Sunday, September 6, 2015

In which Sly still doesn't have his affairs in order

You guys, I am tired, tired, tired. Primo and I got up at 4:45 this morning so I could take him to the airport for Round 417illion of the Sly and Doris Irresponsibility Show.

We had a super romantic weekend of paying bills, talking about the taxes, and changing the kitty litter.

We had a super romantic conversation on the way to the airport about Sly and Doris' will, which they still have not finished because Sly does not want to give a number until he knows how much Ted and Jack will inherit from their mother, who married a wealthy man after she and Sly divorced, which is why Sly thought he should not have to pay child support because his kids had a wealthy stepdad, even though Sly seemed to have missed the part that Ted and Jack are his children. His children. Not the stepfather's.

Sly has an interesting way of looking at life. Someone else is responsible for his children because someone else has more money?

Well OK. Nice if you can get that to work for you.

Sly and Doris still have not finished their will, which has been in limbo since I met Primo.

"So your dad is going to screw you on this," I said.

"No, he's not!" Primo answered. "As executor of the will, I can decide how to divide the assets if my dad does not put it in writing."

I sighed. "That's what I mean - that he won't make a decision. There is no decision that you could make that would make all three of you happy. Ted will say he should have more because he has a disabled child who will never live independently. Jack will say yeah, but he has three children, so he should have more. Ted will counter by saying that Sly and Doris already gave Jack $280,000 when they invested in his restaurant. If you have to divide that money, Ted and Jack will make your life miserable."

"He's been waiting for Ted and Jack to tell him how much they are getting from their mom."

"And it is in Ted and Jack's interest how to get and share that information? Besides, why can't your dad just call his ex wife?"

Primo laughed. "He would never call her! She is the devil as far as he is concerned!"

"Yeah, that's your dad. Willing to do the hard things so his kids won't have to."


  1. so with no will, the state law probably says all to Doris if she survives, or 1/3 each to the sons if she does not. that might actually make the whole thing more simple.

    know this has been a horror show. so sorry.

    1. It's like watching a train wreck about to happen and you can do nothing to stop it, right?

      Thanks, Webb.

  2. I know you're writing this on a time-lag, so maybe this is no longer relevant, but has it occurred to Primo to say, 'Sly, if you don't sort this out, I will, as executor of the estate, divide everything into even thirds, end of story.'?

    Alternatively, Primo could say, 'If you don't have a will, as executor, I decide what happens to your estate and as such, I will give it to [insert name of charity Sly can't stand].'

    1. I would rather Primo say, "I will keep it all for myself and my brothers can inherit from their wealthy mother." :)

      However, I also love the idea of a charity that Sly would hate. Primo could say he would give it all to ELCA World Hunger relief. Sly thinks anyone who believes in God is really stupid, so that would make him crazy to have his money going to a church organization!

  3. I'm sure that all this has already been resolved (good or bad) but it is important to understand what the state you live in will do if you don't have a properly executed will. I live in PA and it's straight forward. Surviving spouse gets 1/3 and children divide the other 2/3. I found Florida's very interesting. It actually takes into account how the children relate to the deceased.
    Using Primo's family if Doris passes away first Sly would get 1/2 and Primo would get 1/2 of her estate. If Sly passes first Doris would get 1/2 and the children from 1st marriage would get 1/2. The presumption appears to be that the surviving spouse would pass their portion of the estate to the children they had with the deceased. Additionally, if there are children who died first and had children their children would stand in for the parent and get what would have been the parent's share. So if Primo's sister had children before she passed Primo would get half of the 1/2 and the children get the other 1/2.

    1. Yes! I had pointed this out to Primo months ago - that if his dad died without finishing the will (and assuming there were no prior wills, which it turns out there were), his mom would not have gotten everything! I am pretty sure we would not have been able to convince Primo's brother Ted to turn over his share of the estate to his stepmother.

  4. I'd probably do the even 3-way split myself. It won't make anyone happy, but it doesn't sound like anything would, so take the quick and easy route and be done with it.

    Alternatively, Primo takes the whole shebang, and sends taunting text messages while drinking boozy, fruity drinks from a beach somewhere.

    1. Meri Aust, I vote for option 2. Especially given what I know about Primo's half brother Ted, who 1. lives way beyond his means and 2. will inherit from his wealthy mother.

  5. Sigh Sly. Men like him exist you know. Sun revolves around their backside, everyone else is stupid and and incompetent but me! Look at how educated I am. Oh u want me to "do" something?? As in physical work that will require effort????? Nooo way Jose! Im tooo smart to actually do anything.

    Yep. They exist. Married to one. Would totally fall on me and not even give a crap about looking after me. Poor pooor pooor Doris.


Sorry about the new commenting requirements - I have been getting spammed like crazy.