Doris writes back to me.
I think we need to
start anew after I offer our read on how the tensions began. You should tell us
your recollections.
The most significant
factor in our initial qualms was reading your blog. We were probably too quick
to form judgments before we even met you. Your likes, politics, and religious views seem so divergent from Primo's and ours. Plus we know that Primo is often an easy mark. His marriage to ex-wife (which we STRONGLY opposed) turned out to be what we had feared...
Me: Oh my gosh! You have to hear this!
Primo: What?
Me: Listen to what your mom wrote. “We know that Primo was
often an easy mark. His marriage to ex-wife (which we STRONGLY opposed) turned out
to be what we had feared.”
Primo: I know they didn’t like ex-wife, but I can’t regret my
marriage to her. We had some really good times. And if it weren’t for that
marriage, I would not have M and V. I am really lucky to have such
wonderful stepdaughters and their husbands and children. I could never regret
marrying ex-wife if just for that.
Me: But you’re just an easy mark. You have fallen prey to my
wiles.
Primo: Yes, I am weak and stupid and have bad taste in
women.
Me: Oh man! And then she says that she had to suck it up
with your dad’s family. Listen:
Sly, of course,
wouldn't listen to advice on not marrying his first wife. He was but 19 and
Melinda was 23...She even bought the engagement ring! It took me a long time to
build a relationship with some of Sly's relatives[1] and
the initiative was all mine.
Primo: My dad’s family was not nice to my mom.
Me: So they let your dad off the hook? Your mom did not
abandon a spouse and two little boys. That was your dad.
Primo: Yes, but clearly my mother was the one at fault. She
chased a married man.
Me: Yeah. So like your mom.
Primo: I know.
Me: Here’s the rest of it:
We would be happy to
thaw the ice that has separated us and develop a friendlier relationship. We
doubt that we could ever agree on what seem to be some of your world-views.[2]
When we were together,
you always appeared chilly, guarded, and rather judgmental. We don't know if
you found us welcoming open, rigid, or just old fogies.
We've always felt that
you were worried about Primo having responsibilities to us in our dotage.
Cordially,
Sly and Doris
Primo: I am worried about having responsibilities to them in
their dotage! That’s not you – that’s me! And I told them that they had to
choose – if they don’t accept you, then they won’t be seeing me.
Me: Is that why they want me to tell them what I don’t like
about them?
Primo: I think that would be brilliant – for you to tell my
mom and dad exactly what you don’t like about them. That would make things so
much better.
Me: It would be fabulous.
[1] That is,
screw you. I had to suck up to them so by God, you'll do it to me.
[2] Well, I
demand that everyone share my opinion on things, so I guess this is not going
to work.
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