Primo: Here. Read the card from my parents.
Me: Fine. [I read.] There. Done.
Primo: See? It wasn't bad. They didn't write anything in it. Now you're done.
Me: OK. And I know your mom just wants to do something nice, but....
[I am reading this post on Captain Awkward and am thinking, "I am not alone!" It's not me! I am not the bizarre one here. You wonder why I write about this stuff? It's as I said to my mom, who suggested that perhaps I need to let Sly and Doris go - I need to be validated. My mom has never dealt with people like this. I would not have believed there were people like that until I had met Sly and Doris. I, to my regret, may even not have believed other people dealing with people like this. I may have thought, "Surely this person is somehow complicit! Nobody could be that bad!"
But when you mix alcohol with meanness - Sly's, then there can be trouble.
I just want to know that there are bizarre people out there and it's not my fault. If it is my fault, I need to know what I am doing wrong. I talked to my sister and said, "It's not that I am obsessed with this - it's just like passing a wreck on the highway. You want to turn to the person next to you and say, "Holy smoke! Can you believe that?" and have that person agree with you that it's a mess.]
Primo: She does! When I was there earlier this month, she even said, "I know you don't want any trinket-type things."
Me: So she sends us one!
Primo: But it's a cat! And we love cats! So there is a cat exception!