
Am I responsible for staying and talking to him? It seemed impossibly rude to leave him in the kitchen while I went to my room to read. So I stayed but was ticked off at Primo, who answered, when I suggested that he quit abandoning his guests to me (this has happened before), "Well what was I supposed to do? Have him come wait in my office?"
I told him that the solution was not to abandon the guest and perhaps do the facebook post later. He got indignant and informed me that he is busy and he had to do it then and we had a bit of an argument.
The rest of the weekend, I just made sure to be busy - like outside of the house busy - at points where I was pretty sure that Primo would abandon Russ. I would rather Russ think Primo rude than think me rude.
So back to the parade. Primo really wanted me to do it and I felt - I don't know - not guilty but somehow not supportive and I didn't realize it would be a two-hour ordeal so I agreed to do it.
You guys. There is nothing more boring than marching in a parade. Nothing. NOTHING.
Two miles of dull. Nothing interesting to see around us: we were way behind the baton twirlers (I didn't even know that girls twirled baton any more) and between the mattress company and the cub scouts.
The only thing that saved it was one of the guys walking with us is a freelance advertising guy and we talked about marketing and advertising strategy for some of the big companies in town. He has done work for all the biggies. He was interesting and he will be a good work contact, so that alone made it worth the time.
But the parade itself. It was hot and the sun was glaring, which almost never happens here, but of course, it would happen on the day that I had to be outside for two hours. It was boring. We couldn't hear the high school band because they were way ahead of us. We just walked down the street, each of us holding a "Primo for Congress" sign and Russ occasionally tossing candy to the kids sitting along the curb, holding their plastic bags for the loot.
(That is also new to me - that kids get candy during a parade and that this fact is so well known by everyone but me that they know to bring a bag? Every time I start to feel like there is nothing that could surprise me, I get surprised.)
I am rambling in this post, aren't I? It doesn't have much of a plot. It's more of a general whine. I guess I am a whiner.
The day ended nicely, though. My friends Ben and Jennifer just bought a farm about 45 minutes outside of town. They invited us to their Fourth party. We were excited to go because they discovered two months ago that not only did they buy a farm, they bought several pregnant barn cats. It has been kittenpalooza around there since April. Ben keeps posting photos of the kittens - so far, they are up to ten kittens with three mama cats, with another mama cat who has hidden her babies - and Primo has been dying to see them.
We had the kitten tour as soon as we got there. Then Primo got a photo of himself holding one of the kittens - he is cat obsessed - and posted it on his campaign page with the caption, "Kittens in Travis County support Primo for Congress."
One commenter said, "Well, if kittens like him, how can we not support him?"
The end.
Sunday, January 4, 2015
In which Primo and I devise a way for him to motivate people without lying
Primo and I were at a concert last night. While the band sang, "You Sexy Thing," he showed me the emails that had bugged him so much, giving the feedback not to him but to his campaign manager, Bruno, that Primo was "demotivating" people.
I read the emails. Gwyneth had written to Bruno (and then Bruno forwarded the note to Primo), after telling Primo to his face that he had done such a great job, a rather tactful note (I thought) that perhaps Primo shouldn't admit in the first few minutes of a speech that he wasn't going to win. "I could see peoples' facing falling," she wrote.
I asked Primo what he had said. "I didn't say I wasn't going to win! I said we needed to talk about what winning was!"
"Hmmm," I replied. "So it wasn't your intention to communicate that you can't win but to talk about the bigger picture. You didn't want to promise something that can't happen because you don't want to lie but you wanted to talk about how you fit into the bigger picture."
"Yes," he said. "I can't say I am going to win this race because I am not going to win this race."
"But they thought that's what you said."
"But I didn't!" he protested.
"I know," I said. "But somehow, that's what they got. And then Bruno writes to you that people want to have hope. Except anyone who can look at the data knows there is no chance at all that you will win this election. None."
Primo shook his head. "If I had known that they wanted me to tell people I was going to win, I never would have agreed to do this."
I nodded. "You don't want to lie. I don't want you to lie. You have to live with yourself when this is all over, so you want to conduct yourself with integrity. But you still want people to be motivated to work for the party overall, right?"
He nodded.
[Then we went through a lot of back and forth about how he was despondent over this and how being criticized for something you didn't think you had done wrong and then criticized via email is very hard to take and the band went through, "Play That Funky Music" and "The Night Chicago Died" and four other songs I can't remember.]
I rubbed the back of his head. He dropped his chin and sighed. "I wish I had never done this," he admitted. "It's just too hard. And now they are telling me things that I didn't think were part of the deal. I can't tell people to donate money to my campaign because they will be wasting their money. I don't want to do that. I don't want to mislead people."
[NB And that is why Primo is a very bad politician. He is not willing to lie to get what he wants.]
"They don't know any more than you do," I said. "None of them are political experts. And it's your name and your face out there. So you get to make the decisions. It's your reputation, not theirs. Everyone has their own agenda. There's nothing wrong with that. The people on the campaign team might want to be able to put on their resumes that they did X with this campaign. And that's fine. But in the end, you get to decide. And you don't have to feel bad about that."
He nodded.
"You need to be more like Bill Clinton."
"What?"
"Not the sleeping around and the sexual harassment part. Not the perjury part. But the motivating people part. He is good at connecting with people and getting them excited. So how do you do that?"
I thought.
"I have an idea," I said. "Voters need to be motivated. But you can't motivate them by telling them you are going to win. What about this? When someone asks if you are going to win, you say, 'I would love to win and represent you in Congress. If I am elected' -- see, you are saying 'if.' You are not promising anything. 'If I am elected, I will work on these three issues.' Just change the subject. Focus on what you want to talk about. You do that with me all the time."
He smiled. "I wouldn't say that I would 'love' to win."
"Whatever. Use whatever words you want. But use that question to re-direct the conversation."
"But what if they keep asking? I can't keep doing that."
"Sure you can. And besides, remember, you are with people who are on your side. They are not trying to trip you up. You are not being interviewed by the opposition."
"Maybe."
Then I had a brilliant idea. "Here's what you need to say! You need to own it. You need to be authentic. You don't need to dance around the issue. Just admit it! Just tell the truth. People want someone who is honest and authentic and it has already worked for you. Remember when I suggested you change your speech to admit you are not a storyteller, you are an engineer and you deal in facts? Well, here is another chance to own the issue. When someone asks if you can win, you tell them, 'This is a David and Goliath race. I am David. I am hoping for a miracle.'"
"I can't say 'miracle' because that implies I believe in God and I don't."
I rolled my eyes. "Whatever! Mr Can't See the Forest for the Trees! Use whatever words you want to express the idea. But David and Goliath is a great image and it works. Americans love the underdog."
"Maybe," he admitted.
"I think this could work. It is absolutely truthful. It would take a miracle for you to win. But if you did win, then you would do a, b, and c. Just tell them that. You are not lying. You are giving people hope, even though anyone with a brain can see that there is no chance that you would win. But you deflect the question with that answer and then move on to what people actually can do, which is to be sure to vote, to work for other candidates who do have a chance of winning, etcetera."
He smiled. "Maybe." Then we left so he could get a beer and he was not so cranky.
I don't think I could be a full-time political spouse. This is way too hard.
I read the emails. Gwyneth had written to Bruno (and then Bruno forwarded the note to Primo), after telling Primo to his face that he had done such a great job, a rather tactful note (I thought) that perhaps Primo shouldn't admit in the first few minutes of a speech that he wasn't going to win. "I could see peoples' facing falling," she wrote.
I asked Primo what he had said. "I didn't say I wasn't going to win! I said we needed to talk about what winning was!"
"Hmmm," I replied. "So it wasn't your intention to communicate that you can't win but to talk about the bigger picture. You didn't want to promise something that can't happen because you don't want to lie but you wanted to talk about how you fit into the bigger picture."
"Yes," he said. "I can't say I am going to win this race because I am not going to win this race."
"But they thought that's what you said."
"But I didn't!" he protested.
"I know," I said. "But somehow, that's what they got. And then Bruno writes to you that people want to have hope. Except anyone who can look at the data knows there is no chance at all that you will win this election. None."
Primo shook his head. "If I had known that they wanted me to tell people I was going to win, I never would have agreed to do this."
I nodded. "You don't want to lie. I don't want you to lie. You have to live with yourself when this is all over, so you want to conduct yourself with integrity. But you still want people to be motivated to work for the party overall, right?"
He nodded.
[Then we went through a lot of back and forth about how he was despondent over this and how being criticized for something you didn't think you had done wrong and then criticized via email is very hard to take and the band went through, "Play That Funky Music" and "The Night Chicago Died" and four other songs I can't remember.]
I rubbed the back of his head. He dropped his chin and sighed. "I wish I had never done this," he admitted. "It's just too hard. And now they are telling me things that I didn't think were part of the deal. I can't tell people to donate money to my campaign because they will be wasting their money. I don't want to do that. I don't want to mislead people."
[NB And that is why Primo is a very bad politician. He is not willing to lie to get what he wants.]
"They don't know any more than you do," I said. "None of them are political experts. And it's your name and your face out there. So you get to make the decisions. It's your reputation, not theirs. Everyone has their own agenda. There's nothing wrong with that. The people on the campaign team might want to be able to put on their resumes that they did X with this campaign. And that's fine. But in the end, you get to decide. And you don't have to feel bad about that."
He nodded.
"You need to be more like Bill Clinton."
"What?"
"Not the sleeping around and the sexual harassment part. Not the perjury part. But the motivating people part. He is good at connecting with people and getting them excited. So how do you do that?"
I thought.
"I have an idea," I said. "Voters need to be motivated. But you can't motivate them by telling them you are going to win. What about this? When someone asks if you are going to win, you say, 'I would love to win and represent you in Congress. If I am elected' -- see, you are saying 'if.' You are not promising anything. 'If I am elected, I will work on these three issues.' Just change the subject. Focus on what you want to talk about. You do that with me all the time."
He smiled. "I wouldn't say that I would 'love' to win."
"Whatever. Use whatever words you want. But use that question to re-direct the conversation."
"But what if they keep asking? I can't keep doing that."
"Sure you can. And besides, remember, you are with people who are on your side. They are not trying to trip you up. You are not being interviewed by the opposition."
"Maybe."
Then I had a brilliant idea. "Here's what you need to say! You need to own it. You need to be authentic. You don't need to dance around the issue. Just admit it! Just tell the truth. People want someone who is honest and authentic and it has already worked for you. Remember when I suggested you change your speech to admit you are not a storyteller, you are an engineer and you deal in facts? Well, here is another chance to own the issue. When someone asks if you can win, you tell them, 'This is a David and Goliath race. I am David. I am hoping for a miracle.'"
"I can't say 'miracle' because that implies I believe in God and I don't."
I rolled my eyes. "Whatever! Mr Can't See the Forest for the Trees! Use whatever words you want to express the idea. But David and Goliath is a great image and it works. Americans love the underdog."
"Maybe," he admitted.
"I think this could work. It is absolutely truthful. It would take a miracle for you to win. But if you did win, then you would do a, b, and c. Just tell them that. You are not lying. You are giving people hope, even though anyone with a brain can see that there is no chance that you would win. But you deflect the question with that answer and then move on to what people actually can do, which is to be sure to vote, to work for other candidates who do have a chance of winning, etcetera."
He smiled. "Maybe." Then we left so he could get a beer and he was not so cranky.
I don't think I could be a full-time political spouse. This is way too hard.
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