The idea makes me nauseated.
And then we need to ask our friends to host fundraisers for him. Throw a party at their house, invite their friends, ask for money.
That idea also makes me nauseated.
I sussed out one of my Polka Dot friends this morning. She is a strong Polka Dot and has volunteered on at least one political campaign that I know about.
I casually mentioned the fundraiser Primo and I had attended this weekend.
She shuddered. "Who throws that kind of thing?" she asked. "I would hate to do that!"
Well. That answered that question.
Then Primo informed me that the judge's husband - the judge on whose campaign he worked this spring (I forgot what I named her) - donated $400 to his campaign.
My jaw dropped. "That's so much!"
"Well, I donated $300 to her campaign, so they're returning the favor."
My jaw dropped further. "You donated $300 to a political campaign and didn't tell me about it? You didn't discuss it with me first? I thought we had agreed that we would not do that sort of thing!"
He looked slightly shamefaced. "It was out of that old credit union account that I finally closed. The one I had before I married you. It seemed like that money really shouldn't count."
I glared at him. "I'm going back to work so you can do this - for not very much money - and you're giving our money away? I thought you were donating $20 or so!"
He got defensive. "It makes a difference in the campaign finance reports."
"So what? Who cares what's in the finance report?"
"Political strategists do."
"So what again! Why does an ordinary voter care about that? Does it translate into more votes?"
He sighed. "It's how it's done. I donate to a campaign and they donate back to me."
"Then why bother? Why not just keep the money?"
"Because it shows in the reports!"
I took a deep breath and tried again. "Why does it matter what's in the reports? The ordinary voter neither knows nor cares, right?"
He exhaled impatiently. "It looks good! It looks like I can raise money!"
"I don't understand! Who cares if it looks like you can raise money? One hundred dollars is a hundred dollars, whether it comes from you or from another candidate. Why go through the charade?"
"Because some people don't want to give money unless they see other people have given money."
I looked at the clock next to me. "It took you three minutes before you gave me a decent answer to that question."
He smiled. "Are you cranky?"
"Yes," I said. "I am cranky. And I want to know when the money is going to start coming from these donors. You've primed the pump enough."